therealljidol week 17: It's always been enough.

May 07, 2017 15:25

We performed our act at night -- always at night ( Read more... )

Leave a comment

Comments 13

murielle May 10 2017, 02:25:07 UTC
Right from the start you play the story out bit by bit, your pacing is perfect. And when she gets her revenge it is by utterly devastating him, even before his parents...I'd say that was enough! Brava! Very well written!

Reply


furzicle May 10 2017, 03:52:05 UTC
Great story! What I find intriguing is that you've told essentially the same story I did: the woman scorned by a man, who, in the end, gets revenge. Mine is told as a nineteenth century western, yours as a fantasy. Eternal truths!

Reply


roina_arwen May 10 2017, 22:06:19 UTC
Amazing job! Very fun to read!

Reply


halfshellvenus May 11 2017, 06:20:44 UTC
"Tell the people what they want to hear
This was terrific foreshadowing of how he would come to treat the narrator over time... before he didn't even bother with that.

The boxing in of who people are and can be, taking more and more of them away from themselves, is such a horrid thing. I always worry the victim won't notice in time, and will eventually be destroyed by it.

This story of revenge was utterly satisfying in bringing about the comeuppance that was long overdue.

Reply


eternal_ot May 11 2017, 14:55:59 UTC
This is amazing! I was hooked throughout. Loved the end . Excellent use of the prompt. Well done!

Reply


Leave a comment

Up