Call it Desperation [EXO]
Xiu Min/Chen
NC-17 (!) blowjob, handjob
~3500w
Minseok doesn’t have a problem sharing Jongdae with his other band members. He’s got their pillows to replace him.
For Dirah (chens) and her prompt, "create a scenario that would cause either xiumin or chen (though I prefer xiumin since that would be so hot) to get jealous of the latter." I really want to thank you, so much for being such a great friend. Not only did you comfort me and give me advice, but you even wrote me xiuchen to cheer me up! (Even though I didn't realize that you wrote it in the first place OTL) You really are an amazing person and I love you so very much Dirah <3 I really hope you like this.
And Simone (htiitlstdct; I still haven't memorized your username) ;____; I could never, ever keep a secret from you, fic-wise (and other-wise), so it just seemed right to have you beta this <3 Thank you so much bb, you are such a lifesaver with me being so fucking rusty and insecure with smut lol. You are my precious, vute boyfriend <2 And, you are a fantastic person, letting me rant to you, and even hating obnoxious bitches for me (◕‿◕)✿
No, really, both of you, thanks so much <3 I hope I wasn't a bother at all... (also, thanks to eoryndal for the late virtual hug and exo spam lol)
Title is from Mona Lisa because I couldn't think of anything and I miss P!ATD a little o___e
Sometimes their eyes meet and Minseok feels something; it's like something's slithering down his back-shivers, and his stomach starts to flutter. He's not completely new to the feeling. He had felt it once before, with his old girlfriend. He doesn't like to think about her so he shoves the feelings away, even though they're not about her, they're about Jongdae.
The feelings grow though, from the butterflies to his heart acting abnormally. Minseok loves and hates the feeling, and sometimes, it worsens. Like, when Jongdae attempts to spend time with other people than him.
Sometimes, he'll go walking with Tao. It's innocent-just a short walk through the nearby park. They talk sometimes, but for the most part it is silent. But they have fun disguising themselves before they go, Minseok notices; Zi Tao gels his hair back and Jongdae puts on a hat. Granted, the disguises don't always work, but Minseok has a feeling that they do it not to just disguise themselves, but to simply spend time together. Which is good, of course. Jongdae needs to bond with the other members too. And Zi Tao and Jongdae both happen to like dressing up, apparently.
It's not odd.
Not at all.
When they head out, the rest of the members are snapped at; Wu Fan's face gets darker than usual, Lu Han frowns, and Yixing tries to cheer Minseok up by cooking something that he would never be allowed to even eat-Wu Fan interfered before the first bite could reach Minseok's mouth.
The members dissipate the second time Jongdae is out with Zi Tao and Minseok locks himself in the room he shares with Zi Tao. He gets so frustrated that he punches Tao's pillow.
The first hit lands in the center; he grunts a little bit. Then, he punches it again. It's not that he's imagining Zi Tao's head on the pillow or anything, no. That would be completely unethical. The third hit is placed on the side, where Minseok doesn't imagine Zi Tao's waist to be. Then he punches the lower region of the pillow, not imagining Tao's crotch.
I'll punch your balls out if you touch Jongdae, Minseok doesn't think.
Jongdae asks for cooking lessons from Yixing one day. It's a simple request and Yixing nods happily, Sure. Minseok's not there when they begin the first lesson so all goes well, that is, until Jongdae accidentally dropped a carton of eggs on the ground. Yixing sat back and watched as Jongdae crawled onto the floor to clean the mess up and told Kris about it later while laughing behind his small hand. Of course, this Minseok overheard.
Minseok is there the second lesson though, and he is curious. He sits at the table and watches Yixing explain, in stilted Korean, how much flour to use for the cake. Yixing says two tablespoons instead of two cups and when Jongdae puts the cake in the oven, he sets the temperature to 560 degrees, per Yixing's instructions. Minseok doesn't stand up to help until smoke starts billowing out of the oven.
Before he can though, Jongdae rushes up to open it.
Minseok watches in horror as Jongdae screams at his burned hand. Yixing is quick, it seems, because he's there in a second, cradling Jongdae's hands in his with a wet towel. Jongdae's eyes squeeze shut in pain and Minseok stands there, helpless. He wants to do something, but he can't; Yixing's already there, he is unneeded.
Jongdae smiles-it's a grimace, if he's honest-at Yixing and Minseok grips the arm of the couch tight before sneaking into Yixing's room to steal his pillow.
Yixing doesn't take much notice that his pillow's gone; he just borrows Jongdae's extra pillow.
Minseok frowns at the sight and lands a hard punch into the middle of the pillow when everyone's asleep.
Lu Han doesn't notice Jongdae next to him most of the time, mostly because he's too immersed in whatever he's doing at the moment, whether it was talking or eating or watching TV.
This time, he's doing the rubix cube and Jongdae watches in wonder as Lu Han completes it. It's a little daunting, but Jongdae's always fascinated by this kind of stuff, yet the rest of the members pay no mind to Lu Han fumbling away at the colorful box. Yixing and Zi Tao are out, doing God knows what, but Wu Fan and Minseok stay behind.
It's 4am in the fucking morning, and Minseok's eyes nearly close once again.
He wonders how everyone else can be so awake-they came back to the dorms at midnight-and wonders how Wu Fan's cover up even works. He's tempted to borrow it, but he knows that Wu Fan would never give it up. He sighs in resignation and Lu Han's head pops up, quirking an eyebrow at him, still doing the rubix cube.
"Something wrong?" Lu Han mumbles, eyes drifting down again.
"No," Minseok replies. "Tired."
"Mmm."
"Ah-Hyung?" Jongdae finally speaks up, just as Minseok had expected. "Teach me how to do the rubix cube," he requests in that quiet, earnest manner of his.
Lu Han finally takes notice of Jongdae.
"Sure," Lu Han chuckles. "Later though, if you can stay awake."
"I will!" Jongdae insists, and smiles brightly enough that it substitutes the sun for Minseok. And Minseok doesn't wake up until the sun does.
Jongdae ends up falling asleep as soon as they get the van after the day and night long practice, head lolling on Minseok's shoulder. Minseok smiles softly at him before shifting so that he's more comfortable.
Then, Lu Han comes into the picture: "Yah," Lu Han shakes Jongdae. "Wake up, Jongdae~ Rubix cube, remember?"
"Wha-Yah. Yes. Rubix cube," Jongdae mumbles sleepily. "Right." Lu Han holds out his spare cube and Jongdae lifts his head from Minseok’s shoulder as he takes it. It feels cold on Minseok’s side of the van and it seems so warm and cozy on Lu Han’s side now.
When they get home, Minseok steals Lu Han's favorite pink pillow while he's in the bathroom. He doesn't give it back until a week later, after doing things to it he would never do to someone with the blessed bone structure Lu Han has. (At least he's nice enough to give it back.)
Jongdae ends up quitting the rubix cube after two hours because it hurts his brain.
Then, Jongdae starts hanging out with Wu Fan more than is strictly required. It was bad enough that they shared a room in the dorm, but did Jongdae have to spend time with him outside too?
Jongdae-or rather, Chen-begins to partner up with Kris. It isn't just that though-Jongdae goes to him for other things, too.
When Jongdae is tired, he heads to his and Wu Fan's room. Wu Fan, mostly busy with going through schedules or answering e-mails, will shake his head and chuckle at Jongdae, then pat the seat next to him, urging Jongdae to sit down. Then he tells Jongdae a story-he's not the most gifted at story-telling, but he does have a way with words. He tells Jongdae of his childhood, how wonderful it was, and Jongdae will listen intently for a few minutes before falling asleep.
When Minseok finally gathers up the courage to slip into their room, not able to handle his curiosity, he finds Jongdae's head resting in Wu Fan's lap. Minseok’s intestines seem to tie themselves into painful knots right then and there. Wu Fan is sleeping on his own pillow, so instead of finding a way to get rid of his frustration, Minseok slips out of the bedroom of his band members and this time, he’s not able to get rid of his anger at all.
Later, Wu Fan urges Jongdae to tell him stories too. And after a few times storytimes with just the two, Wu Fan would insis that he tell these stories to the rest of the members as well. He would do so shyly, but the members listen with interest. Wu Fan's hand always rests at the small of Jongdae's back, and Jongdae will relax and tell his stories as vividly as he can.
Minseok realizes that punching pillows isn’t enough when it comes to Jongdae’s new target, especially not since he can’t get a hold of Wu Fan’s beloved goose feather pillow for the life of him.
When they drive towards the studio for an interview one day, and a couple of fans hold out a large banner saying ‘Krischen Fighting!’ Minseok, well known with the importance of a good OTP, snaps.
The interview is horrible because Kris and Chen team up for a game of takkbam against Xiu Min and Tao, and they high five and smirk and play around like children. Chen, the most awkwardly smiling duck of Exo-M, suddenly knows how to give charismatic grins to the audience. Minseok has to refrain himself from throwing the three million won camera at Wu Fan’s head just for the sake of smacking that horrible, smug look off his face when Chen chest bumps him after giving Tao what is probably the hardest and most painful takkbam ever (Zi Tao doesn’t cry, but on the way back to the dorm, Wu Fan is the target of a lot of nagging).
Minseok doesn't necessarily 'corner' Jongdae, but the comparison is apt enough that it's a little confrontational. The rest of the members are gone, off shopping or whatever the Hell it was they did when they went out-Lu Han mentioned something about getting a bite to eat at a vegetarian restaurant, and Minseok shudders in disgust. Jongdae's on the couch, his entire body spread out across the sofa. His legs are long and dangling off the couch, and his arms rest beneath him and across from him, and it's honestly a tangle of limbs.
He admires Jongdae for a moment, because he's calm and placid and just lying there, doing nothing. It's a bit of a change from the hyperactive puppy Jongdae simply was, and Minseok finds that this side of him is calming.
Then, he advances.
"Jongdae.""Yes?"
"Um-"
Jongdae's iPhone beeps and he looks down to it. "Ah, one sec ok?"
Minseok purses his lips and nods. Jongdae dips down to grab his phone from the coffee table and his shirt rides up about an inch or so, so Minseok has to turn away. His neck feels hot.
Jongdae grins brightly when he's finished. "Do you need something, hyung?"
By this time, Minseok's lost all his composure. "Uh. No-Wait."
"Hmm?" Jongdae sits up now, and his shirt crinkles and slips up again, this time about two inches up his stomach. Minseok swallows a small gulp and shifts before proceeding.
"Right, okay, um-"
Jongdae's phone beeps again and he scrambles to put himself back up before answering. He picks it up again and smiles brightly at the text. Minseok frowns at him again before asking, "Who's that?"
"This?" Jongdae busies himself by replying, fingers flying across the keyboard, "It's Wu Fan. He's telling me what's happening-Zi Tao got lost." He chuckles, the tip of his tongue slipping out.
"Oh." The feeling comes back-it's a mixture of rage and stress and a big dislike for Wu Fan, or at least, dislike towards the thought of Wu Fan and Jongdae together, kissing and doing other unmentionable things. He feels himself walk towards Jongdae, and feels Jongdae stiffening a little bit in surprise.
Then, after a second of confusion on his own part, Minseok's hands are positioned on either side of Jongdae. He inches to get close, to grab his hips, but he holds himself back.
But when he gets close enough, close enough to Jongdae's face, Jongdae's lips, he loses it.
"Just-fuck it," Minseok says quietly and Jongdae blinks in confusion before Minseok rushes towards him, claiming his lips. The kiss is messy and not very ideal for their first kiss because Minseok's frustrated, angry almost, but their movements soften just as Minseok realizes what he's doing-he's kissing Jongdae, and Jongdae-he's kissing back. Minseok's stomach rolls and his heart clenches and unclenches as Jongdae comes closer, draping his arms around Minseok's waist.
Jongdae hums in surprise. "You-You could have said something," Jongdae mutters under his breath as Minseok pulls away and Minseok simply beams at him once more. "I would like to kiss you, too."
Jongdae follows through with his words, and this time Minseok can feel Jongdae's lips-slightly chapped-against his, and they're really kissing. Then, the kiss gets deeper, Minseok's tongue sliding against Jongdae's lips, rougher and rougher as they go. When their teeth clash, Minseok cringes a little as he pulls back his teeth so that they're not against Jongdae's and he smiles.
After a few minutes of caresses, Minseok's hands start to slide against his shoulders up to his neck; his hold is soft but firm because he doesn't want to hurt Jongdae and he tilts Jongdae's head a little, trying not to act too dominant. Jongdae lets out a little sound as he does this and Minseok smiles, grins into the kiss again. Their lips dig deeper and slower and their tongues slide against each other. Minseok accidentally bites into Jongdae's bottom lip.
"Oh, I’m…" he starts to apologize but Jongdae mewls-mewls like a fucking cat and Minseok does it again because that half-moan just got him half-hard and maybe, just maybe, a full moan will get him fully hard. It's sound logic, though he really shouldn't be thinking at the moment.
Jongdae pulls back a little, to breathe, and Minseok gets that but he wants to keep going, so he settles for separating his hands from Jongdae's neck. He kisses the side of Jongdae's throat, open-mouthed and messy, and Jongdae squirms a little bit, leaning closer. Jongdae's hands are drawn tight to Minseok’s waist and he loosens them as Minseok leads little butterfly kisses up near his jaw, to his ear.
Despite all of this, something feels weird and Minseok really wants to know what feels weird; yet it's hard to think because he's nibbling on Jongdae’s ear now and he tastes delicious all over.
Minseok opens his eyes tentatively to see what feels so weird, because he can’t shake the feeling off, and-
They're still in the living room.
Jongdae looks at him for a second, and he probably thinks the same because his hands move shakily up to the small of Minseok's back and he walks backwards a little bit. Minseok follows, a grunt slipping from his lips, encouraging Jongdae to get to the damn bedroom before the rest of the members barge in on them and/or they fuck each other right there in the middle of the living room. The door to Minseok and Zi Tao's bedroom is closed so Jongdae has to twist it; Minseok whines as Jongdae's palm separates from his back. Jongdae smiles when the door creaks open, and he backs in further. He's not careful about hitting anything so he steps on Tao's shirt and knocks over a clock before they're fully on the bed. Minseok's hands slide down to Jongdae's jacket as they land on the bed, pulling it open slowly.
"I never thought I'd-"
"Me neither," Jongdae replies. "With you."
Minseok smiles softly as he finally brushes the jacket off his shoulders. "Is that why...?"
Jongdae returns the smile; it's bashful and shy and Minseok has to restrain himself from kissing Jongdae's lips because he wants to hear this.
"Of all people, you noticed Wu Fan. I've been trying to get you jealous for a while, hyung."
"Really?" Minseok feels a pang of embarrassment but smiles reassuringly to downplay it. "So I guess I didn't notice you throwing yourself at Tao? Or cooking with Yixing? And trying to solve those rubix cubes with Lu Han? Oh, I noticed."
Jongdae runs a hand down Minseok's cheek, down his jaw and neck to his collarbones, "You never did anything, though," he pouts.
"I punched pillows," Minseok mutters quietly enough so that Jongdae doesn't hear. Jongdae smiles though and pulls him down so that they can kiss again. Minseok moves up and straddles Jongdae.
"Shirt," he mumbles, and slips his hands under the fabric and pulls up harshly. Jongdae complies, hands rushing down to pull the shirt off. The shirt sticks to the top of Jongdae's head for a second, but Minseok's strong yank gets it off and leaves his hair a mess.
It's oddly attractive, Jongdae’s messy hair, so Minseok's hands find themselves running through them now as he returns to kissing him. His hands slide down to Jongdae's soft stomach, then up to his nipples and he tweaks them for a moment. Jongdae grunts and mutters something akin to "fuck" and Minseok rubs them again. Jongdae shifts up slowly under Minseok and the older boy looks down; he's completely hard by now, his pants strained and tight in the crotch area; Jongdae is as well, if the bulge in his pants is a hint. Minseok's hands break away from Jongdae's nipples and slip down to Jongdae's pants, rubbing him a little bit. The boy moans quietly, holding back, and it is not what Minseok expects, what he wants, so he rubs again, harder.
Jongdae lets out a hiss, and Minseok frowns again because he wants Jongdae loud, and breathy, and-
Jongdae moans, and this time, it's perfect, because Minseok's rubbing himself on Jongdae and it just feels so good.
They continue to rub against each other until they're almost rutting like horny teenagers, so Minseok stops, earning a whine from a now needy Jongdae.
Jongdae understands though; the look in his eyes says so, and Minseok nods as his hands unzip Jongdae's pants, pulling the leathery fabric down to his knees. His underwear comes off shortly after and Minseok's eyes start to blur the moment he sets eyes on Jongdae's dick. It's not like he had expected, a bit bigger, but he's definitely not complaining.
He slides further down Jongdae's legs, resting on his knees and leans down. Inches away from Jongdae, he looks up. Jongdae's eyes are closed, cheeks flushed a light pink, and his mouth is open and letting out little huffs of breaths.
Satisfied with the view, Minseok drops down and licks the head of Jongdae's cock, shivering along with Jongdae. His eyes start to water for a moment and he tells himself to calm down because this is happening, this is real. He puckers his lips a little bit and rests his mouth on the tip of Jongdae's dick, sliding it in deeper, slowly. Jongdae's half-way in his mouth, completely hard, and Minseok wills himself and Jongdae to stop shaking before sucking experimentally.
Jongdae nearly convulses with pleasure, and his eyes open into little slits. He gazes at Minseok; he can only see Minseok's hair and nose, and that little mouth-the one that's sucking his dick. He gets a little harder at the sight, and he wants to come right there, in Minseok's mouth, but Minseok's not done with him, he knows, not at all. Minseok dips down further, finally taking Jongdae's dick to the back of his throat, and he bobs up and down for a few seconds before he starts humming.
"Fuck," Jongdae mutters softly, and his hands reach down to grab onto Minseok's hair, gripping his locks tightly. He pushes down a little bit when Minseok stops, and pulls again when Minseok continues. It goes on like that for a few minutes until Minseok's hair is balled tight into his fist.
Minseok doesn't make a conscious sound until the last pull, and he grunts a little bit at the pressure.
"S-Sorry," Jongdae lets go of the hair and grabs his arm instead. He's close to coming, his thighs are shaking and his breath comes out more raggedy as the seconds go on."Sh-Minseok," Jongdae warns, and Minseok nods. He pulls out almost all the way, lips still at the tip of his cock.
Jongdae comes and Minseok catches it all in his mouth, swallowing the come until Jongdae's done. He lays limp for a second, eyes still closed, then he puts out a hand. "You-You're still dressed."
"I-Yeah," Minseok flushes, chest heaving.
"You're still hard," Jongdae comments.
"Mmm," Minseok rumbles, falling to Jongdae's side.
Jongdae sighs out of fond exasperation, "Let me help you, you lazy ass." He gets up and climbs over Minseok, still naked. Slowly, he zips open Minseok's pants and slips a hand inside. He can feel Minseok jerk a little bit, and he smiles impishly before starting to move his hand, wrapping around Minseok's cock.
"J-Jong-" Jongdae kisses him softly. He continues to stroke Minseok's dick; he wants to see what it looks like, but he won't, not right now, because Minseok's face is much more fascinating and they might have to do this again sometime anyway. Minseok’s features contort; his mouth stays open throughout but his eyes flutter open and closed. The only sound that comes out is his name, repeatedly, desperately.
"Jongdae-" Minseok comes, and Jongdae grins at him. He waits a moment before slipping down to lay next to Minseok.
Minseok pulls Jongdae down by the arm, and nuzzles into him. His jacket's still on, his pants are unzipped to his knees, and his underwear is stained-he needs to shower-but he forgets about this the moment he can smell Jongdae, hear Jongdae, see Jongdae, taste Jongdae, touch Jongdae.
That is, until Jongdae commands, "Shower."