I just finished reading a book called "My Heart Hemmed In" by Maria N'diaye. This is a book that I picked up on a rather difficult day, at the wrong location of my favorite book store a couple of weeks ago.

That day I had work until 2:15pm and then was feeling irritated/unhappy/tense because of a variety of reasons. I was simply in a bad mood and I ( Read more... )

This is a story I've tried to tell many times. I have had many starts, and that is where I get stuck. I have been stuck at the stat for far too long now. Part of the reason why is because it's hard to say when this all started, because all of this has been here from the very beginning. And it will all continue to be.

Maybe that is where the story ( Read more... )

Years and years ago now, I remember sitting with Gideon and Jeannette at Le Arbre (The Tree) in Rosemead. This was soon after his break up with Barbara, and he had been unable to contain his pain. We were there to try to cheer him up and I don't remember most of what was said.

I do remember, clearly, at one point he said "I just feel...so pathetic ( Read more... )

I have always had a contentious relationship with my mother since as far back as I remember. I think a lot of it came from how my dad seemed to view her and how she didn't seem to make sense to me, but also lots of resentment about her opting for eastern treatments of eczema vs western even when western was available. The people I have had the ( Read more... )

a couple months ago my father was in town for a few weeks and my brother invited us over to his place to have hot pot. it was nice of him to invite us but there was a lot of things that i noticed which i don't think i've noticed before? i'm not sure what it is, but for some reason this year i feel like i'm seeing a lot of things in a new light. i ( Read more... )

that I dont think conversation is going to help and I don't know why it is here and so fucking complicated when it really is a pretty straightforward plotline. I got upset because of something my friend did. Then my friend got mad that I got upset. Then I was upset MORE that they got mad at me even though I had not done anything. Then they said a ( Read more... )

so recently i have been feeling a bit down and a bit lost. as if i don't really know who i am,which is not really something i have ever struggled with before. --i think it comes from a place of feeling as if i keep trying to figure things out, but am given very little to work with to understand things. and it frustrates me to not understand things ( Read more... )

i have recently come to the conclusion that i don't want to work for or with certain people anymore. because no matter what i ask or what is said, i feel like there is another layer of deception. there is just a very strong feeling that no matter how hard i try to be understood, i am never fully understood. and no matter how hard i try to ( Read more... )

So I have recently gotten my schedule to one that is somewhat doable for me. It is as follows (for future posterity so I can tell my kids how I got up so early to go to work and shit etc but I won't guilt them like my mom did ( Read more... )

i forgot to post today because i slept super late yesterday at around 1am @_@ i'm super high right now but i remembered that i hadn't written yet today so here goes ( Read more... )