I have neglected this journal for some time.  It is difficult to say what drives a person to forget something so important.  Perhaps it was simply closing a very difficult part of my life and moving on, which was not an easy task.  I feel in many ways that my trust has been confiscated by the people I care about the most, and just when I would  ( Read more... )

I still believe in selflessness. Even when I walk outside and am mobbed by adoring fans or spat on my middle aged old men who probably spend their nights jacking off to pictures of 18 year old girls. Those people make *me* sick. I never touched a child, the thought makes me ill. Perhaps it is because my sexual drive has never been overly active ( Read more... )

I believe in the simple pleasures. I visited Bubbles yesterday. I miss him sometimes, but he was a handful and I chose to devote my time to my children. Yesterday, he was calm. I fed him a banana and we sat on the swings and watched his friends play. It was as if he had some sort of animalistic wisdom, knowing everything that has gone wrong. ( Read more... )

I am tired of standing on my own feet and having people kick me down. I am tired of the relentless efforts I must make to keep my name good. I am tired of not being appreciated for my art and for everything I try to give. I am tired of it not being enough. I am tired of people wanting extra. This is going to turn me into another apathetic body ( Read more... )

When I picked up my son from Elizabeth's, she looked ghostly white. When I asked what was wrong, she whispered that prince was watching the news. When he ran up and hugged me, I looked at his face and saw the tears in his eyes. My beautiful little boy, who never cries. He wispered 'how could people be so mean ( Read more... )

I have been betrayed before, and it is never easy. The videotape that the man on the jet recorded of my private meeting with my lawyer has been confiscated. That's right, someone videotaped a meeting with my lawyer. Why must people use me for every cent they can get? Why am I in the public eye, humiliated, discraced, for the sake of money? Why ( Read more... )

I have been away and for that I infinitely apologize. I am in Vegas right now, enraged by the allegations made against me. I thought in 1994 that is was a mistake, bad people trying to hurt me when all I had shown them was kindness. Now, I don't know what to think. How could someone try to bring so much destruction to me? What purpose does ( Read more... )

I feel exhausted..not only physically, emotionally. I am so scared this home movies show will turn around and do more harm than good, raise more questions in people's minds than answers. Reading fanmail reminds me that it is only the media that speaks the loudest, that my fans are still loyal. That is why, this is for them and screw the media, ( Read more... )

I have been working on getting the videos together to be aired on Thursday on FOX. It is no easy task, picking things (especially out of the ones from my childhood) that are not too embarrassing for others involved (especially my brothers, they were always doing things worthy of embarrassment). The project is almost done now, though so expect to ( Read more... )

Is there anything more beautiful than the human body? Honestly?