I hate malls. This should be unsurprising to most people I know, because most people I know are 1) also too cool for malls, and 2) not 12 years old
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OH MY GOD you are so epic for this post, you have no idea.
I feel you so 200% on all of this shit. I like mall trolling, because it's something I grew up doing with my Mom even if we never actually did any shopping (it was more like "hay let's just see the pretty stores and all the shit we don't need to buy or want to buy or can't afford to buy, wrap up the day eating out at a resturant, and go home satiated"). But... I think the joy of it has gone down for me over the years, mostly due to the stuff you've pointed out already. 1) I agree. I see more middle school kids looking to be the next Britney Spears with CELL PHONES (was I the only person who knew what a cell phone was only when I got to my second year in college and I actually NEEDED one?) and more "I'm walking around just to be seen in my Hot Topic-esque outfit" bitches then I want to in order to keep my lunch down. I guess it's hilarious since I think all of us went through a phase like that one year or another in our youth, but when you look back on it you see how just
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"I want to shove my foot up their asshole to see if I can find the gas pedal to get them the fuck out of my way."
hahaha. classic.
And yes, I do realize that I had my youthful period of lameness, but I lived out in the boonies so I generally kept it between the squirrels and I. They carry my secrets to the grave.
#6: I actually overheard a conversation with a cellphone kiosk. The guy had to sell a phone in 30 minutes or lose his job. True story... I doubt the boss was kidding. So I think the ones I feel sorry for the most are the cellphone kiosks and the friggin' lotion/beauty product ones where the employees ATTACK you
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There was a cool little Mediterranean restaurant in our mall about a year ago that had falafel and showarma an other good things, that actually tasted good, though I'm not sure it could still be called "healthy" by any means, but at least it was different. You know what happened to it? It closed down in like 6 months, because apparently no one wanted anything besides pizza and burgers. Depressing.
That said I think the mall in Lansing has a healthier restaurant (i think they mainly serve pita) that has been holding its own for a couple years now.
"The guy had to sell a phone in 30 minutes or lose his job."
This attitude somehow doesn't surprise me. It's like they think EVERYONE wants a cel-phone and that their employees just aren't pushing them hard enough. I don't know how you can fault an employee for it, I mean, a good 80% of the population has a cel now anyway, do they need 2?
Same with the cars and stuff they always push on you at the checkouts. I don't need any more credit cards thank you.
Malls in Japan have a lot of mens clothing shops too, almost too many... Men here are so fashion-conscious its kind of creepy. o.o Sometimes its hot but only if they are sticking to the MEN's fashion... You can always spot tourists on how poorly dressed they are, to be honest.
I really wish I had had enough cash to do some real shopping when I was in Japan. Those people put Americans to shame when it comes to consumer culture.
I went to the mall yesterday, as the things my goddaughter, funny by itself, want cannot be obtained in the alcohol aisle of meijer. Once there, it took me 15 minutes standing outside the disney store to prepare myself. I ran in, gradbed a mickey mouse plush, paid and left. Upon leaving, I had a panic attack, crouched in the fetal position in the giant tree where the kids play, staying there until security asked me to leave.
For some reason, people think I'm really friendly whenever I enter the mall. I was talked to by four different people. You know my problem with people talking to me. And it wasn't even worth saying. Mostly, "It's a madhouse in there," or, "My daughter really likes these
When I was in Bath $ Body I had to fight the urge to flee every 2 or 3 minutes.I kept telling myself, "Just find what you need and you'll never have to come here again."
typically when i head to malls, i don't really shop. i'm with people who do, however, so i people-watch. i'm entertained by the children who dress as if they're auditioning for a goth weekly magazine or something equally inappropriate on the opposite end of the spectrum (think america's next top model for kiddies, if you would).
and if you think you have a hard time shopping for clothes... try finding nice, professional clothing that you don't swim in. i've yet to find a good store that sells clothing that fits on a regular basis, and isn't obscenely expensive or that makes me look like i'm trying to sell myself on the street.
as far as the kiosk people, i try not to catch their eye. you're right, they never look happy, but when it comes to those who attack you, they seem creepily cheerful. they amuse me immensely, but i still keep my distance.
"make-up caked trolls... twist till something came loose." wow. simply wow. (i can't say i didn't giggle though).
People watching is fun, but sometimes I think I creep people out when I sit in the cafeteria and look around. I've had a couple father's give me a death-stare for what I assume was their fear of me being a pedophile scoping out their young daughters.
I was in Victoria's Secret once and these two 13 yr old suburbanite prima donnas walked in and just started gushing over all of the scandalous undergarments. I was all ._0
What is a 13 yr old going to do with stuff they get at VS? They looked like 13 yr old versions of Victoria Beckham. Depressing.
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I feel you so 200% on all of this shit. I like mall trolling, because it's something I grew up doing with my Mom even if we never actually did any shopping (it was more like "hay let's just see the pretty stores and all the shit we don't need to buy or want to buy or can't afford to buy, wrap up the day eating out at a resturant, and go home satiated"). But... I think the joy of it has gone down for me over the years, mostly due to the stuff you've pointed out already.
1) I agree. I see more middle school kids looking to be the next Britney Spears with CELL PHONES (was I the only person who knew what a cell phone was only when I got to my second year in college and I actually NEEDED one?) and more "I'm walking around just to be seen in my Hot Topic-esque outfit" bitches then I want to in order to keep my lunch down. I guess it's hilarious since I think all of us went through a phase like that one year or another in our youth, but when you look back on it you see how just ( ... )
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hahaha. classic.
And yes, I do realize that I had my youthful period of lameness, but I lived out in the boonies so I generally kept it between the squirrels and I. They carry my secrets to the grave.
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That said I think the mall in Lansing has a healthier restaurant (i think they mainly serve pita) that has been holding its own for a couple years now.
Reply
"The guy had to sell a phone in 30 minutes or lose his job."
This attitude somehow doesn't surprise me. It's like they think EVERYONE wants a cel-phone and that their employees just aren't pushing them hard enough. I don't know how you can fault an employee for it, I mean, a good 80% of the population has a cel now anyway, do they need 2?
Same with the cars and stuff they always push on you at the checkouts. I don't need any more credit cards thank you.
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For some reason, people think I'm really friendly whenever I enter the mall. I was talked to by four different people. You know my problem with people talking to me. And it wasn't even worth saying. Mostly, "It's a madhouse in there," or, "My daughter really likes these
Reply
Reply
and if you think you have a hard time shopping for clothes... try finding nice, professional clothing that you don't swim in. i've yet to find a good store that sells clothing that fits on a regular basis, and isn't obscenely expensive or that makes me look like i'm trying to sell myself on the street.
as far as the kiosk people, i try not to catch their eye. you're right, they never look happy, but when it comes to those who attack you, they seem creepily cheerful. they amuse me immensely, but i still keep my distance.
"make-up caked trolls... twist till something came loose." wow. simply wow. (i can't say i didn't giggle though).
Reply
I was in Victoria's Secret once and these two 13 yr old suburbanite prima donnas walked in and just started gushing over all of the scandalous undergarments. I was all ._0
What is a 13 yr old going to do with stuff they get at VS? They looked like 13 yr old versions of Victoria Beckham. Depressing.
Reply
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