sick of worrying about fragility. this isn't the time. am hoping to be too busy to really worry at all, although this kind of thing requires maintenance, certainly, so what i'm saying is that i'm hoping to be too busy to notice the stamp given by the experienced. well, when pretty girls make graves get sentimental again, when you specifically ( Read more... )

this is the time of year when i am inclined to being alone, towards enforcing strict dietary regimens purely for the sake of curiosity and self control. while i've recently noticed the comfort in patterns and old habits, it seems that the old things have worked for their intentions, but to continue in those patterns won't be cyclical so much as ( Read more... )

drove from night until noon on the longest night, and despite the rather gray sunrise, those gorgeous hills make me close to bursting every time. drove from afternoon to night, and it's strange how with the opposite, the landmarks are crushing instead of uplifting, and the cigarette with passing each of them is resigned instead of celebratory. ( Read more... )

what was wrong with the speakers was that the balance was turned all the way to the right, and both speakers are set up as left channel. nursed a dizzy hangover and got stoned watching the sci-fi channel. why do i feel so good when i'm returning to old habits. sometimes at work, i tie my handkerchief around my nose and mouth. it makes me feel ( Read more... )

and now, why did that dishearten me so much? i've felt like i'm going in the right direction, and heading towards it with a select group of people who are doing the same, who know we're doing this because we all want to change. we're all really distant, though, all in our heads, and as much as i don't want to think about it, i shouldn't hold such ( Read more... )

pouring concrete. it's in my nails and nasal passages. house to myself for christmas, money to spend, expensive shampoo waiting in the bathroom, and i made a single glass of eggnog from scratch. self improvement in stretching and eating habits, in calling people back, in assuming sincerity from very sincere people. it's cold, but i shouldn't

i can pretend that the increasing pressure in the sides of my sinuses as virginia flattens out into north carolina is impending sickness, or optimism, or something that really hurts (but isn't quite heartbreak). driving into atlanta doesn't bring the same positive swelling as now entering albemarle county. i learn a lot every time, and this time ( Read more... )

complete list of things i like about cold(er) weather:
do not have to make decisions when getting dressed--can put on everything i have an interest in wearing

lots due tomorrow and lots to do today and tomorrow. home after class on tuesday. leaving atlanta at 4:30 for a 520 mile drive is a really good idea, i mean it, really.

i still feel too young to focus, with more than a few ideas, vague inclinations towards the future, hands that smell like vitamin b, printing out other people's poetry on the back of homework assignments.

obscure punctuation, greasy scrambies from filthy pans, a filthy house that i can't make myself clean (i want to roll on the floor). i want virginia back. i blurt things out in letter form, then write and rewrite them ( Read more... )