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Bang bang hammers in my head...
I don't know how I'm doing anymore, I'm losing touch with everything and everyone. I'm ok for a few hours and then I lose it, I either get really depressed or angry or irrational. I flipped out at my mom today because my purse fell on the floor when I put it on a chair and I said something to Steve that almost ended our relationship. I've been ( Read more... ) -
I'm counting sheep but running out
Yesterday and today were okay days, I've still been thinking things I shouldn't but I think that's to be expected.I saw Barbara today and she's upped my evening dose of medication to 80mg from 60 and said that if I don't feel better in 3 weeks we're going to try something different. I really hope I start to feel better soon, I don't know how much ( Read more... ) -
Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be sedated...
And I really do, I can't deal with this. I have 2 scenarios that explain why I'm feeling this way and one I really don't want to think about right now. It would be devastating to many more people besides myself. I seem to be falling down a deep hole and I can't dig myself out. I was in the bath yesterday and I could almost see blood in the water. ( Read more... ) -
Back in the saddle again...
So apparently it's been 44 weeks since I've updated this thing. Well all the old drama has gone and new issues have risen in their place. Well let's start with Christmas and New Years before all the heavy stuff.
( Christmas... ) -
my life sucks monkey butt
so i'm sorting from my phone again because we got our internet shut off and we can't afford to say for another week. so with all the shit thats been going down at my house i decided to take a little trip to see my best friend Sarah. that was a huge mistake. apparently the phrase 'sisters before misters' never entered her mind. from the minute i got ( Read more... ) -
Doggy update and some boring stuff
So we're keeoping the dog that we are fostering. He's a 7 year old cocker spaniel ow named Reggie. He's so adorable, I'll have pictures soon. He's all black and only 50 pounds and 100% cute. I know I said that I didn't like him but he's grown on me ( Read more... ) -
This is some deep stuff...
So here's the deal, two of my brothers leaders got engaged last night and they announced it in all three services today b/c Joanna is one of the pastors daughters. It got me thinking. yes I want to get married and yes I'd like to have kids; but do I want that now? Mike and Joanna are 25-26 so they're not that much older than I and Vickie and Dave ( ( Read more... ) -
Can't make this happen...
So I applied for 6 bazillion jobs yesterday and what job do I get called for an interview for? Selling fricken knives. Ok so my mom says she'd by from me and has some people that would, but why would I want to sell friggen knives ( Read more... ) -
See the Icon? That's what I want everyone to do
Apparently I can't do anything right anymore...again. I try to lose weight, "not allowed" says my asshole body. I try to get a job, "not allowed" say asshole employers. I try to go to school, "not allowed" says my fucking bank account and why? Because I don't have a fucking job. So as of now i' going to be fat, jobless, stupid and annoying my ( Read more... )
