what is happening?
saying goodbye to the people, the places that have been my life.
holding so tightly in my arms people who i wish i never had to let go of.
fighting against the realization that everything has changed.
and home is a concept instead of a place.

We talked every day for hours.
Now I'm lucky if I can keep you on the phone for five minutes.
What has changed?
And what will happen when I leave?
You say you're so scared of me leaving. Then when are you pushing me away already?
I'm not gone yet. I'm not gone.
So why aren't you with me?
I'm so scared to leave.  imsosososcaredtoleave.  
Please don't ( Read more... )

i'm reaching for the phone

to call at 7:03

and on your machine i slur a plea

for you to come home

but i know it's too late,

and i should have given you a reason to stay

These past few weeks have been a journey of self-discovery.  And of others discovering me for the first time ( Read more... )

In less than an hour, I will be in my dentist's office waiting to my wisdom teeth pulled out of my mouth.

This is going to be interesting.

"So I loved you for your courage
And your gentle sense of shame,
And I loved you for your laughter
And your language and your name.
And i knew it was impossible
But I loved you just the same.
Though the only love I gave to you was hard love.
....
Yes, it's hard love,
But it's love all the same:
Not the stuff of fantasy,
But more than just a game,
And the only ( Read more... )

your name is pounding through my veins.

my newly beginning life will be waiting to greet me at the end of the football field today, in the arms of loving friends, in tearful goodbyes.
the end is here.
the end and the beginning.
i am so scared to say goodbye.

At times I wonder who I am.  Who this person is with whom I have become so intimately acquainted?
I think of myself as complex, but maybe that is simply my way of saying that I dont understand myself.
Some days, I am in love with the world.  Everyone is amazing and beautiful.
Some days, I can stand no one but the handful of people who know me inside ( Read more... )

defense is paper thin
just one touch 
and id be in too deep now
to ever swim
against the current
so letmeslipaway
let me slip away
let me slip away
let me slip against the current
let me slip away