The Chairman received a phone call from a phishing scam this morning (from 212-423-4567, in case anyone else receives a call from them). The Chairman hung up on the recorded voice on the phone prior to giving away any precious personal information. However, such scams anger the Chairman, and he requests the appropriate literary revenge ( Read more... )

So, the Chairman and the Chairwoman are going to have a Chairbaby. Yes, this is terribly exciting, and therefore deserving of poetry!

We aren't planning to find out ahead of time if it's a Chairboy or a Chairgirl, but I imagine the baby will look a little like this:

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IRON POETS!!!

Give tribute to the Master of the Undead! The topic is Dracula.

Whether you loathe the undead with a passion beyond understanding, or whether your dreams are filled with Transylvanian romance, the Chairman calls upon you to fill this page with your vampiric prose.

The Chairman and Chairwoman have entered into a legal contract to purchase a house. Specifically, this house:

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Who could pay tribute to an IRON MAN, if not for an IRON POET?

Sing me songs of the new Iron Man film! Spin verses and rhymes to this comic book character! Justify or condemn his Civil War shenanigans!

The Chairman has a hole in his heart, that can only be filled with poetry or highly theoretical arc-reactor technology. Save him, O IRON POETS

I am reasonably certain that Mr. Gygax is worthy of poetry. Let's give him fair tribute, O\my IRON POETS!

This seemed worthy of poetry.

"Samurai Mover" link courtesy of judd_sonfbert

IRON POETS! Give me poetry worthy of catapults and furniture!

The Chairman believes that it is time to give IRON POETRY a bit of a rest. This competition began back in February 2005, and two-and-a-half years is a long stretch for anyone to be constantly composing poetry. We haven't been getting many submissions for the past few months, so I'm guessing that you're all burnt out on rhymes ( Read more... )

Footloose. Kevin Bacon. Wrestling and gymnastics cleverly disguised as dancing. The Chairman loves this movie! What do the IRON POETS think about it?

The Chairman is off this week to battle pirates, sharks, and tourists. Will these perils prove too perilous? Will the beach stay out of reach? And if the boat's a-rockin', would that imply anything unusual?

OH IRON POETS!!!

Spin me some songs of nautical nonsense!
Preach me some prose of cursed cruises!

GIVE ME HONEYMOON POETRY!!