I haven't had anything to eat in 2 and a half days and I've only lost 1 pound.... I don't know why I can't just be thin.... :-( Bawling......

5'3, 111 and still fucking FAT!! Fail fail fail!!! Happy 4th, everyone

Hello Journal. It's been a few days. I have been off work which means lots of family time and I have been eating like a freaking cow... I was 113 Wednesday morning and after two days off I'm back up to 118. I hope after a couple days of laxative flushing mixed with restriction I'm able to get back to 113 and lose again... I'm having a difficult ( Read more... )

Happy Father's Day. Too bad mine sees me as a failure... Since I started hardcore restricting again I am doing good to make it through 8 hours at work. Yesterday dad told me that I needed to start running so I could lose weight and get into shape. I've lost nearly 30 pounds since January, but that's obviously not enough... Then tonight while I was ( Read more... )

I worked for 11 hours today on a few sticks of gum and a couple handfuls of sunflower seeds. Then I came home... Tori told me she was mad at me because I 'never' eat and she just wants to see me eat a meal... Keep dreaming, kid. Anyhow, came home and ate a way lot... Checked my weight before eating - 116. Then had a low fat yogurt with organic ( Read more... )

Crazy day! My parked car got hit by a moving truck... It did over $3,000 worth of damage. I came home from Shalee's house and I have to be up before 5. Yay for work... So random thought... I had more than DOUBLE the calories in the past 48 hours than I had the 6 days before put together and I still lost a pound... I don't understand it, but I'll ( Read more... )

Try to keep it short tonight. With my best friend of forever. Her mom is having a breast full of cancer removed in the am. We went to dinner tonight. Had half a salad and 4 bites of this cheese wrap roll thing... Purged a little... Can't bring myself to extremes right now. Shalee doesn't need to deal with my issues right now. It's all about her mom ( Read more... )

FAIL! I have nothing to say today excpet that I fail... Been keeping it at or under 300, been somewhat active, and yet I maintained... 119 is so far beyond unacceptable. Tori bought me a string cheese today. I took two small bites and when she went to the other room I threw it away. I didn't ask her for it and I felt bad for throwing it away, but ( Read more... )

Today was okay. I weighed in at 119 this morning. I feel like I'm at least twice that, but whatever. And I look 10 times that... Anyhow, had a small banana, handful of sunflower seeds, and 6 oz of coffee today. Not too horrible... Tori got mad at me when I told her I was full after my banana. She's a size 2 with a tummy, but still a size 2. She ( Read more... )

My day. Today. This day. Overall... Was it a good day? Well, I felt AWFUL the first 2.5 hours of work. Diet pills on an empty stomach is 10 times worse than vitamins on an empty stomach. I had between 800 and 850 cals today. Not accpetable. I didn't purge, but I took handfuls of laxatives. We went to see Marmaduke tonight. Me, Mom, Dad, and Logan. ( Read more... )