Comments | iwishiwasaninja: the next big earthquake is long overdue

iwishiwasaninja

the next big earthquake is long overdue

Sep 15, 2006 10:56

Will left for Japan soon after the results came in. A whole bevy of doctors agreed: he’s going to die in 8 months. He’d had suspicions for some time; he could feel it in his heart when he pushed up hills, the thumping wasn't quite right. He started saying it soon after, it seemed like such a funny thing to say. "I ... am going to die." How could he ( Read more... )

Comments 6

infanttyrone September 15 2006, 07:47:55 UTC

Nice parts, but occasionally overwrought.

iwishiwasaninja September 15 2006, 18:34:17 UTC

it's probably true, just as I look back at it there are way too many paragraph endings with "x," said will, "x."

What do you have in mind?

infanttyrone September 16 2006, 16:15:51 UTC

Well it read likes fiction, and if it is, it's a little awkward for a third person narrator to be editorializing about the events. Like, are you a character or the author?

posteverything September 15 2006, 09:58:10 UTC

Don't listen to Tyrone he's just jealous.

I don't know what happened to you in Japan for you to be writing like this but, by all means keep going.

iwishiwasaninja September 16 2006, 21:14:01 UTC

I feel like describing action has lately become more important to me than describing thought, maybe just as a result of really *living* for a while.

Also, The Boredoms' album Super Ae happened, and nothing's really been the same since.

posteverything September 17 2006, 19:25:00 UTC

Listening to The Boredoms is a good use of your time by any stretch of the imagination, although I'm more of a 5.6.7.8s kind of guy myself.

You know what you write, whether it be action or thought you're more than competent with either.