So I'm REALLY trying to keep myself from driving off a cliff. No - really. I'm not kidding. "Thelma and Louse"ing it sounds really good right now. I can't afford ANYTHING. I have $15 in my wallet that's going to have to go towards gas. I haven't been able to drive anywhere other than work and home. I've applied for a couple 2nd jobs, but so far, no ( Read more... )

Life is changing all around me, and it's easy to feel left behind. I keep telling myself "It's their journey right now, not mine," but it's hard when you see friends getting engaged, married, having families, and being happy - and then there is my life. Which is thourgholy lacking romance and feels, well, oddly futureless at the moment. I mean, I ( Read more... )

There are some people who get so close to you, they almost become part of your soul. I believe John is one of those people. Without him, I find myself still looking for him in a crowd. The things I hated about him, are things that I now miss. I understand... a LOT more about myself. He was/is able to inspire strong feelings within me, and Don ( Read more... )

So you tell me, "You can rely on other people you know. I'm here to support you." And then you make decisions that put me on the back burner, on the side lines, and no more important than that last minute thing that took your attention away. I'm not high matience in many ways. But I am when it comes to time. We don't have much time on this earth ( Read more... )

John gave me the most amazing gift this year. He'd had a rough day on Saturday, so I went over there to say hi and take a walk on the beach with him. When I got to his mom's house (where he and his kids were), he brought me inside to share a very special moment with him. I got to watch him be "dad" as his kids were sleeping. It was truly one of the ( Read more... )

Alright - so what clicks immediatetly, unclicks just as fast. (sigh) Why is it that most of the guys I go out w/ aren't "ready for a reletionship", can't handle my schedule, or say something like "Wow! You remind me of my sister!" or "J, you are just like my best friend." Gah.... Thanks... I mean, I'm flattered. I know I'm best friend material, but ( Read more... )

No... I met a man. An uncomplicated, wonderful man that I clicked with almost immediately on every level.

Meeting him again tonight and we have plans for the weekend as well. We'll see what happens, but tonight, I am so getting a kiss goodnight! :)
- J

Why do I miss Matt so much today? Usually he keeps me company online, chattin' it up in IM, but today he hasn't been on. Why do I miss him?? I still barely know him. For some reason, I really want to see him before I leave on my road trip. Why is this so important to me? I can honestly say I'm not in love w/ him. Just a bit infatuated. I may just ( Read more... )

So my audition on Saturday went great, but I wasn't what they were looking for. Oh well ( Read more... )

So I've been seeing Matt for a couple weeks now. Nothing serious, just casual coffee here, and pub run there. It's been really nice. He has some great stories. Do I miss Don? Sure. In fact, oddly enough, I find myself forgetting about the nightmare the end was, and thinking more about how great things were for a few years. How we were the couple ( Read more... )