lots on my mind. so much confusion. so much pain. weird emotions on this desperate night. cant even express these feelings. wish i could just explain myself. dont know what she see's in me. why would she want to become involved with someone like me? why would she want to be part of this lifestyle. this lifestyle is killing me... slowly. to weak for ( Read more... )

hhhmmmmm still much confusion. the search for a wifey has been extremly succesful so far to my surprise. makes me think how much better it could be if i were a little bit more well presentable. still long way to go in the wifey search but things are goen very well.

so much confusion on these lonely nights. desperate times. these drugs have taken hold of me. cant go on much longer like this. not sure how i should feel? disapointed? disgusted? let down? or no wait maybe happy and relieved. i have been set free. there is no use in trying to make her what shes not. but should i just give up so easy? why this pain ( Read more... )

fuck fuck i hate this feeling of hate. this horrible anger. i wanna kill. i wanna hurt other people. for what theyve done to me. i wanna make them feel like i do right now. im starting to get worried. its getting bad. fuck you.

fuck man i dont know how to deal wirth these feelings of like this rage and shit. theres two women on this earth that i care about so much its crazy. those two women are also the ones that cause me the most pain and frustration. what nakes me upset is that for so reason i just feel so protective over them. i mean my mom its like shes my mom but she ( Read more... )

still alive and kicken! atleast that somethen to be happy about. the wifey dont want none... i dont know what else to do but give up. gotta lil crush on a nice, drug free, responsible girl with a car. and things are goen extremly well so far. so we'll see how that goes. very exciting. going to call her later. hhhmmmmm hope it goes well. another ( Read more... )

bbbaaaard thef fuckk outg my nigaaghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! drunk drubnk drunk drunk!!!?!!!!!!!!! highhhh toooo!!!!!!@!@!!!! mad fucjked up @!@@@!!!!!!!!

usaully i refrain from writing about most my daily activitys in here because well id rather everyone not know. but its gotten to a point where everyone is already aware that im a grimy ass piece of drug feinding white thrash. so fuck it. lol last night peddy king swings through at around 12 to pick me up as usaul for are daily drug abuse. but last ( Read more... )

As a young teen I started with marijuana ( Read more... )

hhhmmmmm where to begin... lifes really been exciting lately but not sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing. all my best freinds seem to be a thing of the past. seems like everyone decided the get there shit toghether sept me. ooohhhhhhh well things change i guess. as for michelle lol. thats a thing of the past as well. another one of my ( Read more... )