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So.
I've decided to go back to blogger ( Read more... ) -
Day # 0025
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Perception is a Result, Not a Cause
Like a wave that looks into itself and discovers it is the ocean...
"I am responsible for what I see.
"I choose the feelings I experience, and I
"decide upon the goal I would achieve.
"And everything that seems to happen to me I ask for,
"and receive as I have asked."
Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world.
Hold ( Read more... ) -
Day #0010
It's officially been ten days since my last bottom line behavior. I'm pretty excited about that. I got my one week chip tonight. It's all nice and red. Yay!
Got some bad news. A second friend from high school has been killed this week. While I haven't heard the details yet, I'm piecing together he was shot in the back of the head after a deal gone ( Read more... ) -
Every Day...
Is a new day ( Read more... ) -
I'm Willing To Break Myself
I went out with the girls last night. It was originally going to be me and HC but after a while, the rest of them showed up. Within 5 minutes of sitting down w/our drinks, a married man was introducing himself to us, telling us how his friends were too chicken shit to say hi. Within 5 seconds of realizing he was approaching us, I said "you're ( Read more... ) -
Lapse...Relapse...Re-Relapse...
I'm still trying to figure out what it is that causes me to act out. In the meantime, I've been doing plenty of acting out.
It started as my pre-birthday night celebration got out of hand which I reported on the 6th). I was incredibly sexually attracted to him. I pretty much knew that was going to happen.
Then on Sunday (the 7th). A bartender I had ( Read more... ) -
A Letter...
If I were really intent on getting the task done, then I could afford to be cowardly about it. Therefore, I decided to write a letter...
I am terminating our relationship. I have come to realize that for all the love there has been between us, and there's been much, at least an equal part of sickness, obsession and neurosis has been present also.
My ( Read more... ) -
Starting Over?
I acted out a few days ago. In my defense, it was my birthday and I was particularly drunk and with this particularly attractive guy. I mean... I pretty much knew before the night was even underway that it would probably result in some bottom line activities. But it was just too good of an offer to pass up. I know I'm self-justifying there but, ( Read more... ) -
Day #0006
It's been six days since I officially declared my sobriety. It's been nine days since my last bottom line behavior.
I didn't run today. I felt like I should but I've been so damn emotionally drained I just couldn't find it in me. I went to The Bar Formerly Known as Coco's for a Bud Light and Jack and Coke. People always say drinking by yourself is a ( Read more... )