Its been so long. About three weeks since my last post
Halloween was a total train wreck and everything went down hill from there. I have gained all the weight I lost back. shit shit shit. I have been going to an ed support center (well I have been twice and my parents think I have been going every week) Anyway, since Halloween I have been eating ( Read more... )

FINALLY into the 120s
I'm at 127.5. my goal weight was 125 by Halloween but I'm not sure it'll happen, I'll hopefully be close though.
This weekend is terrifying me because of all the alcohol and junk I am going to have to consume. oh god
I am so happy to have broken into the 20's though and I cannot cannot ruin it
Life is overwhelming right now ( Read more... )

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ugh 
so after two days of bingeing at night which is so frustrating cause i would do so so well during the day then come home and fuck it up. i have gained roughly two pounds. urrrg. 
but its monday :)
brand new week, thank god. last week was shit
so basically my plan for today is a water fast but i do plan on having a few cucumbers and strawberries at ( Read more... )

so instead of coming to meet me like he said he would my boyfriend ended up getting drunk last night.
miserable me had a mini binge
and fucking gained
i hate life
i work all day to day so not sure i can handle a fast but all i packed is an apple and a few strawberries
BACK ON TRACK damn it
thin thin thin thin
still goal weight by halloween. i will do this ( Read more... )

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so the past two days except for yesterday i would eat lunch then sit in forth period and literally not be able to take it so i'd sign myself out go home, purge, then go back to school. ridiculous, huh? yesterday i ate more than i have in days and was so scared to see the scale this morning. but i'm at 129.5! yeah i've finally entered the 20s, ( Read more... )

so besides purging the sub earlier i've had 
4 veggie chicken nuggets (170) and thats it for solid food. the ridiculous thing is, is that i have had 
tea, a cappachino , and two small hot chocolates !! 3874987498178741874 calories. ugggggggh, ok so i'm over exaggerating but STILL
nothing but black coffee from now on. i hate the taste of it as well so ( Read more... )

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For the last two days I have spent every minute on the verge of tears. Seriously I feel like I could just crawl up and cry for days.
Walking into the eating disorder support centre was probably one of the hardest things i have ever done. Last time I was referred I went, got to the front door of the building, and bolted. I mean i seriously ran and ( Read more... )