just_1_word | 14.10. Ruin
14.10. Ruin
[Follows THIS and THIS]
Jason really tried to ignore Erin’s presence as he said goodbye to JC at the door. He rose up to meet her in a kiss and caught her hand to squeeze it softly. “I’ll call you, okay?” he promised with a smile. “Thanks for yesterday. I really enjoyed it.”
JC smiled, stooping to steal another brief kiss. She adjusted the strap of her bag over her shoulder as she straightened again, glancing at Erin who was standing up the hall clutching the baby capsule. But that’s all it was; a mere glance and nothing more. After their picnic the previous day, she had inevitably spent the night at Jason’s place. Now Monday morning and before she had a chance to leave, there was a knock at the door that had interrupted their morning plans. Jason had been more than apologetic, but she understood. She only hoped the woman standing a few paces away wasn’t about to break Jason’s heart. “I’ll see you real soon, love. Call me anytime.” She swept her fingers through his hair and then turned to leave, pausing half way up the path to blow him a kiss before heading towards her car.
Jason closed the door and wheeled around to face Erin. The look on his face was anything but inviting. “I was doubting the fact you would even show up,” he told her evenly.
Erin sucked on the corner of her lip momentarily. “I didn’t realise you were seeing anyone,” she couldn’t help but comment, tightening her grip on Noah’s capsule.
“Hnh, funny that,” Jason returned wheeling himself past her to get into the living room. “I didn’t realise you were seeing anyone either, but happy families in Connecticut was obviously on the menu. Can I hold my son?”
Erin just cleared her throat and frowned at him. “Jason, I…” she began and then started to cry.
Jason felt his stomach turn over abruptly. He shook his head, his tongue coming out to wet his lips so he didn’t react like he wanted to and start yelling at her. “Alright, Erin, what the hell is going on? Why are you keeping Noah from me?” he demanded, hand gripping at wheel of his chair.
“I didn’t know how to tell you!” Erin sobbed. “You love him so much and all this…” She waved her hand around helplessly. “You did it all for him and me. I really thought it would be okay and at first I really did think it was true, but every day he’s changing and… and…” She shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Jason stared at her, frozen. “What are you trying to say?” he asked hoarsely, uncertain it was even his voice at first. His pulse was throbbing in his ears and his eyes dipped to look at the baby. He gave the slightest disjointed shake of his head. “No…” he whispered.
“Noah’s not your’s, Jason,” Erin choked out brokenly. “I thought he was. I hoped he was when I realised how desperately you wanted him. You were so hopeful and so positive. You wanted it so badly and it was like your whole world depended on it! I knew you would be a great dad and I thought I could pull it off, but you weren’t the only one I slept with at that time! I so wanted him to be yours. At first, I really thought he was, but he looks like… I-I had a test. I couldn’t live with the guilt and couldn’t expect you to keep doing all this if he wasn’t your’s. I-I’m so, so sorry,” she ended with a breathless and catching sob.
Jason couldn’t process it at first. It was actually a miracle he didn’t throw up in shock because his stomach was certainly trying to threaten it the way it felt like his heart and lungs were suddenly lodged up in his throat. He remembered how he felt when he was told he would never walk again and that didn’t even touch this. There was no ‘Emotions for Dummies’ guidebook on how he should react to this because every single emotion within him was battling for dominance and doing nothing but freeze him in shock. “Please…” he whispered hoarsely. “Please tell me you’re joking,” he pleaded, tears already welling to his eyes.
“I would give anything to say I was, Jason. You are amazing and I have spent the last four months hoping to God my suspicions weren’t true and you were Noah’s father, but I…” Erin just shook her head, words failing her.
As much as he wanted to stop it, Jason felt like his whole world was teetering on the edge and about to come crashing down around him again. Noah wasn’t his. He hadn’t fathered a baby. There had been no miracle. He hadn’t done the almost impossible and conceived a child. He looked at her, wanting to say something… anything… but there was a stunned, black hole in his mind. Before he had a chance to say anything to her, he did the only thing his heart would let him do at that moment.
He burst into tears.
JC is taste4freedom and used with permission
Word Count | 860
[Follows THIS and THIS]
Jason really tried to ignore Erin’s presence as he said goodbye to JC at the door. He rose up to meet her in a kiss and caught her hand to squeeze it softly. “I’ll call you, okay?” he promised with a smile. “Thanks for yesterday. I really enjoyed it.”
JC smiled, stooping to steal another brief kiss. She adjusted the strap of her bag over her shoulder as she straightened again, glancing at Erin who was standing up the hall clutching the baby capsule. But that’s all it was; a mere glance and nothing more. After their picnic the previous day, she had inevitably spent the night at Jason’s place. Now Monday morning and before she had a chance to leave, there was a knock at the door that had interrupted their morning plans. Jason had been more than apologetic, but she understood. She only hoped the woman standing a few paces away wasn’t about to break Jason’s heart. “I’ll see you real soon, love. Call me anytime.” She swept her fingers through his hair and then turned to leave, pausing half way up the path to blow him a kiss before heading towards her car.
Jason closed the door and wheeled around to face Erin. The look on his face was anything but inviting. “I was doubting the fact you would even show up,” he told her evenly.
Erin sucked on the corner of her lip momentarily. “I didn’t realise you were seeing anyone,” she couldn’t help but comment, tightening her grip on Noah’s capsule.
“Hnh, funny that,” Jason returned wheeling himself past her to get into the living room. “I didn’t realise you were seeing anyone either, but happy families in Connecticut was obviously on the menu. Can I hold my son?”
Erin just cleared her throat and frowned at him. “Jason, I…” she began and then started to cry.
Jason felt his stomach turn over abruptly. He shook his head, his tongue coming out to wet his lips so he didn’t react like he wanted to and start yelling at her. “Alright, Erin, what the hell is going on? Why are you keeping Noah from me?” he demanded, hand gripping at wheel of his chair.
“I didn’t know how to tell you!” Erin sobbed. “You love him so much and all this…” She waved her hand around helplessly. “You did it all for him and me. I really thought it would be okay and at first I really did think it was true, but every day he’s changing and… and…” She shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Jason stared at her, frozen. “What are you trying to say?” he asked hoarsely, uncertain it was even his voice at first. His pulse was throbbing in his ears and his eyes dipped to look at the baby. He gave the slightest disjointed shake of his head. “No…” he whispered.
“Noah’s not your’s, Jason,” Erin choked out brokenly. “I thought he was. I hoped he was when I realised how desperately you wanted him. You were so hopeful and so positive. You wanted it so badly and it was like your whole world depended on it! I knew you would be a great dad and I thought I could pull it off, but you weren’t the only one I slept with at that time! I so wanted him to be yours. At first, I really thought he was, but he looks like… I-I had a test. I couldn’t live with the guilt and couldn’t expect you to keep doing all this if he wasn’t your’s. I-I’m so, so sorry,” she ended with a breathless and catching sob.
Jason couldn’t process it at first. It was actually a miracle he didn’t throw up in shock because his stomach was certainly trying to threaten it the way it felt like his heart and lungs were suddenly lodged up in his throat. He remembered how he felt when he was told he would never walk again and that didn’t even touch this. There was no ‘Emotions for Dummies’ guidebook on how he should react to this because every single emotion within him was battling for dominance and doing nothing but freeze him in shock. “Please…” he whispered hoarsely. “Please tell me you’re joking,” he pleaded, tears already welling to his eyes.
“I would give anything to say I was, Jason. You are amazing and I have spent the last four months hoping to God my suspicions weren’t true and you were Noah’s father, but I…” Erin just shook her head, words failing her.
As much as he wanted to stop it, Jason felt like his whole world was teetering on the edge and about to come crashing down around him again. Noah wasn’t his. He hadn’t fathered a baby. There had been no miracle. He hadn’t done the almost impossible and conceived a child. He looked at her, wanting to say something… anything… but there was a stunned, black hole in his mind. Before he had a chance to say anything to her, he did the only thing his heart would let him do at that moment.
He burst into tears.
JC is taste4freedom and used with permission
Word Count | 860