I am having a lot of conflicting and confusing emotions right now. About who I am, what I want from those that I love, and the perceptions that have shaped my life from it's beginnings. I cried a lot on Saturday night for rather silly reasons, but now that I think about it they were about more than what I thought they were at face value. Since then ( Read more... )

I am curious about how my post from yesterday magically dissapeared overnight. David and Cher both posted comments on it, so they can attest to it's existence. Basically what it said was that the second day was easier, that being outdoors makes my boogers black and buggy, and when my dad read my last entry, he laughed so hard that he almost cried ( ( Read more... )

I know I said that I wanted to learn what it's like to work hard this summer. But I seriously didn't know what that means. I feel like there's no way that I'm going to be able to get up and do this all over again. I've got bruises on my arms and legs from logs falling down and hitting me, blisters about ready to pop, and scratches all the way up my ( Read more... )

So after four and a half hours of driving, I'm back. It definately feels like deja vu, staying in the same room with the same people. I picked up my gear at the grayback office- I have a duffel bag, a pack that includes a hard hat, goggles and a headlamp (I guess I dont need yours after all, nathan) two water bottles and a fire shelter. I also got ( Read more... )

I feel sort of lonely right now. It's probably because I havn't done much this afternoon. I just feel really lazy and lethargic and bored. ugh.

You know what I realized? My whole world is biased- most of the reason that I think the way I do is because I've learned it from someone else who thinks the same way ( Read more... )

So today gave me a taste of what it's actually going to be like on the field, building line. When I say taste, I mean that they were really easy on us today. They drove us out past Jacksonville to the top of a mountain, where we were divided into two groups of 7 and told to build a fireline 1200 feet down the hill to the road at the bottom. There ( Read more... )

Who knows how to break in boots? I do ( Read more... )

Today I bought boots. That, to me more than anything else, seemed to be the final commitment. I mean, if I'm going to give up a week of my life listening about fire supression tactics and looking at a hoe, spend 200$ and impose on the generosity of another family, I might as well make it worthwhile ( Read more... )

So being on my own isn't that scary. I'm really homesick, but I know that after the three day hump that will go away. The family who I'm staying with is nice, and they are extremely generous. I want to be able to repay that ( Read more... )