the stench of failure is all around me
and all I can do is train myself not to smell.

If any of you had any idea of how pathetic my existance has been. It's just not fair. I work so hard to have my life make sense. I got completely and utterly fucked over b/c I thought maybe just maybe we could all just be friends. I could maybe trust my ( Read more... )

I have officially ruined every single relationship I have ever had.

Can any of you say that?

Every single solitary relationship I have had with another human being has been completely trampled on by me.

I'm a piece of shit.

What's there left to say?
Fuck off.

I want my power back.

I have been questioning everyone around me for so long that I've forgotton who I am.
The reason you all thought I was being condescending was b/c I wasn't a person. You don't understand.
I was talking to you the way I was b/c I had no self esteem. I'm not a person. But I will be.

I guess it's pretty obvious I got really caught up in that "you are what you are perceived to be" notion. I was completely burnt out on trying o make myself perfect, but I suppose we all do that in a way.

Every day it's gets a little easier and a little better

How much shame can one person feel?

What a journey ( Read more... )

The Ultimate Time ( Read more... )

Thanks to an old friend, and weeks of intense thought ( Read more... )

I'm a woman now, and I needed to be treated as such. As hard as this whole thing may be I need to do it.
I'm over it.
I don't care.
I have to do what's right for me.

And I don't need little words of encouragement.

I'm starting to think that I'm not what I thought I was. I'm starting to think I've built certain things up to something they're not and never were. I'm starting to think maybe certain things don't really fucking matter any more. I want to feel special again.


( Read more... )