poem for "concatenate" Vocabulary Soup challenge from trascendenza

[jackien1968]

Title: Sky Eye, Earth Eye
Rating: R or possibly NC-17: implied but not mild m/m sex
Pairing: canonical
Summary: poem; 112 words
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Annie Proulx, Diana Ossana, Larry McMurtry, Ang Lee, Heath Ledger, and Jake Gyllenhaal. I borrow them with only the highest respect toward the aforementioned and others who brought

Comments

[trascendenza]

Love that dare not speak its name

Love too beautiful to name
Name I whisper like a fervent prayer though my hopes are long since plummeted to ground

Oh, those three lines in particular did me in. This is lovely, truly lovely, especially the imagery and the depth of emotion, and I love how you tied in the meaning of the word like a thread from first word to last. I'm so happy that I could facilitate this gorgeous writing!

[jackien1968]

trascendenza, thank you. That is high praise indeed.

I'm looking forward to meeting you on Sunday. I'll be at the dim sum, Fuzio, and the 6:00 screening, along with my Mom.

I explained in comments to the "concatenate" challenge post just how much you matter to me for something you couldn't have predicted but was nonetheless a great blessing and did indirectly result from your actions and in fact your art. I hope the story doesn't bum you out too badly, I hope you see the uplifting part. Since you'll probably also meet my Mom on Sunday, I want to add that watching the SR DVD at my brother's apartment is the very last time he and I and Mom were all together.

Love,
Jackie

[trascendenza]

I'm planning to be at Dim Sum and the 6:00 screening, too, so we should definitely run into each other :)

Oh, I absolutely saw the uplifting part--I felt very honored to have been a part of what was your last time with your brother. The story is sad, but also beautiful, much like Brokeback itself, and I really appreciate you sharing it with me. ♥

[rhye]

Absolutely drop dead gorgeous. Seriously. I just... wow.

my first-ever fanfic in any fandom

Just... wow. I hope not your last.

***is blown away***

[jackien1968]

Aw, thank you so, so much, planetgal. I'm a little misty-eyed to get such high praise from a writer I so admire.

(I'm sure I'll write more at some point. With baileymoyes' blessing, I'm working on a sequel to What Rough Beast from Friend's POV. Or at least, I was and will again hopefully soon. Just started a school quarter, and I'm having to take English classes and just volunteered myself ('cause I needed an exact number of units) to write a 20-page independent-study paper on the constructed language I made up for my science-fiction novel, and need to write a Physiology paper like yesterday for one of 3 science Incompletes from when I lost my brother in the Spring (I'm a Molecular Biology major). And finish the other 2 Incompletes. Someday I'll get back to working on the novel too, lol.)

Hugs and smooches,
Jackie

[frijo]

Hi Jackie,
this was beautiful! I really hope you'll write more in the fandom :) thanks!! Frida

[jackien1968]

Frida, thank you very much.

I will probably write more.

Jackie

[lolitaray]

This was just beautiful. Sorry for commenting so late.

[jackien1968]

Thanks, lolitaray.

Don't worry about commenting late, I'm still finding stuff from a year ago and commenting. I 'preciate 'em whenever I get 'em.

Hugs,
Jackie

[pocketnaomi]

Answering in response to your request in my journal: I don't personally like it much because I pretty much never like free verse, even almost-formalized free verse as this is (although that does help). I think it was very nicely done, though, within its style, so please take this as a thumbs-up despite my personal prejudice against the form. 'Kay?

[jackien1968]

Thanks, Sweetie.

I've gotten wonderful praise from my fellow Brokeback Mountain fans and even my Mommy *giggle*, but knowing how rigorous your standards are, it means a lot to me that you didn't have to say "read as requested but no further comment as per request" not that you would word it that way. I'm glad I got more specific about what I couldn't handle, or I would've missed this confessedly much needed ego boost.

Love,
J

[pocketnaomi]

Probably, given your request, if I couldn't have honestly praised the work I would've said nothing and all and left you usefully uncertain whether I'd even read it. But I'm glad I didn't have to. It's nicely done even if not my style.