bitchfest 2008, live

[iristhespider]

i am way to good at sitting for hours and hours at a time doing absolutly nothing. this is bad because it is not one bit satisfying. i have become a person full of frustration. i feel like i am busy all the time but it is the kind of busy where i still feel alone. i'm around people but i don't really know any of them. it's not like i'm using myself

Comments

[spicyovenmitt]

Jamie. i love you. i love your heartbreaking words. i love that we are going through our own little versions of personal growth slash hell. i love that you let yourself be this vulnerable online. there are just SO many things to LOVE! tonight i seriously almost off-ed myself due to the stress of life. WHY is it so trying? it should and could be so easy. maybe there is a key and we just have to find the right lock to fit it in? who knows

[iristhespider]

i love you too butterball. wish you were at the show tonight. i'd love to do the pizza thing. maybe you could quit the no cheese/sugar thing for a few hours....you seem to have been into that kinda thing in the past.

[spicyovenmitt]

I am so more than a no cheese no sugar guy. tonight i realized that~! i ate nachos and nearly died in the process. i danced my ass off at friend's dance party in stead, cause it was closer. i miss you jamie jam. what are you doing today ? tonight? when are you free... .cause i am free a lot.

[iristhespider]

i work 3-9 today. i don't know when i'm free. i will get back to you on this one.

[spicyovenmitt]

Post Script: Lake "you are alone" just came on. i suggest giving that little beast a listen.

[goatfarmer2b]

you make a strong point with saying how it's different when you choose to be alone it's okay. but when it feels like the only option, it's very difficult. and lack of funding makes it all the more difficult because you can't go places and spend it on things and be around people or meet them. i have had this problem A LOT in boone. i've been here for 2.5 years and i still feel like i need a couple good friends. i just got out of a relationship with someone i saw daily so i'm re-adjusting to the "forced" alone time, time that i asked for really. i've been trying to keep myself busy and i find it's easiest when i'm out of my house (which is kind of a pain in the butt for me because i live out of town and feel like shouldn't spend gas on getting to town but what i crave is human interaction, even if it's only with strangers walking down the street giving a half smile). so, i guess what i may be trying to say is i make an effort to make my alone time chosen, in my head. i think out my day and figure when i'm probably going to be alone and

[steelymaam]

hmm.... Feeling ya. Sometimes life gets tedious and impossible. Answers?... I don't know, seems like the less I think about myself the better. But that doesn't help in filling up time satisfyingly

[goatfarmer2b]

along the same lines of working somewhere that provides room and board, i've lookde in to wilderness therapy programs. i guess you may not be huge into the great outdoors, but you're working with youngsters already. these jobs generally pay well and you work for a week, then have a week off. but your week on is out in the forest, teaching low impact camping and making sure the kids don't run away or hurt themselves or each other.
just thought i'd added under this comment.

Oh! One more thing...

[steelymaam]

What about hosting a Stitch 'n' Bitch? Like where you get together with other people and sew/knit/craft. Invite people you know weekly, or make a cool flier. Or maybe find one that's already going on and go...

I love a stitch night. It motivates me to do something, plus I get to hang out with people I like...

(I dunno, maybe you weren't looking for advice and ideas and stuff... I understand the need to just vent..)