poem for "concatenate" Vocabulary Soup challenge from trascendenza

[jackien1968]

Title: Sky Eye, Earth Eye
Rating: R or possibly NC-17: implied but not mild m/m sex
Pairing: canonical
Summary: poem; 112 words
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Annie Proulx, Diana Ossana, Larry McMurtry, Ang Lee, Heath Ledger, and Jake Gyllenhaal. I borrow them with only the highest respect toward the aforementioned and others who brought

Comments

Great

[samtyr]

Wow. This is great, simply great. So very powerful. Thank you for sharing this.

Re: Great

[jackien1968]

Thanks, samtyr. Very much. If I come up with any more BbM stuff, I'll make sure to share that also.

Hugs,
Jackie

Like a Painting

[ohiomyown]

It's so very lovely, Jackien, like a painting of the two of them. Glad you tried your hand at poetry, and shared it with us.
Judy

Re: Like a Painting

[jackien1968]

Thanks, Judy. I can't think of a nicer thing to be told about my poetry than "like a painting." Much appreciated.

Hugs,
Jackie

[joyjam]

What a nice construction, each man mirroring the other. I also love the circularity of it, the end of every line the beginning of the next and back again. Yet, within this strict format you captured the spirit of them and how they saw one another, perhaps without even knowing it, as a reflection of themselves.

[jackien1968]

Thanks, joyjam

[joyjam]

Jackie,

Yes, the the concept of concatenating is explored beautifully in your poem; the linking chain of the structure itself, as well as two souls twining to become one. J&E's times together could also been seen as links spanning the years.

I loved hearing about your process. It is interesting how sometimes you have to work backwards from the end to know the beginning, just as Ennis had to feel the emptiness of his heart to know it's fullness.

Your poem is layered and nuanced and I thank you for it.

Joy

[jackien1968]

Joy,

I'm glad my rambling was of interest.

"the linking chain of the structure itself, as well as two souls twining to become one. J&E's times together could also been seen as links spanning the years."

Wow. The only part of this that I was conscious of was the first part about the linking chain structure. For you to see more in it than I was aware of is probably about the highest compliment I can imagine. It dubs my work as having achieved a life of its own. Thank you. I can barely express how much I appreciate this.

Hugs,
Jackie

[bbmjack324]

Beautiful. Truly. Bringing tears to my eyes. Thanks,

[jackien1968]

bbmjack324,

Thank you very much.

Jackie

[glaenconer]

Lovely visceral imagery.

[jackien1968]

glaenconer,

Thank you very much.

Jackie

[glaenconer]

I only wish I was knowledgeable enough to comment on the intricate structure. I do like the subtle symbolism you used for each man, unless I'm reading too much into the words.

[jackien1968]

Hi, glaenconer.

No, I definitely used symbolism. I'm not sure I could discuss it meaninfully; not all of it was entirely conscious.

joyjam's comments above give a succinct, flawless analysis of the structure. She also discusses the meanings, probably much better than I could. I'm a bit too close to it; when I think about the significance or symbolism, my brain just goes back to the poem, which as I said, partly came together subconsciously.

Thanks, glaenconer and joyjam and all my other commenters.

Jackie