You Are Chocolate Chip Ice Cream

You are kind, popular, and generous.
You tend to be successful at anything you try.
A social butterfly, you are great at entertaining a crowd.

You are most compatible with strawberry ice cream.

Gentlemen! Presenting:

My League of Mirth!
Roy Orbison!
Morrisey!
 Eeyore!
Ian Curtis!

You know, Ian Curtis! From Joy Division?

You don't know Joy Division??!!

Fuck you!!!!!!!!!!

-Bubble Gum is the enemy of the moustache ( Read more... )

It has come to my attention that Robin sucks ( Read more... )

I feel sorry for Vienna sausages. They are kept in tiny cans, drenched in their own fetid, slimy filth, people never buy them, much less ingest them, and they are repeatedly typecast into playing Tom Cruise.

"Mnemonic is yet another thing Keanu Reeves has permanently ruined for me.

Another is Toronto.

Say what you will about Marxists, but they do not like to share their Fig Newtons.

Infidels.

I snuck into the darkened study, startling the man hunched over the desk.

"I'm looking for Paul Auster. Are you he?"

"I am."

I aimed my musket, and blew his eyebrows away.

To prepare for the sacred ritual of lawn-mowing, I wore a bandana three days before the blessed event were to enfold. When others queried of it, I refused to explain and satiate their feeble, impotent cribbage-playing minds. I'm far too metaphysical to bleed away preciois time instructing a band of cerebral gimps of the majesties of the shamans.

I mean it.