So Much Mine: Section Thirty-Three
Section Thirty-Three
WARNING: FULL LEMON
Pairing: JaeHo
Rating: NC-17!... This section contains graphic sexual content.
This fanfic brought to you by the numbers 33 and 5 and by the LJ user Ranalore.
Summary: The beginning of a shifting relationship. Hot Korean boys. Sex. Dancing and some angry words. Not necessarily in that order. Not necessarily in each section.
Previous Sections:
One; Two; Three; Four; Five; Six; Seven; Eight; Nine; Ten; Eleven; Twelve; Thirteen; Fourteen; Fifteen; Sixteen; Seventeen; Eighteen; Nineteen; Twenty; Twenty-One; Twenty-Two; Twenty-Three; Twenty-Four; Twenty-Five; Twenty-Six; Twenty-Seven; Twenty-Eight; Twenty-Nine; Thirty; Thirty-One; Thirty-Two
Jaejoong woke to the sound of water, surrounded by a grey skyscape curling around glass walls. Winter fought with the onrush of spring, refusing to give up her grip on the clouds, pulling moisture down to douse the growing warmth on the ground. Lightning crackled across the far hills’ horizon, a flash of white spider webs spraying the tree tops with a silvery glow.
Stretching, Jae winced, the spot between his shoulder blades raw from Yunho’s ravaging teeth. He felt an ache along his back, churning down to a slow burn inside of his guts, his core spread hot from Yunho’s length. Small pangs ranged bright over his nerves, muscles throbbing from being bent in ways he’d not even imagined before last night. Sighing, the singer pulled one of the Yunho-scented pillows free from underneath him, cradling the feather down to his belly. A throbbing twinge poked at Jaejoong’s neck, his fingers finding the rise of a bruising welt, more evidence of Yunho’s biting during the intensity they shared.
Turning his head, Jae was disappointed to discover the bed was empty, save a discarded pair of briefs and a disarray of pillows. The sound of the pounding rain masked the quiet shush of the shower heads in the bathroom, a small bank of steam creeping out of the open bathroom door. Resting his cheek on the mattress, Jae wondered how long his lover had been in the shower, Yunho’s lengthy stays under the hot water legendary in their apartment. Digging around through the sheets, his body burrowed under their musky cotton, Jaejoong lay quiet, stretching his arms out over the bed and letting the last of the tension in his nerves leak free.
Something hard dug into his thigh, a curious edged cold on his warm skin. Mostly unwilling to see what it was, Jae moved over an inch, creeping his hips up and sliding over, settling back down onto the flat mattress. His eyes closed, Jae listened to the symphony of rain hit the nearby glass, the sounds of the sky’s torment filtering in through small protected windows set above their bed. He reveled in the feel of his naked body against the sheets, wondering if the hotel would notice a missing sheet or pillow.
A deep bass note rumbled in Jae’s belly, Yunho’s nearly inaudible singing prodding Jaejoong back to wakefulness. The leader ran through the melody of a nearly forgotten love song, a romantic tale of love lost and then found anew. Smiling against the softness of the cotton sheets, Jaejoong slid from the mattress, intent on padding to the bathroom to listen to his lover croon. His body did ache, in places tucked deep but the shimmer of discomfort paled in comparison to the hugs Yunho wove onto his heart.
Familiar trilling caught Jaejoong in mid-step, his cell phone’s chirruping ring tone calling out to him as he passed. Finding his jeans proved to be problematic, lost under the coverlets they’d tossed off the bed during their lovemaking. The phone gave one lasting gasp for attention then went silent, nearly as soon as Jaejoong’s fingers slid into his pocket, the blinking voice mail light winking a green baleful glare. Flipping the phone open, Jae stared down at the call back number, the blood draining from his face.
Turning the phone over, Jae double checked to see if he’d grabbed the right pair of jeans, or somehow mistakenly found Yunho’s phone instead but the black cross vinyl sticker on the back told him otherwise. His stomach dropped, guts churned into a tight knot at the number scrolling over the screen.
A hot drip of water struck Jae on the shoulder, startling him. His phone flew from his hand, striking the side of the bed, bouncing down to the carpet. Yunho leaned against his lover, crouching behind him, knees tucked up into the back of Jaejoong’s lean thighs. Sucking on a spot, Yunho was sure he missed, he failed to see the astonished shock in his lover’s face. Somewhere on the carpet, Jae’s cell phone beeped, a forlorn reminder of a lost opportunity to speak to someone who’d brought Yunho into the world.
“Who called?” Yunho grinned, resisting the urge to add more reddened welts along the curve of Jaejoong’s spine. Several small dots were darkening to a plum stain on the singer’s ribs, a memory of a rough nibbling from Yunho’s voracious mouth. “One of the members?”
“No. It wasn’t anyone.” Jae stumbled over the lie, his eyes expressive and worried. The deception didn’t sit easily in his soul, concern making him look away from Yunho’s piercing stare. “I think it was a wrong number.”
Yunho tilted his face back, cupping his lover’s chin and stared down into the startled beauty he found there. The leader found something he didn’t like lurking in those amber-shared depths, subterfuge lying on top of a layer of guilt and longing. Yunho pursed his lips, rubbing at the shiver of gooseflesh crawling over Jae’s bare legs. Spotting the discarded phone, the leader grabbed at it, checking the number in a slow crawl over the LED screen.
He stood, pacing away from Jaejoong in a few strides, a hotel towel firm around his lean hips. The resort’s golden crest dimpled one corner, a flash of bright incongruously dangling near the leader’s thigh. Anger rode him, as quickly as pleasure had a few moments before, a sour bile he couldn’t clear from his throat. Fingers clenched tight on the phone, Yunho turned around, his eyes narrowed.
“When were you going to tell me that my mother called you?”
Yunho’s accusatory tone hit Jaejoong full in the face, the singer flinching as if his lover’s hand struck him to the bone. Jae promised himself he wouldn’t doubt this… the precious little time that they were able to hide away from the world and be together. The singer set his jaw, refusing to take the anger frothing from Yunho’s tight, tensed body. Fists clenched at his waist, Yunho advanced, trying to find the words amid the storm in his mind.
His mother. Or at least someone calling from her phone. More than likely her. And trying to reach Jaejoong while Yunho’s own phone, fully charged and silent, no telltale beeping of a voice message. Silence was more damning than the retorting denial he’d expected from the mercurial singer, Yunho stopping after a few steps.
The rage in his heart fled at the arrogant tilt of his lover’s chin, Jaejoong daring to be castigated. Fragile and delicately-boned, the singer was made of firmer grit than Yunho often gave him credit for, the cold, shy brittleness masking a wild and free depth. Sighing, he shrugged to loosen his pent-up nerves, joints screamed, reminding Yunho of the night spent barely sleeping and tasting every inch of the man now sitting on the edge of the bed.
He didn’t know what to do...what to say to the defiant Jaejoong, the beautiful pout firmed into a uncompromising line. The willing, malleable lover from last night had been replaced by another mask, headstrong and stubborn, easily prodded into a vicious fit of words if handled wrong. Yunho knew Jae well, and sometimes holding his own with this particular side of Jaejoong didn’t always turn out well for him. Yunho wasn’t ready to risk the fragile bonds they’d forged through the night, each precious link hammered strong with every kiss they shared. Still, Yunho’s emotions ran hot at his parents trying to reach him through Jaejoong...or worse yet, harm Jae into pulling away from him. That thought left him dead cold, a frigid glacier freezing his heart.
“There can’t be any secrets between us, Boo.” Jae leaned into the cup of Yunho’s hand when the other man lifted his palm to the singer’s cheek, Yunho drawn closer to crouch between his lover’s splayed knees. Forgiveness was in the gesture, an acceptance of Yunho’s unspoken contriteness. “No secrets, alright? If this is going to work between us, we can’t hide anything from each other. No tucking away the bad things because I know that they are going to be there.”
Jaejoong leaned back onto his hands, head dropped and to one side, pulling away from Yunho’s familiar caress. “You’re probably going to get tired of dealing with all the bad that happens to me.”
“Sometimes, yeah... I probably will.” Yunho gripped at the phone, trying to keep his temper down. It chewed at him, a gnawing flare of wind begging to whip around Jae with sharp teeth. “Boojae, we have to trust every part of our lives with the other or we might as well not go any further. Do you want that?”
“No.” Anguish tore through the singer, his throat raw from his stomach flipping over. “I can’t… live without you…in my life. In me.”
“I can’t live without you either. You have to tell me... about these things. Especially when my mother calls you.” And I have to be as honest with you. We only have each other in this.” Yunho stared down at the cell phone, an electronic snake with fangs prepared to bite him. “Did you listen to the message? Did you hear what she wanted from you?”
“No, you came out before I…” Jae trailed off, his words mumbling as he contemplated his lover’s hands, Yunho’s fingers making a series of quick taps on the dial pad. Purchasing the pair had been a secret thrill, a decision Jae was beginning to regret as Yunho erased the waiting message. “Yunho, that might have been important!”
“She should call me if it was important.” Yunho pointed out, lightly tapping the phone against the singer’s chest. “I don’t hear my phone beeping and it’s right by your feet, under the blankets somewhere.”
“Maybe she’s afraid to talk to you.” Jaejoong’s fingers were tangled in Yunho’s left hand, the leader standing to tug the singer to his feet. “She could have been calling me…”
“She’s calling you to get to me…either for the good or for the bad.” Yunho shook his head, sliding behind the other man, nudging him towards the bathroom where the water still ran hot in the enormous tiled shower. “If she wants to apologize to me, she can call me. I told my parents what I expected from them…to take them back into my life.”
“My mother calling you…that’s unacceptable. I won’t let you become a pawn in their game to manipulate me. I would rather it just be the two of us alone at the end of our lives than surrounded by caustic bitterness because of who I love.” Behind him, Yunho slid his arms around Jae’s waist, an intimate gesture calming the singer’s ruffled nerves. “They have to accept you…as my boyfriend… as my lover… as the man I am going to wake up to for the rest of my life. I don’t expect them to beg. I can forgive them anything that they’ve said to me…but not to you. Never to you.”
“Okay?” The leader shuffled forward, pushing Jae in front of him with little hopping steps. Reluctantly, the singer moved, his naked body responding at the feel of Yunho along his back and thighs. The towel’s rough plush sang over his sensitive skin, Jae’s bobbing shaft hardening slowly.
“I can walk.” The pout was back, sensual and hot. Grinning at the coyness, Yunho hooked his hand into Jaejoong’s, tugging at the singer’s reluctance.
“Come take a shower with me.” Yunho urged softly, his long body aroused just by the scent of his own musk on his lover’s skin.
Yunho’s touch shivered a chill under Jaejoong’s bare feet. A fog of hot want floated onto the singer’s bare body, Yunho kissing the nape of the singer’s neck just as he felt the singer reaching towards his waist, undoing the towel around his waist. Allowing the cloth to slither to the floor, the young man turned to find Jaejoong pressed up next to him, a kiss waiting on the singer’s mouth. Falling back onto the bed, Jaejoong reached for his lover when Yunho covered him, canting his hips to fit the other man into the hollows of his body. The mattress gave slightly under their weight, the feather top absorbing most of the shock. The phones were forgotten, lost in the push of desire in their hearts and souls.
“I want this.” Jaejoong gasped, finding Yunho’s mouth again and suckling the breath from it. “I want the taste of you to erase anything outside of us. I want the feel of you… the thickness of you inside of me until I can’t feel him any more. I want to take every bit of my body and rub it against you so all that is left is you…the taste of you. The feel of you. Everything about you.”
Another kiss, deeper and hitting something primal inside of Jaejoong he didn’t even realize lay beneath the churning surface of his thoughts. He wanted his lover in ways that made him ache and Yunho’s answering rake of teeth over Jaejoong’s nipple enflamed the uncontrollable inferno scorching its way through his bones.
“Say you want this too, Yunnie-ah.” Working his hands into his lover’s silken mane, Jaejoong tugged lightly under Yunho’s desire-darkened eyes peered up at him from under thick sooty lashes, head bowed and intent on the hammering pulse working under Jaejoong’s skin. “I want to hear you say…something. Do I make you as crazy as you make me?”
“I want you. I love you.” Yunho’s husky smoke of a whisper flared. Swallowing at his desire, Yunho looked deep into his lover’s face, seeing the want reflected there, an ache to leave Jaejoong panting on the bed growling up from his soul. The desire threatened to choke him, he murmured. “I wants this. I…love…making you tremble. Every time you touch me, I die inside because I know that if I touch you, because I think that I could have missed having you because I was an idiot… and you could have felt someone else’s hands instead of mine. And that would kill me.”
Tears hovered at the edge of Yunho’s lashes, his face contorted with the effort of staving their fall. Canting his head back, the leader brushed a tender kiss on his lover’s cheek, savouring the dappled light across the rise of his bone. His words were knotted inside of themselves, language lost under the rush of want pounding in him. “I feel you, Boojae, in my marrow. I want to take whatever stained you and erase it. And I can’t. I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. Even when I’ve been at my worst, I never felt as helpless as I do now when thinking about the evil your father did to you…looking at the rents in your soul and I can’t stitch you together to heal your wounds.”
“You’re wrong.” Jaejoong matched Yunho’s whisper, nearly lost under the crackle of thunder overhead. The muted sun peeking out from under the clouds, nearly lost in the downpour, leaving only the flickering lightning to chase the dampness away. “You’ve healed me. You hold me together sometimes when I feel like my body has cracked open and my guts are pouring from every crevice and cavity.“
“There are times, Yunho, when I wish I could feel your hands inside of me just so I know that I’m not alone…that there’s something else in this world besides me trying to hold myself in and then I remember that you do…that you are and that everything will be alright.” Yunho murmured a reply, lost in the slither of his mouth on Jae’s shoulder, kissing the delicate dip of bone. “You keep the monsters in my soul away, driving them back into the darkness that they live in. Yunnie-ah, you remind me every day that I’m not alone.”
“Every waking moment that you’re with me…and some times when you’re not, I know I’m not alone.” Jaejoong’s heart clenched at the feel of Yunho’s eyes on his face. ”I can’t look at a box of crayons without thinking of you because you’ve made me see rainbows. Or smell green tea and hear you in my mind. And that makes me smile. Like nothing else before has made me smile.”
“My father…might have made me…carved me out of my body using his blood as the chisel but you… Yunnie-ah… you’ve refined me. He left nothing but a block of quivering nothingness. It was you that took me out of that slab and molded me.” Jaejoong cupped his lover’s face, their mouths a scant distance apart. Yunho’s tongue ran along the very tip of his upper lip, searing its moistness into the rise of Jaejoong’s mouth. “I love you. And I know you love me. I’ve never doubted that. From the moment you called me lover, I knew that you were mine.”
“I am.” Yunho brought his head forward, their foreheads touching. “I will always be yours. No matter where you are…no matter what you are doing and what you have, you will always have me.”
“We are… ours.” Jaejoong stumbled over the word, bringing a smile to Yunho’s full mouth. “You and I. We’re our family. Our bloodline. Ours alone.”
The swaddling sheets melted from their bodies, torn free off the bed by Jaejoong’s impatient hands. Yunho laughed, a full throaty roar of a sound when a piece of cotton refused to give way under the singer’s tugging, finally lifting his hips to help Jaejoong work the covers free of his leg. Sitting back on his haunches, the younger singer drank in the sight of his lover, running a gentle finger over the small semi-circular scar on his hipbone, a remnant of a life spent with people who nursed a young boy into a man. Yunho returned the attention with his own, using his tongue to find the depths of Jaejoong’s body. Each curve along the singer’s abdomen moistened beneath his travels, a gentle nip on the side turning rougher when Jaejoong’s body grew rampant at the bite.
“Turn around.” Jaejoong pushed on his lover’s unmoving shoulders. “There’s something I’ve always wanted to do.”
Another cock of his head and Yunho acquiesced, shifting so Jaejoong had access to his back. Curving Yunho’s hair around his fingers and sliding it around under his palm, the singer studied the spread of skin winging over Yunho’s shoulder blades, the lower muscles curling down to shelter the dip of his spine. Coming up onto his knees, Jaejoong bent down, bringing his mouth down on the slender juncture between the other’s shoulder blades.
Jae took his time, finding the delicate lines enrapturing. Tasting, swallowing every millimeter of pain and dreams under Yunho’s skin, Jaejoong finally bit down to suckle in his lover’s strength. His cock grew heavy when Yunho’s hands reached behind his back, clenching down on Jaejoong’s upper thigh muscles until the need between them burst apart.
Swinging around, the leader pulled his older lover down onto the pillows, capturing his mouth in a ravenous kiss, bruising Jaejoong’s lips with a ferocity the singer hadn’t imagined Yunho possessed. Tugging Yunho’s face down, hands wrapped in his silky mane, Jaejoong arched his back when Yunho’s fingers ran down between his legs. Panting, the young singer paused, trying to catch his breath and thoughts before they ran away from him.
“I do not want to rush…” Yunho’s teeth once again found Jaejoong’s throat, raking and biting, finding purchase after purchase until the singer wanted to scream. “You might be too…tender from last night. It would dig into my soul if I… caused you pain.”
“If you don’t do something soon, there won’t be much left of me to rush.” Growling, Jaejoong swore under his breath. “We need… more gel...oil, whatever that stuff is called. Yoochun calls it…”
“Now’s not the time to bring up Chunnie-ah. As much as I love him, now… not the time, Boo.” Yunho’s eyes bled out all vestige of control from them. Raising his hand, the leader sucked down on his fingertips, spit welling and filling the ridges of his prints. The plastic hardness on Jae’s hip earlier turned out to be the lubricant Yunho brought with him, a final push of gel slaked free from the tube. Teeth bared, Yunho dipped his hand down, pressing on the rosette of Jaejoong’s body until the singer spread his legs, instinct kicking in under his lover’s touch.
The spit and gel, warmed from Yunho’s body, slid around the crest of Jaejoong’s inner crevice, cheeks clenched at the slight intrusion of finger tips before a gentle push slid Yunho just beyond the ridge. Gasping, Jae gripped his lover’s shoulders, raising his legs up and apart and panted harder. He could hear someone begging… his own distant voice lost in the rushing roar of his own blood filling his ears and after another insistent sliding forward, Yunho’s fingers parted him. Waiting, the leader pressed further in when Jaejoong slide down further, working down upon Yunho’s hand until the singer could feel the webbing against the rise of his body.
“You’re not going to hurt me. I promise.” Jaejoong rasped, his hips twitching. Yunho’s mouth slid down over his chest, finding the nub of flesh and working it between clenched teeth. “Please, I can’t… just please.”
Turgid, Yunho’s flesh brushed hard up against the inside of Jaejoong’s thigh. Reaching down, Jaejoong brushed the tip of it, finding the head moistened with a drop of pearl. After rubbing the liquid into Yunho’s skin with his thumb, Jaejoong lifted the moistness to his mouth, drawing the salty sweetness of his lover over his tongue. Yunho’s fingers fell away, and a pressing hot push filled Jaejoong’s awareness. Yunho’s hands slid under his lover’s legs, pulling them carefully up over his shoulders. Leaning over, the leader laid a gentle kiss on Jaejoong’s mouth and guided himself in, stroking at the other’s silky nest until the rosette below sighed and opened.
The head slid in, heated by the slick gel and spit left by Yunho’s ministrations. Jaejoong gasped and shut his eyes, waiting for his body to adjust to the opening of his flesh. Stilled by his lover’s murmured distress, Yunho waiting, pillared with need for the young man laying beneath him. Jaejoong’s exhorts to go forward emboldened Yunho, his shoulder muscles working to support the leader’s weight. Jae felt Yunho sliding deep inside of him, each thrust bringing his lover that much closer to filling him.
“Lover...” A single word, carried everything inside of it, Jae’s husky mewl weaving a seductive ribbon around Yunho’s heart. “How many times can I say please?”
Crawling up from the depths of Yunho’s heart, it filled Jaejoong nearly as much as the length of Yunho’s body. Tingles built on each wave of sensation, the sounds of Yunho’s breathing mingled with his own and then the day stretched out before them, minutes bleeding away beneath them. Their bodies melded, sweat binding them as their souls reached out and wrapped around one another.
It took them both by surprise, the losing of their control. For the longest time, neither of them wanted to give in to that sensation…the building and cresting of their bodies’ seed spilling loose. Gritting his teeth, Yunho watched Jaejoong’s face, his hands roaming over the singer’s hips and gripping tightly, raising him up to meet each thrust.
Unable to take the overwhelming tide of emotions, Jaejoong’s fists clenched, working at the sheets under his fingers and cried out, taking his lover over the edge of reason. Dropping down, Yunho’s mouth found Jaejoong’s, drawing out one final kiss as he released, cradling his lover close to his body as they shuddered inside each other’s arms.
Panting, hair beaded with sweat, Jaejoong pressed his face into the crook of Yunho’s neck, licking the salt away from his lover’s skin with a gentle press of his lips. Jae’s body convulsed as Yunho slid free, leaving behind an emptiness that filled immediately with the tender love from Yunho’s kiss on his nose. The flat of Jaejoong’s hand rested on Yunho’s stomach, lifting with each breath the leader took. Outside, the storm continued to rage, the pounding rain splattering on the window glass but its sounds were still lost to the spent passion the lovers shared. The thick wooden awning outside the slanted open windows protected their dry solitude, tall trees creaking with a gust of wind.
“Thank you.” Propped up on one elbow, Jaejoong raked his own razor-cut black hair out of his face, sliding his hand in a languid caress over Yunho’s chest. “For everything… for making everything right. Inside of me. Outside of me. Every where.”
“You’ve done it for me too.” Yunho’s index finger outlined the purpling bruise he left behind when he bit down on Jaejoong’s jugular, the mark scored when his body finally gave into the demands of Jaejoong’s writhing. “Do you think we should check the closet for your monsters…before we fall asleep? Isn’t that where they’re supposed to hide?”
“Maybe later.” Sliding back down to rest against his lover’s sweaty body, Jaejoong sighed, letting sleep tug at his consciousness. “The rain can’t get in. And the monsters can’t get out. Life is good. Let them think they’ve got a chance for a few hours. We can kick their asses later. I’m just glad you’re here for me.”
“Always here for you.” Yunho’s long arm reached down, one arm tucked under his lover’s now sleeping body. Taking one last lingering look at the closet, a soft smile on his face, Yunho turned his back to it, wrapping his other arm about Jaejoong’s chest and pulling him into a tighter embrace, finally giving himself over to a sleep rising deep from his calmed soul. “Sleep, baby. I’m here.”
WARNING: FULL LEMON
Pairing: JaeHo
Rating: NC-17!... This section contains graphic sexual content.
This fanfic brought to you by the numbers 33 and 5 and by the LJ user Ranalore.
Summary: The beginning of a shifting relationship. Hot Korean boys. Sex. Dancing and some angry words. Not necessarily in that order. Not necessarily in each section.
Previous Sections:
One; Two; Three; Four; Five; Six; Seven; Eight; Nine; Ten; Eleven; Twelve; Thirteen; Fourteen; Fifteen; Sixteen; Seventeen; Eighteen; Nineteen; Twenty; Twenty-One; Twenty-Two; Twenty-Three; Twenty-Four; Twenty-Five; Twenty-Six; Twenty-Seven; Twenty-Eight; Twenty-Nine; Thirty; Thirty-One; Thirty-Two
Jaejoong woke to the sound of water, surrounded by a grey skyscape curling around glass walls. Winter fought with the onrush of spring, refusing to give up her grip on the clouds, pulling moisture down to douse the growing warmth on the ground. Lightning crackled across the far hills’ horizon, a flash of white spider webs spraying the tree tops with a silvery glow.
Stretching, Jae winced, the spot between his shoulder blades raw from Yunho’s ravaging teeth. He felt an ache along his back, churning down to a slow burn inside of his guts, his core spread hot from Yunho’s length. Small pangs ranged bright over his nerves, muscles throbbing from being bent in ways he’d not even imagined before last night. Sighing, the singer pulled one of the Yunho-scented pillows free from underneath him, cradling the feather down to his belly. A throbbing twinge poked at Jaejoong’s neck, his fingers finding the rise of a bruising welt, more evidence of Yunho’s biting during the intensity they shared.
Turning his head, Jae was disappointed to discover the bed was empty, save a discarded pair of briefs and a disarray of pillows. The sound of the pounding rain masked the quiet shush of the shower heads in the bathroom, a small bank of steam creeping out of the open bathroom door. Resting his cheek on the mattress, Jae wondered how long his lover had been in the shower, Yunho’s lengthy stays under the hot water legendary in their apartment. Digging around through the sheets, his body burrowed under their musky cotton, Jaejoong lay quiet, stretching his arms out over the bed and letting the last of the tension in his nerves leak free.
Something hard dug into his thigh, a curious edged cold on his warm skin. Mostly unwilling to see what it was, Jae moved over an inch, creeping his hips up and sliding over, settling back down onto the flat mattress. His eyes closed, Jae listened to the symphony of rain hit the nearby glass, the sounds of the sky’s torment filtering in through small protected windows set above their bed. He reveled in the feel of his naked body against the sheets, wondering if the hotel would notice a missing sheet or pillow.
A deep bass note rumbled in Jae’s belly, Yunho’s nearly inaudible singing prodding Jaejoong back to wakefulness. The leader ran through the melody of a nearly forgotten love song, a romantic tale of love lost and then found anew. Smiling against the softness of the cotton sheets, Jaejoong slid from the mattress, intent on padding to the bathroom to listen to his lover croon. His body did ache, in places tucked deep but the shimmer of discomfort paled in comparison to the hugs Yunho wove onto his heart.
Familiar trilling caught Jaejoong in mid-step, his cell phone’s chirruping ring tone calling out to him as he passed. Finding his jeans proved to be problematic, lost under the coverlets they’d tossed off the bed during their lovemaking. The phone gave one lasting gasp for attention then went silent, nearly as soon as Jaejoong’s fingers slid into his pocket, the blinking voice mail light winking a green baleful glare. Flipping the phone open, Jae stared down at the call back number, the blood draining from his face.
Turning the phone over, Jae double checked to see if he’d grabbed the right pair of jeans, or somehow mistakenly found Yunho’s phone instead but the black cross vinyl sticker on the back told him otherwise. His stomach dropped, guts churned into a tight knot at the number scrolling over the screen.
A hot drip of water struck Jae on the shoulder, startling him. His phone flew from his hand, striking the side of the bed, bouncing down to the carpet. Yunho leaned against his lover, crouching behind him, knees tucked up into the back of Jaejoong’s lean thighs. Sucking on a spot, Yunho was sure he missed, he failed to see the astonished shock in his lover’s face. Somewhere on the carpet, Jae’s cell phone beeped, a forlorn reminder of a lost opportunity to speak to someone who’d brought Yunho into the world.
“Who called?” Yunho grinned, resisting the urge to add more reddened welts along the curve of Jaejoong’s spine. Several small dots were darkening to a plum stain on the singer’s ribs, a memory of a rough nibbling from Yunho’s voracious mouth. “One of the members?”
“No. It wasn’t anyone.” Jae stumbled over the lie, his eyes expressive and worried. The deception didn’t sit easily in his soul, concern making him look away from Yunho’s piercing stare. “I think it was a wrong number.”
Yunho tilted his face back, cupping his lover’s chin and stared down into the startled beauty he found there. The leader found something he didn’t like lurking in those amber-shared depths, subterfuge lying on top of a layer of guilt and longing. Yunho pursed his lips, rubbing at the shiver of gooseflesh crawling over Jae’s bare legs. Spotting the discarded phone, the leader grabbed at it, checking the number in a slow crawl over the LED screen.
He stood, pacing away from Jaejoong in a few strides, a hotel towel firm around his lean hips. The resort’s golden crest dimpled one corner, a flash of bright incongruously dangling near the leader’s thigh. Anger rode him, as quickly as pleasure had a few moments before, a sour bile he couldn’t clear from his throat. Fingers clenched tight on the phone, Yunho turned around, his eyes narrowed.
“When were you going to tell me that my mother called you?”
Yunho’s accusatory tone hit Jaejoong full in the face, the singer flinching as if his lover’s hand struck him to the bone. Jae promised himself he wouldn’t doubt this… the precious little time that they were able to hide away from the world and be together. The singer set his jaw, refusing to take the anger frothing from Yunho’s tight, tensed body. Fists clenched at his waist, Yunho advanced, trying to find the words amid the storm in his mind.
His mother. Or at least someone calling from her phone. More than likely her. And trying to reach Jaejoong while Yunho’s own phone, fully charged and silent, no telltale beeping of a voice message. Silence was more damning than the retorting denial he’d expected from the mercurial singer, Yunho stopping after a few steps.
The rage in his heart fled at the arrogant tilt of his lover’s chin, Jaejoong daring to be castigated. Fragile and delicately-boned, the singer was made of firmer grit than Yunho often gave him credit for, the cold, shy brittleness masking a wild and free depth. Sighing, he shrugged to loosen his pent-up nerves, joints screamed, reminding Yunho of the night spent barely sleeping and tasting every inch of the man now sitting on the edge of the bed.
He didn’t know what to do...what to say to the defiant Jaejoong, the beautiful pout firmed into a uncompromising line. The willing, malleable lover from last night had been replaced by another mask, headstrong and stubborn, easily prodded into a vicious fit of words if handled wrong. Yunho knew Jae well, and sometimes holding his own with this particular side of Jaejoong didn’t always turn out well for him. Yunho wasn’t ready to risk the fragile bonds they’d forged through the night, each precious link hammered strong with every kiss they shared. Still, Yunho’s emotions ran hot at his parents trying to reach him through Jaejoong...or worse yet, harm Jae into pulling away from him. That thought left him dead cold, a frigid glacier freezing his heart.
“There can’t be any secrets between us, Boo.” Jae leaned into the cup of Yunho’s hand when the other man lifted his palm to the singer’s cheek, Yunho drawn closer to crouch between his lover’s splayed knees. Forgiveness was in the gesture, an acceptance of Yunho’s unspoken contriteness. “No secrets, alright? If this is going to work between us, we can’t hide anything from each other. No tucking away the bad things because I know that they are going to be there.”
Jaejoong leaned back onto his hands, head dropped and to one side, pulling away from Yunho’s familiar caress. “You’re probably going to get tired of dealing with all the bad that happens to me.”
“Sometimes, yeah... I probably will.” Yunho gripped at the phone, trying to keep his temper down. It chewed at him, a gnawing flare of wind begging to whip around Jae with sharp teeth. “Boojae, we have to trust every part of our lives with the other or we might as well not go any further. Do you want that?”
“No.” Anguish tore through the singer, his throat raw from his stomach flipping over. “I can’t… live without you…in my life. In me.”
“I can’t live without you either. You have to tell me... about these things. Especially when my mother calls you.” And I have to be as honest with you. We only have each other in this.” Yunho stared down at the cell phone, an electronic snake with fangs prepared to bite him. “Did you listen to the message? Did you hear what she wanted from you?”
“No, you came out before I…” Jae trailed off, his words mumbling as he contemplated his lover’s hands, Yunho’s fingers making a series of quick taps on the dial pad. Purchasing the pair had been a secret thrill, a decision Jae was beginning to regret as Yunho erased the waiting message. “Yunho, that might have been important!”
“She should call me if it was important.” Yunho pointed out, lightly tapping the phone against the singer’s chest. “I don’t hear my phone beeping and it’s right by your feet, under the blankets somewhere.”
“Maybe she’s afraid to talk to you.” Jaejoong’s fingers were tangled in Yunho’s left hand, the leader standing to tug the singer to his feet. “She could have been calling me…”
“She’s calling you to get to me…either for the good or for the bad.” Yunho shook his head, sliding behind the other man, nudging him towards the bathroom where the water still ran hot in the enormous tiled shower. “If she wants to apologize to me, she can call me. I told my parents what I expected from them…to take them back into my life.”
“My mother calling you…that’s unacceptable. I won’t let you become a pawn in their game to manipulate me. I would rather it just be the two of us alone at the end of our lives than surrounded by caustic bitterness because of who I love.” Behind him, Yunho slid his arms around Jae’s waist, an intimate gesture calming the singer’s ruffled nerves. “They have to accept you…as my boyfriend… as my lover… as the man I am going to wake up to for the rest of my life. I don’t expect them to beg. I can forgive them anything that they’ve said to me…but not to you. Never to you.”
“Okay?” The leader shuffled forward, pushing Jae in front of him with little hopping steps. Reluctantly, the singer moved, his naked body responding at the feel of Yunho along his back and thighs. The towel’s rough plush sang over his sensitive skin, Jae’s bobbing shaft hardening slowly.
“I can walk.” The pout was back, sensual and hot. Grinning at the coyness, Yunho hooked his hand into Jaejoong’s, tugging at the singer’s reluctance.
“Come take a shower with me.” Yunho urged softly, his long body aroused just by the scent of his own musk on his lover’s skin.
Yunho’s touch shivered a chill under Jaejoong’s bare feet. A fog of hot want floated onto the singer’s bare body, Yunho kissing the nape of the singer’s neck just as he felt the singer reaching towards his waist, undoing the towel around his waist. Allowing the cloth to slither to the floor, the young man turned to find Jaejoong pressed up next to him, a kiss waiting on the singer’s mouth. Falling back onto the bed, Jaejoong reached for his lover when Yunho covered him, canting his hips to fit the other man into the hollows of his body. The mattress gave slightly under their weight, the feather top absorbing most of the shock. The phones were forgotten, lost in the push of desire in their hearts and souls.
“I want this.” Jaejoong gasped, finding Yunho’s mouth again and suckling the breath from it. “I want the taste of you to erase anything outside of us. I want the feel of you… the thickness of you inside of me until I can’t feel him any more. I want to take every bit of my body and rub it against you so all that is left is you…the taste of you. The feel of you. Everything about you.”
Another kiss, deeper and hitting something primal inside of Jaejoong he didn’t even realize lay beneath the churning surface of his thoughts. He wanted his lover in ways that made him ache and Yunho’s answering rake of teeth over Jaejoong’s nipple enflamed the uncontrollable inferno scorching its way through his bones.
“Say you want this too, Yunnie-ah.” Working his hands into his lover’s silken mane, Jaejoong tugged lightly under Yunho’s desire-darkened eyes peered up at him from under thick sooty lashes, head bowed and intent on the hammering pulse working under Jaejoong’s skin. “I want to hear you say…something. Do I make you as crazy as you make me?”
“I want you. I love you.” Yunho’s husky smoke of a whisper flared. Swallowing at his desire, Yunho looked deep into his lover’s face, seeing the want reflected there, an ache to leave Jaejoong panting on the bed growling up from his soul. The desire threatened to choke him, he murmured. “I wants this. I…love…making you tremble. Every time you touch me, I die inside because I know that if I touch you, because I think that I could have missed having you because I was an idiot… and you could have felt someone else’s hands instead of mine. And that would kill me.”
Tears hovered at the edge of Yunho’s lashes, his face contorted with the effort of staving their fall. Canting his head back, the leader brushed a tender kiss on his lover’s cheek, savouring the dappled light across the rise of his bone. His words were knotted inside of themselves, language lost under the rush of want pounding in him. “I feel you, Boojae, in my marrow. I want to take whatever stained you and erase it. And I can’t. I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. Even when I’ve been at my worst, I never felt as helpless as I do now when thinking about the evil your father did to you…looking at the rents in your soul and I can’t stitch you together to heal your wounds.”
“You’re wrong.” Jaejoong matched Yunho’s whisper, nearly lost under the crackle of thunder overhead. The muted sun peeking out from under the clouds, nearly lost in the downpour, leaving only the flickering lightning to chase the dampness away. “You’ve healed me. You hold me together sometimes when I feel like my body has cracked open and my guts are pouring from every crevice and cavity.“
“There are times, Yunho, when I wish I could feel your hands inside of me just so I know that I’m not alone…that there’s something else in this world besides me trying to hold myself in and then I remember that you do…that you are and that everything will be alright.” Yunho murmured a reply, lost in the slither of his mouth on Jae’s shoulder, kissing the delicate dip of bone. “You keep the monsters in my soul away, driving them back into the darkness that they live in. Yunnie-ah, you remind me every day that I’m not alone.”
“Every waking moment that you’re with me…and some times when you’re not, I know I’m not alone.” Jaejoong’s heart clenched at the feel of Yunho’s eyes on his face. ”I can’t look at a box of crayons without thinking of you because you’ve made me see rainbows. Or smell green tea and hear you in my mind. And that makes me smile. Like nothing else before has made me smile.”
“My father…might have made me…carved me out of my body using his blood as the chisel but you… Yunnie-ah… you’ve refined me. He left nothing but a block of quivering nothingness. It was you that took me out of that slab and molded me.” Jaejoong cupped his lover’s face, their mouths a scant distance apart. Yunho’s tongue ran along the very tip of his upper lip, searing its moistness into the rise of Jaejoong’s mouth. “I love you. And I know you love me. I’ve never doubted that. From the moment you called me lover, I knew that you were mine.”
“I am.” Yunho brought his head forward, their foreheads touching. “I will always be yours. No matter where you are…no matter what you are doing and what you have, you will always have me.”
“We are… ours.” Jaejoong stumbled over the word, bringing a smile to Yunho’s full mouth. “You and I. We’re our family. Our bloodline. Ours alone.”
The swaddling sheets melted from their bodies, torn free off the bed by Jaejoong’s impatient hands. Yunho laughed, a full throaty roar of a sound when a piece of cotton refused to give way under the singer’s tugging, finally lifting his hips to help Jaejoong work the covers free of his leg. Sitting back on his haunches, the younger singer drank in the sight of his lover, running a gentle finger over the small semi-circular scar on his hipbone, a remnant of a life spent with people who nursed a young boy into a man. Yunho returned the attention with his own, using his tongue to find the depths of Jaejoong’s body. Each curve along the singer’s abdomen moistened beneath his travels, a gentle nip on the side turning rougher when Jaejoong’s body grew rampant at the bite.
“Turn around.” Jaejoong pushed on his lover’s unmoving shoulders. “There’s something I’ve always wanted to do.”
Another cock of his head and Yunho acquiesced, shifting so Jaejoong had access to his back. Curving Yunho’s hair around his fingers and sliding it around under his palm, the singer studied the spread of skin winging over Yunho’s shoulder blades, the lower muscles curling down to shelter the dip of his spine. Coming up onto his knees, Jaejoong bent down, bringing his mouth down on the slender juncture between the other’s shoulder blades.
Jae took his time, finding the delicate lines enrapturing. Tasting, swallowing every millimeter of pain and dreams under Yunho’s skin, Jaejoong finally bit down to suckle in his lover’s strength. His cock grew heavy when Yunho’s hands reached behind his back, clenching down on Jaejoong’s upper thigh muscles until the need between them burst apart.
Swinging around, the leader pulled his older lover down onto the pillows, capturing his mouth in a ravenous kiss, bruising Jaejoong’s lips with a ferocity the singer hadn’t imagined Yunho possessed. Tugging Yunho’s face down, hands wrapped in his silky mane, Jaejoong arched his back when Yunho’s fingers ran down between his legs. Panting, the young singer paused, trying to catch his breath and thoughts before they ran away from him.
“I do not want to rush…” Yunho’s teeth once again found Jaejoong’s throat, raking and biting, finding purchase after purchase until the singer wanted to scream. “You might be too…tender from last night. It would dig into my soul if I… caused you pain.”
“If you don’t do something soon, there won’t be much left of me to rush.” Growling, Jaejoong swore under his breath. “We need… more gel...oil, whatever that stuff is called. Yoochun calls it…”
“Now’s not the time to bring up Chunnie-ah. As much as I love him, now… not the time, Boo.” Yunho’s eyes bled out all vestige of control from them. Raising his hand, the leader sucked down on his fingertips, spit welling and filling the ridges of his prints. The plastic hardness on Jae’s hip earlier turned out to be the lubricant Yunho brought with him, a final push of gel slaked free from the tube. Teeth bared, Yunho dipped his hand down, pressing on the rosette of Jaejoong’s body until the singer spread his legs, instinct kicking in under his lover’s touch.
The spit and gel, warmed from Yunho’s body, slid around the crest of Jaejoong’s inner crevice, cheeks clenched at the slight intrusion of finger tips before a gentle push slid Yunho just beyond the ridge. Gasping, Jae gripped his lover’s shoulders, raising his legs up and apart and panted harder. He could hear someone begging… his own distant voice lost in the rushing roar of his own blood filling his ears and after another insistent sliding forward, Yunho’s fingers parted him. Waiting, the leader pressed further in when Jaejoong slide down further, working down upon Yunho’s hand until the singer could feel the webbing against the rise of his body.
“You’re not going to hurt me. I promise.” Jaejoong rasped, his hips twitching. Yunho’s mouth slid down over his chest, finding the nub of flesh and working it between clenched teeth. “Please, I can’t… just please.”
Turgid, Yunho’s flesh brushed hard up against the inside of Jaejoong’s thigh. Reaching down, Jaejoong brushed the tip of it, finding the head moistened with a drop of pearl. After rubbing the liquid into Yunho’s skin with his thumb, Jaejoong lifted the moistness to his mouth, drawing the salty sweetness of his lover over his tongue. Yunho’s fingers fell away, and a pressing hot push filled Jaejoong’s awareness. Yunho’s hands slid under his lover’s legs, pulling them carefully up over his shoulders. Leaning over, the leader laid a gentle kiss on Jaejoong’s mouth and guided himself in, stroking at the other’s silky nest until the rosette below sighed and opened.
The head slid in, heated by the slick gel and spit left by Yunho’s ministrations. Jaejoong gasped and shut his eyes, waiting for his body to adjust to the opening of his flesh. Stilled by his lover’s murmured distress, Yunho waiting, pillared with need for the young man laying beneath him. Jaejoong’s exhorts to go forward emboldened Yunho, his shoulder muscles working to support the leader’s weight. Jae felt Yunho sliding deep inside of him, each thrust bringing his lover that much closer to filling him.
“Lover...” A single word, carried everything inside of it, Jae’s husky mewl weaving a seductive ribbon around Yunho’s heart. “How many times can I say please?”
Crawling up from the depths of Yunho’s heart, it filled Jaejoong nearly as much as the length of Yunho’s body. Tingles built on each wave of sensation, the sounds of Yunho’s breathing mingled with his own and then the day stretched out before them, minutes bleeding away beneath them. Their bodies melded, sweat binding them as their souls reached out and wrapped around one another.
It took them both by surprise, the losing of their control. For the longest time, neither of them wanted to give in to that sensation…the building and cresting of their bodies’ seed spilling loose. Gritting his teeth, Yunho watched Jaejoong’s face, his hands roaming over the singer’s hips and gripping tightly, raising him up to meet each thrust.
Unable to take the overwhelming tide of emotions, Jaejoong’s fists clenched, working at the sheets under his fingers and cried out, taking his lover over the edge of reason. Dropping down, Yunho’s mouth found Jaejoong’s, drawing out one final kiss as he released, cradling his lover close to his body as they shuddered inside each other’s arms.
Panting, hair beaded with sweat, Jaejoong pressed his face into the crook of Yunho’s neck, licking the salt away from his lover’s skin with a gentle press of his lips. Jae’s body convulsed as Yunho slid free, leaving behind an emptiness that filled immediately with the tender love from Yunho’s kiss on his nose. The flat of Jaejoong’s hand rested on Yunho’s stomach, lifting with each breath the leader took. Outside, the storm continued to rage, the pounding rain splattering on the window glass but its sounds were still lost to the spent passion the lovers shared. The thick wooden awning outside the slanted open windows protected their dry solitude, tall trees creaking with a gust of wind.
“Thank you.” Propped up on one elbow, Jaejoong raked his own razor-cut black hair out of his face, sliding his hand in a languid caress over Yunho’s chest. “For everything… for making everything right. Inside of me. Outside of me. Every where.”
“You’ve done it for me too.” Yunho’s index finger outlined the purpling bruise he left behind when he bit down on Jaejoong’s jugular, the mark scored when his body finally gave into the demands of Jaejoong’s writhing. “Do you think we should check the closet for your monsters…before we fall asleep? Isn’t that where they’re supposed to hide?”
“Maybe later.” Sliding back down to rest against his lover’s sweaty body, Jaejoong sighed, letting sleep tug at his consciousness. “The rain can’t get in. And the monsters can’t get out. Life is good. Let them think they’ve got a chance for a few hours. We can kick their asses later. I’m just glad you’re here for me.”
“Always here for you.” Yunho’s long arm reached down, one arm tucked under his lover’s now sleeping body. Taking one last lingering look at the closet, a soft smile on his face, Yunho turned his back to it, wrapping his other arm about Jaejoong’s chest and pulling him into a tighter embrace, finally giving himself over to a sleep rising deep from his calmed soul. “Sleep, baby. I’m here.”