not afraid to fall [chapter 15]
Title: not afraid to fall [chapter 15]
Author: ivoryroyale
Genre: supernatural, drama, romance, friendship, hurt
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: language
Summary: in which a group of six aren't afraid to stand tall because they have each other.
Note: 5,584 words. Unbeta-ed. DaeJong everywhere in this chapter. \o/ And my internet works!!! Finally!
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[prologue] [chapter 1] [chapter 2] [chapter 3] [chapter 4] [chapter 5] [chapter 6] [ chapter 7] [chapter 8] [ chapter 9] [chapter 10] [chapter 11] [ chapter 12] [chapter 13] [chapter 14] [ chapter 15] [ chapter 16] [ chapter 17] [ chapter 18] [ chapter 19] [ chapter 20]
not afraid to fall
chapter fifteen
Laughing is a strange and whole new concept to Daehyun.
He's always thought that laughter was voluntary, something he would be able to control when he finally managed to do it somehow, and he always thought it would be something-he doesn't really know exactly-something strange? Something abnormal?
But no, laughter is something way different than abnormal. It bubbles from the pit of his stomach and up his throat, and it's something so natural-so real-that Daehyun almost forgets how to breathe. He feels a bout of euphoria crawling out of his skin, and he's happy for the first time in a while and it's probably the greatest feeling he's encountered since the moment he moved in with Yongguk. And he's smiling-he can feel it on his lips and he can hear Jongup pointing it out and he can see one, bright and gorgeous lighting up Youngjae's face.
And-and Daehyun's smiling.
It's like he's learning how to live again, head first with the training wheels off, and he loves it.
"Oh my God," Daehyun gasps, clutching at his stomach helplessly, struggling to breathe through violent giggles. "I-can't-breathe." He rolls over onto his back, trying to remember how to breathe properly again. Is he supposed to take deep breaths after laughing for so long? Does he breathe in or out first? What- "Youngjae-" He yelps, hoping the genius'll know something that will let him breathe again. Fresh tears spring out of the corners of his eyes, and a slight flush dusts across his face from laughing so hard for too long. What Youngjae said wasn't that funny, but it's like all of his laughter, built up from the past where he couldn't even smile, refuses to stop.
Daehyun tries to pry open his eyes that keep trying to close (Are you suppose to lose control of all your body parts when you laugh or what, because Daehyun's body won't seem to listen to him.) to see Youngjae. The brunette leans over him, waiting expectantly, giggles subsiding long enough to hear what Daehyun wants to say. "How-how do I st-" How do I stop?!
Instead of helping, Youngjae only laughs more, collapsing yet again onto the bed, over Jongup. "You seriously don't know how to stop?" The genius chokes out, and Daehyun, in a panic, shakes his head frantically, hoping Youngjae would somehow stop laughing and help him for God's sake he's dying here.
"Why would you want to stop?" Jongup asks earnestly, grin large on his face.
Daehyun thinks, oh, I don't know, I kind of want to breathe, thank you, but isn't angry at the younger because his laughter seems to be subsiding, turning into tiny peels of giggles.
Jongup pouts, just a bit at the sight before there's a sudden evil glint in his eyes. The rest of the laughter that Daehyun felt previously drains away and he stares in slight horror as Jongup grins a little bit wider than before.
Daehyun feels rather than sees Jongup's hands ghosting across his sides and-
Another bout of laughter rips itself away from Daehyun's mouth as Jongup's hands dance their way along Daehyun's abdomen, tickling at his sides, and forcing unwanted laughter to bubble up his throat. Daehyun tries to thrash out of Jongup's grasp, twisting and turning helplessly.
A laugh-yelp escapes Daehyun's mouth and he reaches out to where Youngjae is, silently begging the genius to save him.
"Jong-" Daehyun tries to say, tries to sound commanding, but the smile on his face makes him seem anything but threatening. "S-stop." He gasps.
And Jongup freezes then, following Daehyun's order because of the manipulation accidentally lacing Daehyun's vocals at his lack of control. The blonde can still feel Jongup's hands loosely at his sides, fingertips grazing his t-shirt, and Daehyun's laughter dies down too, too shocked at the proximity of how close the boy is-brown pools of glimmering eyes staring him down, mouth set in a blank line, hair slightly tickling Daehyun's face. From this close, Daehyun can count the number of eyelashes around Jongup's eyes, can see how wide his usually sharp eyes are, can see how chapped his lips are, slightly opened and pouting at being stopped-
Daehyun stares a little while longer, breath catching in his throat.
On pure instinct, he finds himself leaning forward-
And Jongup splutters, cheeks flooding with a red hue, and as quickly as Jongup leaned forward, tickling Daehyun, he jumps back, successfully throwing himself off the bed and onto the ground.
His skull collides with the floor with a loud thump and Jongup lets out a short hiss from where he is, head on the ground and feet in the air at the edge of the bed, and Youngjae practically jumps from his spot to see if he's alright. Daehyun pushes himself up from the bed a second later, feeling lightheaded and dizzy and confused.
(What was he just trying to do just then?)
"Are you okay?" Youngjae asks, hands ghosting over Jongup's head to make sure he didn't injure himself too badly, but Daehyun can see he's trying his hardest not to laugh at the younger boy's blunder.
Daehyun looks down, apology on the tip of his tongue, honest concern glinting in his eyes as he watches Youngjae offering a hand to Jongup. "I'm sorry. You okay?" He asks, repeating Youngjae's words, just to be sure the younger was absolutely alright.
The younger boy quickly snaps out of whatever pain he was in before, whipping his head toward Daehyun, appearing unharmed, a shocked squeak escaping his mouth instead of an actual answer to Daehyun's question. "Sorry!" He stammers, biting at his lip. "I didn't mean to-be that close, um, I," Jongup braves a look up at Daehyun, and the blonde feels a slight stutter in his chest when Jongup can't look him in the eyes.
"It's okay," Daehyun quickly interjects, and Jongup suddenly can look him in the eyes again. "I-" Daehyun starts, and Jongup and Youngjae stare up at him, eyebrows a bit drawn together in concentration and eyes the slightest bit glazed over, waiting for Daehyun to say more-waiting for a command. Daehyun recognizes the symptoms of his ability.
With an annoyed groan, Daehyun runs his hands through his hair and grabs his post-its. I'm sorry. He writes. That was my fault. He makes a show of pouting his lips and bowing his head, and he's delighted when one of them giggles at him. I need to be more careful. He jots down, writing it as an afterthought, letting Jongup and Youngjae harmlessly read over the words. He means much more than his mere ability though.
He's been too reckless, too careless.
Way too careless, he thinks, grip on his pen loosening at the sight of Jongup's eyes softening, posture relaxing, the red on his face dying into a pink so light Daehyun can't even see it anymore.
He promised himself before all this he wouldn't fall in too deep. That he wouldn't be as careless as before. But Daehyun can feel that promise fading, deteriorating with each day he spends here.
"So, that means you're okay, right?" Youngjae asks after a moments of silence engulfs the room. The genius seems strangely unhinged to Daehyun, by the way his smile fades and the way his eyes dart around the room as if searching for something. He seems to want to rid himself of the silence way too quickly and it causes some suspicion to spike up in the back of Daehyun's neck and spine, settling deep in the pit of his stomach. Something's wrong with him, his instincts say-instincts honed to tack any irregularity because in his life the only thing he knew was agenda-organization-the regularities and irregularities of a soldier's work and how they did it. And right now, he knows, with the little time he's known him, that Youngjae's acting abnormal-panicked. Scared of the quiet.
Why, Daehyun doesn't really know, but he's pretty sure he's right.
With a nod, Jongup scratches at his injured head, and Youngjae chuckles good-naturedly, ruffling the younger boy's hair playfully. "Someone needs to be more careful." The brunette teases. "What were you even doing anyway? All you were doing was tickling Daehyun. Why'd you roll backwards off the bed?"
Daehyun watches Youngjae and Jongup carefully, waiting for Jongup's reply. Waiting for the boy to tell Youngjae, tell him that Daehyun just tried to-
"Um," Jongup says abruptly, and Daehyun eyes ghost over Jongup's briefly before the younger boy coughs, a smile suddenly on his face again. "I was backwards somersaulting," He states, looking utterly serious.
Youngjae stares. Daehyun blinks. He isn't sure whether to laugh or not.
"Backwards somersaulting?" Youngjae asks slowly.
Jongup nods as if that's explanation enough. "Yes."
Youngjae chuckles, albeit nervously in Daehyun's eyes. "Um, why?"
"Because I was so happy Daehyunnie hyung laughed for the first time." Jongup doesn't even bat an eyelash, face the equivalent to an expert poker player. He answers the question quickly, easily, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
If Daehyun didn't know any better, he would think Jongup was actually telling the truth. He was happy before, that's for sure, but the only reason he tumbled off the bed was because Daehyun almost-
"Well," Jongup exclaims, still laying vertical on the side of the bed, performing another somersault so that he lands perfectly on his feet. Daehyun and Youngjae stare at him in wonder. "I'm going to go downstairs."
Before Daehyun or even Youngjae can ask why, Jongup is smiling prettily and frolicking his way out of the room. "Bye you guys!"
The door to Jongup's room slams shut, and Daehyun and Youngjae are left alone.
Daehyun is silent, letting his head drop onto the bed.
He feels stupid.
(Why did he even do that?)
"Well, he was lying," Youngjae states, as if it weren't obvious enough. (Then again, it probably wasn't supposed to be. The only reason Daehyun knows is because he had been the one that just tried to-to kiss Jongup.
Why-)
"I don't know why he's lying, but he is."
There's another moment of short silence until Youngjae turns, looking at Daehyun just as he lifts his head from the pillow. Their eyes catch and Youngjae pushes himself off the bed, a sudden smile on his face. "Well," The genius exclaims, standing up from the ground. "Whatever it is-it's Jongup, so we don't really need to worry all that much,"
Daehyun isn't really pleased with that explanation because Jongup is probably going to hate him forever, why did he have to be so stupid. "For now, how about we try and do a little decorating to your room?"
Momentarily, Daehyun forgets about Jongup, and he remembers the shopping trip that couldn't have happened all too long ago, but what felt like happened months ago. He remembers how much fun that was-how many trinkets and toys, how many clothes and furniture, how many people and how much color and how much livelier it was than, quite frankly, everything Daehyun's ever witnessed in his life.
He remembers how much fun he had, walking around the different stores with Youngjae, getting lost in the different colors. He remembers the pearl drinks and the music that Youngjae showed him and scaring the younger everytime he wondered away too far.
(It wouldn't hurt to forget, would it?)
"Sounds like fun," Daehyun utters honestly, and Youngjae smiles.
Jongup doesn't exactly know why he goes downstairs of all places.
Quite honestly, he just wanted an excuse-needed an excuse-anything to get away from Daehyun and Youngjae and the embarrassment and the confusion and the way his heart just seems to hammer in his chest and is he crazy, or did Daehyun just try to kiss him?
Jongup might not be the sharpest tack in the toolbox, but he's pretty damn sure friends don't just go around trying to kiss each other.
And he's relatively sure they aren't supposed to want to kiss each other.
(That's right, right? Jongup isn't supposed to want to kiss Daehyun.)
He's supposed to be freaked out, right? He's supposed to want to be as far away from Daehyun as possible.
Himchan told him that before-he's sure of it-that if anyone so much as tried anything like that, he was supposed to kick them as hard as he could in between the legs and that he didn't care if he kicked them hard enough to send them flying. If someone gets too close for comfort, he was supposed to run, kicking and screaming, and never look back.
(But Jongup doesn't want to run from Daehyun. Daehyun's nice and he's easy to talk to and he isn't scary and he has the greatest smile and laugh in the world and-and-
And what if he wants to kiss Daehyun?
There's that stutter-that twitch in his chest again-and Jongup realizes.
Realizes that holy crap, he wants to kiss Daehyun.)
Well, what the hell is he supposed to do now then?
Stomping into the kitchen, Jongup thinks he's going to just sort of eat away his troubles and forget about it.
It wouldn't hurt to forget, would it?
"Jongup?" The brunette freezes in the kitchen doorway, ears perking up at the sound of-
"Himchannie hyung?" Jongup asks, the smile growing on his lips a sudden involuntary action. And as luck would have it, there the shield maker was, sitting at the kitchen table with Yongguk sitting across from him, empty plates set in front of them with crumbs littering the glass. Jongup pauses a second to think. Himchan was locked up inside his room this morning, so if he was outside of it now, that must mean- "Yongguk hyung and you got back together?" He asks excitedly, hopping his way further into the kitchen.
Yongguk chuckles and all Himchan can do is stare. "Um. Yeah, but can you... maybe not make it sound like we're a couple that broke up?"
Jongup blinks. "Yongguk hyung and you made up?" He offers, grinning goofily.
This time, Himchan chuckles along with Yongguk. "Better." The second oldest says with a smile. "And yeah, we made up."
"I told you you had nothing to worry about, Jongup," Yongguk sighs, standing up from his spot on the table to walk over and swipe up Himchan's plate along with his, making his way to the sink to drop off the dishes carelessly. When Yongguk turns around from the sink, he gives Jongup a very stern looking half glare that makes Jongup want laugh more than sink into the ground in fear like it's probably supposed to.
"Sorry," Jongup apologizes, taking a seat at the kitchen table with Himchan, sitting in the chair right next to the older man. Leaning back in his chair, Jongup stares long at Himchan. For some reason, instead of a day, it feels like years since he's gotten a good look at the man. To be quite accurate, Jongup probably hasn't even talked to the man since... one... two... five days.
They've been a little too busy lately to actually find the proper time.
Upon further examination, Jongup sees dry tear tracks staining Himchan's cheeks. With a soft gasp, Jongup leans forward in his chair, hands involuntarily shooting out to rub at the man's cheeks. "You've been crying?" Jongup asks gently, worry flooding through his veins.
Himchan's eyes widen just a bit, avoiding Jongup's eyes before rubbing harshly at his cheeks. "Oh, yeah," The brunette chuckles. "I was just a bit upset. You don't have to worry."
Jongup purses his lips, eyes never leaving Himchan's face.
With another chuckle and a coo that Jongup can't tell is real or not, Himchan ruffles his hair affectionately. "You're so cute. Worrying about little 'ole me," Himchan smiles, batting his eyelashes sillily, and Jongup can't help but crack a smile of his own too, pushing Himchan's hands away from him playfully.
He hears Yongguk snort as he takes his seat again, across from Himchan. "God, never bat your eyes again. You look so creepy," Yongguk points out, and Himchan frowns, sticking his tongue out childishly at the man.
"You're just jealous 'cause I'm prettier than you," Himchan jokes, throwing his hands over Jongup with exclamations about how Yongguk is so mean and he should be nicer to his best friend or he won't cook for him ever again for as long as he lives (Yongguk quickly apologizes upon hearing this. Himchan might not be the best cook in the world, but everybody else here sure as hell can't cook as good as him, and he'd rather not starve to death.)
"Oh, right, speaking of food," Himchan says suddenly, the hands looped around Jongup's shoulders slackening as the older man adjusts his head to look Jongup in the eyes. "Why'd you come down here? Are you hungry or something, because you sounded like you were having too much fun up there to want to come downstairs-" He stops suddenly, scrunching up his face with a click of his tongue. "Well, Daehyun was having fun up there at least. I didn't really recognize the laugh, so I'm guessing it was him."
Jongup's face flames again at being reminded of Daehyun: Daehyun and his laugh and the way that his eyes scrunch up when he laughs and the way his lips-"Wait a second," Himchan says, interrupting Jongup's thoughts. "You're blushing."
"No, I'm not," Jongup says quickly, trying to will away the blush he knows is on his face away. He will not make a big deal out of this. He refuses. Daehyun probably just saw something on his face. Yeah, that's it. He saw something on his face. And he was just trying to pick it off...
By using his lips.
Yep.
"Nope, you're blushing," Himchan concludes, turning toward Yongguk. "Right, Guk?"
Yongguk leans back in his chair, arms crossed, looking entirely too pleased with a smirk on his face. "Oh, he's blushing alright."
Jongup scoffs. Why the hell won't this fucking blush go away?
"Why are you blushing?" Himchan interrogates, poking at Jongup's cheek. "It has something to do with what happened upstairs, huh?" He guesses-a fox-like grin on his face.
"For the last time, I'm not blushing!" Jongup reiterates, stomping his foot lightly in frustration. It's not so lightly, apparently, because it sends Jongup's foot crashing through the kitchen tile, ceramic panels bending easily at the weight of Jongup's foot.
The three of them stare, silent, down at the splintered and cracked flooring.
Yongguk's jaw drops. Himchan whistles.
"Someone's not keeping a hold on their powers," Himchan sings. Jongup's blush deepens.
They're silent for a moment before Yongguk asks, calmly-eyes still trained on the broken floor. "So, what happened? And don't say nothing, because you haven't lost control over your ability in forever," The pyrokinetic warns, looking Jongup dead in the eye when the boy tries to open his mouth to explain.
"Um, Daehyunnie hyung laughed for the first time," Jongup murmurs.
Himchan and Yongguk nod. "We heard him,"
"And I started to play around with him because I didn't want him to stop laughing and-and he told me to stop and that's it." Jongup says in a rush, balling his hands into fists, staring determinedly at the ground.
The part about Daehyun almost kissing him wasn't that important.
"That's it?" Himchan asks, narrowing his eyes at Jongup. Jongup doesn't meet his gaze. "That's the reason you were blushing?" Jongup nods.
"So you guys didn't-oh, I don't know-accidentally kiss?"
Jongup splutters and makes another hole in the tile.
Yongguk's eyes go wider than Jongup's ever seen them.
"We didn't kiss! He just got really close to my mouth, I swear we didn't kiss, hyung." Jongup pleads, and his voice squeaks in the most embarrassing of ways.
There's another pause.
"How did you know to guess that?" Yongguk asks, looking a bit stunned.
"I watch a lot of dramas. Accidental kisses happen all the time." Himchan states matter-o-factly before turning to Jongup again, slipping his arms off Jongup's shoulder. "Anyway, that's why you were blushing, right? You and Daehyun almost kissed?"
Jongup has to swallow down whatever keyboard smash that's threatening to escape his vocals before he can answer. "Um, maybe?"
Himchan pauses for another minute, holding a thoughtful hand to his chin. "When it happened, you were really embarrassed, right?"
Jongup is confused a second before he nods hesitantly.
"And was your heart beating really fast?"
With wide eyes, Jongup gives another nod.
"And, let me guess, you can't stop thinking about Daehyun now."
Jongup's jaw drops.
"Hyung, are you telepathic?"
Himchan laughs, ruffling Jongup's hair affectionately again. "No, but I can just tell." Coughing, Himchan takes a glance at Yongguk, keeping his eyes on him for a mere second before smiling at Jongup. "You sound like you have a little crush on Daehyun." Himchan says simply, telling Jongup exactly the reason why he was feeling this way.
"A crush?" Jongup asks, eyebrows furrowing together, another blush dusting over his cheeks. "No-no, I don't-" The boy tries to deny, waving his hands in front of his face.
Himchan gives him a look that makes him stop.
Jongup sighs. "Well, then, assuming I do have a crush on Daehyun, what am I supposed to do about it?"
Himchan opens his mouth, a small scoff leaving it in a huff. His eyes travel toward Yongguk again. "I honestly don't know," The older man trails off, eyes still looking at Yongguk. "Maybe you should just tell him?"
Jongup's heart nearly stops in his chest and his face pales. "Tell him?" His eyes widen. "I can't just tell him!" He exclaims, voice getting higher in pitch. "What if he doesn't like me back?" He asks nervously, wringing his hands together.
"I honestly don't know," Himchan says again, sighing. Ruffling Jongup's hair again, he smiles encouragingly. "But you know, it's up to you: you can either sit around waiting, wondering what would happen, or you can follow my advice."
With a deep breath, Jongup gives Himchan a huge, nervous smile. He starts to build up enough courage to stand up from the kitchen table and run up the stairs to tell Daehyun.
Tell him that he likes him.
Like likes him.
Jongup feels his heart catch in his throat.
He looks down, looks at Himchan's smile again, and breathes in another courageous breath. "Okay. I'm going to go tell him." Jongup announces shakily, carefully making his way out of the kitchen with his eyes still trained on Himchan.
The shield maker gives him a thumbs up before he's marching up the stairs, repeating over and over under his breath that he can do this. He can do this.
He can totally do this.
"Are you sure this is okay?" Yongguk asks, watching Jongup as he ascends the stairs. "What if Jongup gets his heart broken? He's going to have to deal with seeing Daehyun everyday."
Himchan leans back in his chair. "Oh, it's going to be okay. I'm pretty sure they like each other." Himchan states. "They'll be fine; we don't have to worry." Himchan smiles. "Besides, this household could use a little puppy love after what happened. And I'm pretty sure this is the first time one of the kids has ever tried talking to us about this kind of thing too." Himchan points out, trying to convince Yongguk that this was a good thing-this was healthy.
Sighing, Yongguk stares as long as possible at the stairs, and Himchan almost smiles at the look on his face. He looks like a father, giving away his daughter to get married.
He wonders what would happen if Junhong ever found himself a girlfriend.
They both would probably have a cow.
With another sigh, Yongguk leans forward onto the table, elbows digging into the wood. "Since when did you become such a love expert anyway?" His best friend asks, gummy grin on his face, tone teasing. "You knew all the 'love symptoms'." Yongguk puts air quotes around the words 'love symptoms'.
Himchan stares at him, biting at his lower lip. Since I figured out that I'm in love with you, he wants to say-heart beating fast and head telling him to tell him.
Instead, Himchan shrugs, ignoring his heart and his head completely. "I watch a lot of dramas." He leans further into his chair, pulling at his shirt collar coolly. "Plus, I got plenty of girlfriends in my lifetime."
"Please," Yongguk scoffs. "At what time?"
"Highschool." Himchan answers easily, looking mock offended. "Girls were falling all over me."
"That's not how I remember it,"
"Well, you're obviously delusional."
"And you obviously forgot Jaebeom hyung was the one who got all the girls. Not you."
Himchan makes a face. "Jealousy is not a pretty color on you, Yongguk."
Yongguk snorts.
"If you go up those stairs and go to the first door on your right, you should find a whole room full of supplies," Youngjae instructs, pointing down the hall once they leave Jongup's room. "There should be a whole bunch of paint brushes and paint pans and a huge blanket lying around somewhere in there. Get those and I'll meet you in your room, 'kay? I'll get the paint," The blonde nods, following Youngjae's exact orders, making his way down the hallway and up the stairs.
With a smile, Youngjae heads in the opposite direction, downstairs, when he can't see Daehyun anymore.
He doesn't exactly know why, but he feels unusually giddy. For some reason, just the thought of painting a room with Daehyun seems abnormally fun to him.
He takes the steps two at a time, and once downstairs, Youngjae finds the paint, along with all the other things Daehyun and him bought, where they left them, before the whole Junhong ordeal happened. Whistling a tune, Youngjae rummages through the shopping bags, making his way to the paint cans when he hears Himchan, Yongguk, and Jongup talking in the kitchen.
With a can of fluorescent blue and red in one hand and green and yellow in another, he hears Himchan say, "Anyway, that's why you were blushing, right? You and Daehyun almost kissed?" and Youngjae freezes, hands on the paint can handles tightening ever so slightly.
What?
Youngjae swallows, his gut twisting as he edges his way over to the wall leading to the kitchen. Silently, he listens, curiosity getting the better than him. "Um, maybe?"
He probably should go, but his head is telling him otherwise. It's telling him to listen. Listen to them. They could be talking about you. They could be saying something you need to know.
Youngjae is about to tell his brain, tell his ability, that that can't be true. They're talking about Daehyun, talking about Jongup.
Talking about them together.
Youngjae swallows down the pain again. "When it happened, you were really embarrassed, right?"
Himchan, Youngjae recognizes. "And was your heart beating really fast?"
With furrowed eyes, Youngjae relates his own heart, beating fast whenever he's around Daehyun, to the question. The way it stutters, the way it hammers, the way it soars when he's around him.
Yes, he answers quietly. What does it mean though?
"And, let me guess, you can't stop thinking about Daehyun now."
Yes.
Youngjae can never stop. Not since the shopping trip. Not since he saw those shining eyes and heard that sweet voice.
"You sound like you have a little crush on Daehyun." Himchan points out and Youngjae's heart stops.
A crush?
Within a minute, Youngjae's ability is already defining the word for him. (Crush. [kruhsh]. noun - a burning desire to be with someone who you find extremely special.)
Is that what he has? Is that why Youngjae can't think straight around Daehyun?
A crush?
From inside the kitchen, Youngjae can hear Jongup moving, and before the younger can even see him, he's bolting as fast as he can up the stairs.
Youngjae makes it into Daehyun's room, out of breath and leaning against the door with the paint held tight in his hands, the moment Jongup takes his first step on the stairs.
"Hey," Daehyun says, and Youngjae startles a bit, nearly dropping the paint cans onto the ground in a puddle of fluorescent hues. The blonde looks up at him from his spot on the ground of his bedroom, a large blanket spread across the carpet floor along with paint brushes and paint trays scattered around him.
Youngjae's heart stops.
(He has a crush on Daehyun.)
"You okay?"
(He has a crush on Daehyun.)
"Yeah," Youngjae answers easily, forcing a smile and making his way over to Daehyun. He drops the paint cans in front of Daehyun with another fake laugh. "Just-" He bites his lip, staring as Daehyun looks back at him, eyes shiny with worry (God, Youngjae loves his eyes.) "The-the paint cans were really heavy." Youngjae lies.
Daehyun snorts, holding up one of his post-its. No wonder you took so long. I was practically rotting away up here.
Youngjae smiles (a real smile this time). Daehyun's changed a bit since the last time they hung out. He seems more open, more inclined to joke.
(It's a fresh change, really.
Especially after Junhong-)
"You're a real brat, aren't you?" Youngjae asks cheekily, opening up the lids to the paint cans as he does so, a pungent sort of toxic smell wafting through the room that makes the blonde nearly gag. (Youngjae laughs.)
Coughing, a hand over his nose and mouth, Daehyun narrows his eyes at Youngjae. Look who's talking. He retorts. You know, I'm your hyung; shouldn't you show me some respect?
"Technically, you're not," Youngjae points out. "I don't really need to call you hyung; I'm just that respectful."
Too kind. Really. Daehyun snorts again, picking up a paintbrush from the ground, before Youngjae can reply. "Anyway, how are we supposed to do this?" He asks aloud this time, hands too preoccupied with twisting and turning the brush in his hands curiously, examining every bristle, every curve of the handle.
Youngjae thinks it's cute, and now that he actually knows what he's feeling-what it is he's feeling-he doesn't try to ignore it. He actually rather enjoys the way his stomach flips, how his heart beats, how happy he feels just being near Daehyun.
"You grab a brush," Youngjae explains, grabbing his own brush from the ground and displaying it in front of Daehyun's eyes as if the blonde wouldn't be able to see it if he just held it from a lengths distance. "You dip it in a paint can," Youngjae does just as speaks, dipping his paintbrush carefully into the can of yellow. "And then you paint." With a cocky looking grin on his face, Youngjae presses the paintbrush to the wall and brushes, starting from the bottom of the wall to the top, all the while staring at Daehyun's face, eyebrows etched together just slightly in irritation.
Daehyun rolls his eyes, taking his own paintbrush and dipping it almost defiantly into the red paint. Grumbling, Daehyun starts to paint over Youngjae's neat strip of yellow, changing it to a vibrant red-orange. "I don't want my room painted yellow." He says, and Youngjae's lips part in a silent mock gasp.
"Don't be such a baby." Youngjae announces, pointing his paintbrush at Daehyun and accidentally sending blotches of fluorescent yellow onto his face and speckled into his blonde hair.
Youngjae laughs, outright and abrupt, but makes no move to apologize. The look on Daehyun's face, eyes wide in shock and jaw practically hitting the floor is way too priceless to apologize for.
"Yoo Youngjae," Daehyun starts, and Youngjae can tell he's just resisting the urge to wipe the paint away. "Did you just fling paint at me?"
"Maybe."
Poking his tongue from his mouth, Daehyun slowly pulls his own paint brush from out the paint can, red coating the bristles, before he flings paint right back at the genius, snorting at the look of outrage on the younger's face.
It doesn't take long until they're laughing, dipping their paintbrushes into the different colors and tossing paint onto each other, coating themselves and the walls in fluorescent reds, blues, greens, and yellows.
Silently, Jongup backs away from Daehyun's door, opened to a sliver that Youngjae and Daehyun don't notice. His heart is stuck somewhere between his stomach and chest, crumbling slowly as he watches the blonde and Youngjae laugh, flicking paint at each other playfully.
(Daehyun has the brightest smile on his face when he's with Youngjae, Jongup notices grimly.
It's getting hard to breathe.)
They look like they're having a lot of fun together, and Jongup would go as far as to say that they looked like they liked each other.
His heart breaks more at the sight.
Because they do, don't they? They look like a couple, laughing and talking and joking with each other.
Something Jongup and Daehyun never do.
Because all Jongup does is whine to him. It's all he ever does, isn't it?
(He knew Daehyun wouldn't like him.
He knew it.)
Inching away from the door, Jongup bites his bottom lip, stomach sinking and heart shattering, and he walks away, all amount of courage he managed to build up moments before crumbling down.
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Previous | Next
Author: ivoryroyale
Genre: supernatural, drama, romance, friendship, hurt
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: language
Summary: in which a group of six aren't afraid to stand tall because they have each other.
Note: 5,584 words. Unbeta-ed. DaeJong everywhere in this chapter. \o/ And my internet works!!! Finally!
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[prologue] [chapter 1] [chapter 2] [chapter 3] [chapter 4] [chapter 5] [chapter 6] [ chapter 7] [chapter 8] [ chapter 9] [chapter 10] [chapter 11] [ chapter 12] [chapter 13] [chapter 14] [ chapter 15] [ chapter 16] [ chapter 17] [ chapter 18] [ chapter 19] [ chapter 20]
not afraid to fall
chapter fifteen
Laughing is a strange and whole new concept to Daehyun.
He's always thought that laughter was voluntary, something he would be able to control when he finally managed to do it somehow, and he always thought it would be something-he doesn't really know exactly-something strange? Something abnormal?
But no, laughter is something way different than abnormal. It bubbles from the pit of his stomach and up his throat, and it's something so natural-so real-that Daehyun almost forgets how to breathe. He feels a bout of euphoria crawling out of his skin, and he's happy for the first time in a while and it's probably the greatest feeling he's encountered since the moment he moved in with Yongguk. And he's smiling-he can feel it on his lips and he can hear Jongup pointing it out and he can see one, bright and gorgeous lighting up Youngjae's face.
And-and Daehyun's smiling.
It's like he's learning how to live again, head first with the training wheels off, and he loves it.
"Oh my God," Daehyun gasps, clutching at his stomach helplessly, struggling to breathe through violent giggles. "I-can't-breathe." He rolls over onto his back, trying to remember how to breathe properly again. Is he supposed to take deep breaths after laughing for so long? Does he breathe in or out first? What- "Youngjae-" He yelps, hoping the genius'll know something that will let him breathe again. Fresh tears spring out of the corners of his eyes, and a slight flush dusts across his face from laughing so hard for too long. What Youngjae said wasn't that funny, but it's like all of his laughter, built up from the past where he couldn't even smile, refuses to stop.
Daehyun tries to pry open his eyes that keep trying to close (Are you suppose to lose control of all your body parts when you laugh or what, because Daehyun's body won't seem to listen to him.) to see Youngjae. The brunette leans over him, waiting expectantly, giggles subsiding long enough to hear what Daehyun wants to say. "How-how do I st-" How do I stop?!
Instead of helping, Youngjae only laughs more, collapsing yet again onto the bed, over Jongup. "You seriously don't know how to stop?" The genius chokes out, and Daehyun, in a panic, shakes his head frantically, hoping Youngjae would somehow stop laughing and help him for God's sake he's dying here.
"Why would you want to stop?" Jongup asks earnestly, grin large on his face.
Daehyun thinks, oh, I don't know, I kind of want to breathe, thank you, but isn't angry at the younger because his laughter seems to be subsiding, turning into tiny peels of giggles.
Jongup pouts, just a bit at the sight before there's a sudden evil glint in his eyes. The rest of the laughter that Daehyun felt previously drains away and he stares in slight horror as Jongup grins a little bit wider than before.
Daehyun feels rather than sees Jongup's hands ghosting across his sides and-
Another bout of laughter rips itself away from Daehyun's mouth as Jongup's hands dance their way along Daehyun's abdomen, tickling at his sides, and forcing unwanted laughter to bubble up his throat. Daehyun tries to thrash out of Jongup's grasp, twisting and turning helplessly.
A laugh-yelp escapes Daehyun's mouth and he reaches out to where Youngjae is, silently begging the genius to save him.
"Jong-" Daehyun tries to say, tries to sound commanding, but the smile on his face makes him seem anything but threatening. "S-stop." He gasps.
And Jongup freezes then, following Daehyun's order because of the manipulation accidentally lacing Daehyun's vocals at his lack of control. The blonde can still feel Jongup's hands loosely at his sides, fingertips grazing his t-shirt, and Daehyun's laughter dies down too, too shocked at the proximity of how close the boy is-brown pools of glimmering eyes staring him down, mouth set in a blank line, hair slightly tickling Daehyun's face. From this close, Daehyun can count the number of eyelashes around Jongup's eyes, can see how wide his usually sharp eyes are, can see how chapped his lips are, slightly opened and pouting at being stopped-
Daehyun stares a little while longer, breath catching in his throat.
On pure instinct, he finds himself leaning forward-
And Jongup splutters, cheeks flooding with a red hue, and as quickly as Jongup leaned forward, tickling Daehyun, he jumps back, successfully throwing himself off the bed and onto the ground.
His skull collides with the floor with a loud thump and Jongup lets out a short hiss from where he is, head on the ground and feet in the air at the edge of the bed, and Youngjae practically jumps from his spot to see if he's alright. Daehyun pushes himself up from the bed a second later, feeling lightheaded and dizzy and confused.
(What was he just trying to do just then?)
"Are you okay?" Youngjae asks, hands ghosting over Jongup's head to make sure he didn't injure himself too badly, but Daehyun can see he's trying his hardest not to laugh at the younger boy's blunder.
Daehyun looks down, apology on the tip of his tongue, honest concern glinting in his eyes as he watches Youngjae offering a hand to Jongup. "I'm sorry. You okay?" He asks, repeating Youngjae's words, just to be sure the younger was absolutely alright.
The younger boy quickly snaps out of whatever pain he was in before, whipping his head toward Daehyun, appearing unharmed, a shocked squeak escaping his mouth instead of an actual answer to Daehyun's question. "Sorry!" He stammers, biting at his lip. "I didn't mean to-be that close, um, I," Jongup braves a look up at Daehyun, and the blonde feels a slight stutter in his chest when Jongup can't look him in the eyes.
"It's okay," Daehyun quickly interjects, and Jongup suddenly can look him in the eyes again. "I-" Daehyun starts, and Jongup and Youngjae stare up at him, eyebrows a bit drawn together in concentration and eyes the slightest bit glazed over, waiting for Daehyun to say more-waiting for a command. Daehyun recognizes the symptoms of his ability.
With an annoyed groan, Daehyun runs his hands through his hair and grabs his post-its. I'm sorry. He writes. That was my fault. He makes a show of pouting his lips and bowing his head, and he's delighted when one of them giggles at him. I need to be more careful. He jots down, writing it as an afterthought, letting Jongup and Youngjae harmlessly read over the words. He means much more than his mere ability though.
He's been too reckless, too careless.
Way too careless, he thinks, grip on his pen loosening at the sight of Jongup's eyes softening, posture relaxing, the red on his face dying into a pink so light Daehyun can't even see it anymore.
He promised himself before all this he wouldn't fall in too deep. That he wouldn't be as careless as before. But Daehyun can feel that promise fading, deteriorating with each day he spends here.
"So, that means you're okay, right?" Youngjae asks after a moments of silence engulfs the room. The genius seems strangely unhinged to Daehyun, by the way his smile fades and the way his eyes dart around the room as if searching for something. He seems to want to rid himself of the silence way too quickly and it causes some suspicion to spike up in the back of Daehyun's neck and spine, settling deep in the pit of his stomach. Something's wrong with him, his instincts say-instincts honed to tack any irregularity because in his life the only thing he knew was agenda-organization-the regularities and irregularities of a soldier's work and how they did it. And right now, he knows, with the little time he's known him, that Youngjae's acting abnormal-panicked. Scared of the quiet.
Why, Daehyun doesn't really know, but he's pretty sure he's right.
With a nod, Jongup scratches at his injured head, and Youngjae chuckles good-naturedly, ruffling the younger boy's hair playfully. "Someone needs to be more careful." The brunette teases. "What were you even doing anyway? All you were doing was tickling Daehyun. Why'd you roll backwards off the bed?"
Daehyun watches Youngjae and Jongup carefully, waiting for Jongup's reply. Waiting for the boy to tell Youngjae, tell him that Daehyun just tried to-
"Um," Jongup says abruptly, and Daehyun eyes ghost over Jongup's briefly before the younger boy coughs, a smile suddenly on his face again. "I was backwards somersaulting," He states, looking utterly serious.
Youngjae stares. Daehyun blinks. He isn't sure whether to laugh or not.
"Backwards somersaulting?" Youngjae asks slowly.
Jongup nods as if that's explanation enough. "Yes."
Youngjae chuckles, albeit nervously in Daehyun's eyes. "Um, why?"
"Because I was so happy Daehyunnie hyung laughed for the first time." Jongup doesn't even bat an eyelash, face the equivalent to an expert poker player. He answers the question quickly, easily, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
If Daehyun didn't know any better, he would think Jongup was actually telling the truth. He was happy before, that's for sure, but the only reason he tumbled off the bed was because Daehyun almost-
"Well," Jongup exclaims, still laying vertical on the side of the bed, performing another somersault so that he lands perfectly on his feet. Daehyun and Youngjae stare at him in wonder. "I'm going to go downstairs."
Before Daehyun or even Youngjae can ask why, Jongup is smiling prettily and frolicking his way out of the room. "Bye you guys!"
The door to Jongup's room slams shut, and Daehyun and Youngjae are left alone.
Daehyun is silent, letting his head drop onto the bed.
He feels stupid.
(Why did he even do that?)
"Well, he was lying," Youngjae states, as if it weren't obvious enough. (Then again, it probably wasn't supposed to be. The only reason Daehyun knows is because he had been the one that just tried to-to kiss Jongup.
Why-)
"I don't know why he's lying, but he is."
There's another moment of short silence until Youngjae turns, looking at Daehyun just as he lifts his head from the pillow. Their eyes catch and Youngjae pushes himself off the bed, a sudden smile on his face. "Well," The genius exclaims, standing up from the ground. "Whatever it is-it's Jongup, so we don't really need to worry all that much,"
Daehyun isn't really pleased with that explanation because Jongup is probably going to hate him forever, why did he have to be so stupid. "For now, how about we try and do a little decorating to your room?"
Momentarily, Daehyun forgets about Jongup, and he remembers the shopping trip that couldn't have happened all too long ago, but what felt like happened months ago. He remembers how much fun that was-how many trinkets and toys, how many clothes and furniture, how many people and how much color and how much livelier it was than, quite frankly, everything Daehyun's ever witnessed in his life.
He remembers how much fun he had, walking around the different stores with Youngjae, getting lost in the different colors. He remembers the pearl drinks and the music that Youngjae showed him and scaring the younger everytime he wondered away too far.
(It wouldn't hurt to forget, would it?)
"Sounds like fun," Daehyun utters honestly, and Youngjae smiles.
Jongup doesn't exactly know why he goes downstairs of all places.
Quite honestly, he just wanted an excuse-needed an excuse-anything to get away from Daehyun and Youngjae and the embarrassment and the confusion and the way his heart just seems to hammer in his chest and is he crazy, or did Daehyun just try to kiss him?
Jongup might not be the sharpest tack in the toolbox, but he's pretty damn sure friends don't just go around trying to kiss each other.
And he's relatively sure they aren't supposed to want to kiss each other.
(That's right, right? Jongup isn't supposed to want to kiss Daehyun.)
He's supposed to be freaked out, right? He's supposed to want to be as far away from Daehyun as possible.
Himchan told him that before-he's sure of it-that if anyone so much as tried anything like that, he was supposed to kick them as hard as he could in between the legs and that he didn't care if he kicked them hard enough to send them flying. If someone gets too close for comfort, he was supposed to run, kicking and screaming, and never look back.
(But Jongup doesn't want to run from Daehyun. Daehyun's nice and he's easy to talk to and he isn't scary and he has the greatest smile and laugh in the world and-and-
And what if he wants to kiss Daehyun?
There's that stutter-that twitch in his chest again-and Jongup realizes.
Realizes that holy crap, he wants to kiss Daehyun.)
Well, what the hell is he supposed to do now then?
Stomping into the kitchen, Jongup thinks he's going to just sort of eat away his troubles and forget about it.
It wouldn't hurt to forget, would it?
"Jongup?" The brunette freezes in the kitchen doorway, ears perking up at the sound of-
"Himchannie hyung?" Jongup asks, the smile growing on his lips a sudden involuntary action. And as luck would have it, there the shield maker was, sitting at the kitchen table with Yongguk sitting across from him, empty plates set in front of them with crumbs littering the glass. Jongup pauses a second to think. Himchan was locked up inside his room this morning, so if he was outside of it now, that must mean- "Yongguk hyung and you got back together?" He asks excitedly, hopping his way further into the kitchen.
Yongguk chuckles and all Himchan can do is stare. "Um. Yeah, but can you... maybe not make it sound like we're a couple that broke up?"
Jongup blinks. "Yongguk hyung and you made up?" He offers, grinning goofily.
This time, Himchan chuckles along with Yongguk. "Better." The second oldest says with a smile. "And yeah, we made up."
"I told you you had nothing to worry about, Jongup," Yongguk sighs, standing up from his spot on the table to walk over and swipe up Himchan's plate along with his, making his way to the sink to drop off the dishes carelessly. When Yongguk turns around from the sink, he gives Jongup a very stern looking half glare that makes Jongup want laugh more than sink into the ground in fear like it's probably supposed to.
"Sorry," Jongup apologizes, taking a seat at the kitchen table with Himchan, sitting in the chair right next to the older man. Leaning back in his chair, Jongup stares long at Himchan. For some reason, instead of a day, it feels like years since he's gotten a good look at the man. To be quite accurate, Jongup probably hasn't even talked to the man since... one... two... five days.
They've been a little too busy lately to actually find the proper time.
Upon further examination, Jongup sees dry tear tracks staining Himchan's cheeks. With a soft gasp, Jongup leans forward in his chair, hands involuntarily shooting out to rub at the man's cheeks. "You've been crying?" Jongup asks gently, worry flooding through his veins.
Himchan's eyes widen just a bit, avoiding Jongup's eyes before rubbing harshly at his cheeks. "Oh, yeah," The brunette chuckles. "I was just a bit upset. You don't have to worry."
Jongup purses his lips, eyes never leaving Himchan's face.
With another chuckle and a coo that Jongup can't tell is real or not, Himchan ruffles his hair affectionately. "You're so cute. Worrying about little 'ole me," Himchan smiles, batting his eyelashes sillily, and Jongup can't help but crack a smile of his own too, pushing Himchan's hands away from him playfully.
He hears Yongguk snort as he takes his seat again, across from Himchan. "God, never bat your eyes again. You look so creepy," Yongguk points out, and Himchan frowns, sticking his tongue out childishly at the man.
"You're just jealous 'cause I'm prettier than you," Himchan jokes, throwing his hands over Jongup with exclamations about how Yongguk is so mean and he should be nicer to his best friend or he won't cook for him ever again for as long as he lives (Yongguk quickly apologizes upon hearing this. Himchan might not be the best cook in the world, but everybody else here sure as hell can't cook as good as him, and he'd rather not starve to death.)
"Oh, right, speaking of food," Himchan says suddenly, the hands looped around Jongup's shoulders slackening as the older man adjusts his head to look Jongup in the eyes. "Why'd you come down here? Are you hungry or something, because you sounded like you were having too much fun up there to want to come downstairs-" He stops suddenly, scrunching up his face with a click of his tongue. "Well, Daehyun was having fun up there at least. I didn't really recognize the laugh, so I'm guessing it was him."
Jongup's face flames again at being reminded of Daehyun: Daehyun and his laugh and the way that his eyes scrunch up when he laughs and the way his lips-"Wait a second," Himchan says, interrupting Jongup's thoughts. "You're blushing."
"No, I'm not," Jongup says quickly, trying to will away the blush he knows is on his face away. He will not make a big deal out of this. He refuses. Daehyun probably just saw something on his face. Yeah, that's it. He saw something on his face. And he was just trying to pick it off...
By using his lips.
Yep.
"Nope, you're blushing," Himchan concludes, turning toward Yongguk. "Right, Guk?"
Yongguk leans back in his chair, arms crossed, looking entirely too pleased with a smirk on his face. "Oh, he's blushing alright."
Jongup scoffs. Why the hell won't this fucking blush go away?
"Why are you blushing?" Himchan interrogates, poking at Jongup's cheek. "It has something to do with what happened upstairs, huh?" He guesses-a fox-like grin on his face.
"For the last time, I'm not blushing!" Jongup reiterates, stomping his foot lightly in frustration. It's not so lightly, apparently, because it sends Jongup's foot crashing through the kitchen tile, ceramic panels bending easily at the weight of Jongup's foot.
The three of them stare, silent, down at the splintered and cracked flooring.
Yongguk's jaw drops. Himchan whistles.
"Someone's not keeping a hold on their powers," Himchan sings. Jongup's blush deepens.
They're silent for a moment before Yongguk asks, calmly-eyes still trained on the broken floor. "So, what happened? And don't say nothing, because you haven't lost control over your ability in forever," The pyrokinetic warns, looking Jongup dead in the eye when the boy tries to open his mouth to explain.
"Um, Daehyunnie hyung laughed for the first time," Jongup murmurs.
Himchan and Yongguk nod. "We heard him,"
"And I started to play around with him because I didn't want him to stop laughing and-and he told me to stop and that's it." Jongup says in a rush, balling his hands into fists, staring determinedly at the ground.
The part about Daehyun almost kissing him wasn't that important.
"That's it?" Himchan asks, narrowing his eyes at Jongup. Jongup doesn't meet his gaze. "That's the reason you were blushing?" Jongup nods.
"So you guys didn't-oh, I don't know-accidentally kiss?"
Jongup splutters and makes another hole in the tile.
Yongguk's eyes go wider than Jongup's ever seen them.
"We didn't kiss! He just got really close to my mouth, I swear we didn't kiss, hyung." Jongup pleads, and his voice squeaks in the most embarrassing of ways.
There's another pause.
"How did you know to guess that?" Yongguk asks, looking a bit stunned.
"I watch a lot of dramas. Accidental kisses happen all the time." Himchan states matter-o-factly before turning to Jongup again, slipping his arms off Jongup's shoulder. "Anyway, that's why you were blushing, right? You and Daehyun almost kissed?"
Jongup has to swallow down whatever keyboard smash that's threatening to escape his vocals before he can answer. "Um, maybe?"
Himchan pauses for another minute, holding a thoughtful hand to his chin. "When it happened, you were really embarrassed, right?"
Jongup is confused a second before he nods hesitantly.
"And was your heart beating really fast?"
With wide eyes, Jongup gives another nod.
"And, let me guess, you can't stop thinking about Daehyun now."
Jongup's jaw drops.
"Hyung, are you telepathic?"
Himchan laughs, ruffling Jongup's hair affectionately again. "No, but I can just tell." Coughing, Himchan takes a glance at Yongguk, keeping his eyes on him for a mere second before smiling at Jongup. "You sound like you have a little crush on Daehyun." Himchan says simply, telling Jongup exactly the reason why he was feeling this way.
"A crush?" Jongup asks, eyebrows furrowing together, another blush dusting over his cheeks. "No-no, I don't-" The boy tries to deny, waving his hands in front of his face.
Himchan gives him a look that makes him stop.
Jongup sighs. "Well, then, assuming I do have a crush on Daehyun, what am I supposed to do about it?"
Himchan opens his mouth, a small scoff leaving it in a huff. His eyes travel toward Yongguk again. "I honestly don't know," The older man trails off, eyes still looking at Yongguk. "Maybe you should just tell him?"
Jongup's heart nearly stops in his chest and his face pales. "Tell him?" His eyes widen. "I can't just tell him!" He exclaims, voice getting higher in pitch. "What if he doesn't like me back?" He asks nervously, wringing his hands together.
"I honestly don't know," Himchan says again, sighing. Ruffling Jongup's hair again, he smiles encouragingly. "But you know, it's up to you: you can either sit around waiting, wondering what would happen, or you can follow my advice."
With a deep breath, Jongup gives Himchan a huge, nervous smile. He starts to build up enough courage to stand up from the kitchen table and run up the stairs to tell Daehyun.
Tell him that he likes him.
Like likes him.
Jongup feels his heart catch in his throat.
He looks down, looks at Himchan's smile again, and breathes in another courageous breath. "Okay. I'm going to go tell him." Jongup announces shakily, carefully making his way out of the kitchen with his eyes still trained on Himchan.
The shield maker gives him a thumbs up before he's marching up the stairs, repeating over and over under his breath that he can do this. He can do this.
He can totally do this.
"Are you sure this is okay?" Yongguk asks, watching Jongup as he ascends the stairs. "What if Jongup gets his heart broken? He's going to have to deal with seeing Daehyun everyday."
Himchan leans back in his chair. "Oh, it's going to be okay. I'm pretty sure they like each other." Himchan states. "They'll be fine; we don't have to worry." Himchan smiles. "Besides, this household could use a little puppy love after what happened. And I'm pretty sure this is the first time one of the kids has ever tried talking to us about this kind of thing too." Himchan points out, trying to convince Yongguk that this was a good thing-this was healthy.
Sighing, Yongguk stares as long as possible at the stairs, and Himchan almost smiles at the look on his face. He looks like a father, giving away his daughter to get married.
He wonders what would happen if Junhong ever found himself a girlfriend.
They both would probably have a cow.
With another sigh, Yongguk leans forward onto the table, elbows digging into the wood. "Since when did you become such a love expert anyway?" His best friend asks, gummy grin on his face, tone teasing. "You knew all the 'love symptoms'." Yongguk puts air quotes around the words 'love symptoms'.
Himchan stares at him, biting at his lower lip. Since I figured out that I'm in love with you, he wants to say-heart beating fast and head telling him to tell him.
Instead, Himchan shrugs, ignoring his heart and his head completely. "I watch a lot of dramas." He leans further into his chair, pulling at his shirt collar coolly. "Plus, I got plenty of girlfriends in my lifetime."
"Please," Yongguk scoffs. "At what time?"
"Highschool." Himchan answers easily, looking mock offended. "Girls were falling all over me."
"That's not how I remember it,"
"Well, you're obviously delusional."
"And you obviously forgot Jaebeom hyung was the one who got all the girls. Not you."
Himchan makes a face. "Jealousy is not a pretty color on you, Yongguk."
Yongguk snorts.
"If you go up those stairs and go to the first door on your right, you should find a whole room full of supplies," Youngjae instructs, pointing down the hall once they leave Jongup's room. "There should be a whole bunch of paint brushes and paint pans and a huge blanket lying around somewhere in there. Get those and I'll meet you in your room, 'kay? I'll get the paint," The blonde nods, following Youngjae's exact orders, making his way down the hallway and up the stairs.
With a smile, Youngjae heads in the opposite direction, downstairs, when he can't see Daehyun anymore.
He doesn't exactly know why, but he feels unusually giddy. For some reason, just the thought of painting a room with Daehyun seems abnormally fun to him.
He takes the steps two at a time, and once downstairs, Youngjae finds the paint, along with all the other things Daehyun and him bought, where they left them, before the whole Junhong ordeal happened. Whistling a tune, Youngjae rummages through the shopping bags, making his way to the paint cans when he hears Himchan, Yongguk, and Jongup talking in the kitchen.
With a can of fluorescent blue and red in one hand and green and yellow in another, he hears Himchan say, "Anyway, that's why you were blushing, right? You and Daehyun almost kissed?" and Youngjae freezes, hands on the paint can handles tightening ever so slightly.
What?
Youngjae swallows, his gut twisting as he edges his way over to the wall leading to the kitchen. Silently, he listens, curiosity getting the better than him. "Um, maybe?"
He probably should go, but his head is telling him otherwise. It's telling him to listen. Listen to them. They could be talking about you. They could be saying something you need to know.
Youngjae is about to tell his brain, tell his ability, that that can't be true. They're talking about Daehyun, talking about Jongup.
Talking about them together.
Youngjae swallows down the pain again. "When it happened, you were really embarrassed, right?"
Himchan, Youngjae recognizes. "And was your heart beating really fast?"
With furrowed eyes, Youngjae relates his own heart, beating fast whenever he's around Daehyun, to the question. The way it stutters, the way it hammers, the way it soars when he's around him.
Yes, he answers quietly. What does it mean though?
"And, let me guess, you can't stop thinking about Daehyun now."
Yes.
Youngjae can never stop. Not since the shopping trip. Not since he saw those shining eyes and heard that sweet voice.
"You sound like you have a little crush on Daehyun." Himchan points out and Youngjae's heart stops.
A crush?
Within a minute, Youngjae's ability is already defining the word for him. (Crush. [kruhsh]. noun - a burning desire to be with someone who you find extremely special.)
Is that what he has? Is that why Youngjae can't think straight around Daehyun?
A crush?
From inside the kitchen, Youngjae can hear Jongup moving, and before the younger can even see him, he's bolting as fast as he can up the stairs.
Youngjae makes it into Daehyun's room, out of breath and leaning against the door with the paint held tight in his hands, the moment Jongup takes his first step on the stairs.
"Hey," Daehyun says, and Youngjae startles a bit, nearly dropping the paint cans onto the ground in a puddle of fluorescent hues. The blonde looks up at him from his spot on the ground of his bedroom, a large blanket spread across the carpet floor along with paint brushes and paint trays scattered around him.
Youngjae's heart stops.
(He has a crush on Daehyun.)
"You okay?"
(He has a crush on Daehyun.)
"Yeah," Youngjae answers easily, forcing a smile and making his way over to Daehyun. He drops the paint cans in front of Daehyun with another fake laugh. "Just-" He bites his lip, staring as Daehyun looks back at him, eyes shiny with worry (God, Youngjae loves his eyes.) "The-the paint cans were really heavy." Youngjae lies.
Daehyun snorts, holding up one of his post-its. No wonder you took so long. I was practically rotting away up here.
Youngjae smiles (a real smile this time). Daehyun's changed a bit since the last time they hung out. He seems more open, more inclined to joke.
(It's a fresh change, really.
Especially after Junhong-)
"You're a real brat, aren't you?" Youngjae asks cheekily, opening up the lids to the paint cans as he does so, a pungent sort of toxic smell wafting through the room that makes the blonde nearly gag. (Youngjae laughs.)
Coughing, a hand over his nose and mouth, Daehyun narrows his eyes at Youngjae. Look who's talking. He retorts. You know, I'm your hyung; shouldn't you show me some respect?
"Technically, you're not," Youngjae points out. "I don't really need to call you hyung; I'm just that respectful."
Too kind. Really. Daehyun snorts again, picking up a paintbrush from the ground, before Youngjae can reply. "Anyway, how are we supposed to do this?" He asks aloud this time, hands too preoccupied with twisting and turning the brush in his hands curiously, examining every bristle, every curve of the handle.
Youngjae thinks it's cute, and now that he actually knows what he's feeling-what it is he's feeling-he doesn't try to ignore it. He actually rather enjoys the way his stomach flips, how his heart beats, how happy he feels just being near Daehyun.
"You grab a brush," Youngjae explains, grabbing his own brush from the ground and displaying it in front of Daehyun's eyes as if the blonde wouldn't be able to see it if he just held it from a lengths distance. "You dip it in a paint can," Youngjae does just as speaks, dipping his paintbrush carefully into the can of yellow. "And then you paint." With a cocky looking grin on his face, Youngjae presses the paintbrush to the wall and brushes, starting from the bottom of the wall to the top, all the while staring at Daehyun's face, eyebrows etched together just slightly in irritation.
Daehyun rolls his eyes, taking his own paintbrush and dipping it almost defiantly into the red paint. Grumbling, Daehyun starts to paint over Youngjae's neat strip of yellow, changing it to a vibrant red-orange. "I don't want my room painted yellow." He says, and Youngjae's lips part in a silent mock gasp.
"Don't be such a baby." Youngjae announces, pointing his paintbrush at Daehyun and accidentally sending blotches of fluorescent yellow onto his face and speckled into his blonde hair.
Youngjae laughs, outright and abrupt, but makes no move to apologize. The look on Daehyun's face, eyes wide in shock and jaw practically hitting the floor is way too priceless to apologize for.
"Yoo Youngjae," Daehyun starts, and Youngjae can tell he's just resisting the urge to wipe the paint away. "Did you just fling paint at me?"
"Maybe."
Poking his tongue from his mouth, Daehyun slowly pulls his own paint brush from out the paint can, red coating the bristles, before he flings paint right back at the genius, snorting at the look of outrage on the younger's face.
It doesn't take long until they're laughing, dipping their paintbrushes into the different colors and tossing paint onto each other, coating themselves and the walls in fluorescent reds, blues, greens, and yellows.
Silently, Jongup backs away from Daehyun's door, opened to a sliver that Youngjae and Daehyun don't notice. His heart is stuck somewhere between his stomach and chest, crumbling slowly as he watches the blonde and Youngjae laugh, flicking paint at each other playfully.
(Daehyun has the brightest smile on his face when he's with Youngjae, Jongup notices grimly.
It's getting hard to breathe.)
They look like they're having a lot of fun together, and Jongup would go as far as to say that they looked like they liked each other.
His heart breaks more at the sight.
Because they do, don't they? They look like a couple, laughing and talking and joking with each other.
Something Jongup and Daehyun never do.
Because all Jongup does is whine to him. It's all he ever does, isn't it?
(He knew Daehyun wouldn't like him.
He knew it.)
Inching away from the door, Jongup bites his bottom lip, stomach sinking and heart shattering, and he walks away, all amount of courage he managed to build up moments before crumbling down.
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