It's not so much about flying or not flying.
It's a certain predisposition that enables body to take to sky.  It's lightness in the marrow of one's bones, and the willingness to lift.

I don't think it's complete without me. 

Of the past 48 hours I have spent perhaps three of them unconscious, four of them in the shower and almost one washing my feet in the sink; and I think I see where there could be spiritual merit in sleep deprivation.  I feel like I'm seeing everything through an oddly distorted lens, and yet everything appears clearer.  Somewhat surreal, but ( Read more... )

I walk into my room, disoriented, heels in hand, at around 3 in the morning.  My roommate is asleep, I think.  I slip off my dress and crawl into bed in my panties, thinking to myself, half asleep, "life is amazing."  Over and over again I repeat this to myself, I don't know why and I don't care.  It seems appropriate at the moment.  Jen, Stephen, ( Read more... )

Nothing a few drinks can't help.

I don't want to go back to New Orleans tonight.  It's been a good weekend, considering the circumstances, considering my allergies and how dissappointed I am about everything.  Things are peaceful here, and I don't want to go back and confront all that messiness, not in this state of mind.

Patrick and I talked about me transfering to LSU next ( Read more... )

Humiliation.

H-U-M-I-L-I-A-T-I-O-N.

Humiliation.

So, there's drama.
I am in the middle of a big nasty mess, more or less by accident and I hate it.  I am in a completely no-win situation.  Any action I take will result in people being hurt, pissed off and/or betrayed.  If I try to do the right thing toward one person, I'll do something bad to the other.  But someone is lying to me - or at the very ( Read more... )

There is a lot more going on beneath the surface of things.  I'm trying to listen.  I'm trying to determine what is available to me now, and what I should cast aside.  What is obvious here, that I keep missing?  I feel as though something keeps escaping my radar.

As far as men go, I feel more than ever that I'm barking up an impossible tree.  (No ( Read more... )

Lately I have been neglecting to acknowledge a very important truth:  that I have it pretty fucking good right now;  my life will most likely never be this easy again;  I have a lot to happy about, and for the most part I am.  Or at least I'm content.

Today brought some much needed clarity.  I went to the lake for alone time - for some reason it ( Read more... )

I think it might be a good idea for me to disappear for a little while right now.

Then again, whenever I think something is a good idea, it usually isn't.