(Untitled)

[jai_vecu]

"[N]o man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her."
-When Harry Met Sally

More substantial post to come, but what are your thoughts on the above quote?

Comments

[eskimology]

I think you can have a real friendship with someone and also want to have sex with them, I don't think they are mutually exclusive.

But maybe I just don't like the idea that all of my male friends think I'm unattractive?

[jai_vecu]

the quote continues:
"So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?"
"No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too."

damned if you do, etc.

[brownstudy]

The movie itself disproves this: Harry and Sally explicitly do not want to have sex with Marie and Jess, and vice-versa. It's just another example of Nora Ephron emphasising the part of Harry's personality that makes up stupid ideas and then sticks to them: "You can't have great sex with a Sheldon." Of course you can. Harry says he'd be able to tell if a woman faked an orgasm. He can't. Harry also thinks he can identify whether actresses are high- or low-maintenance from watching movies, which makes no sense whatsoever. And so on. None of his stupid ideas have any real merit. And I think Sally telling him so, over and over, contributes like crazy to his character development.

What I like about WHMS... is that it emphasises that men and women should be friends, and are, in fact, capable of it. None of the characters are able to sustain any kind of relationship, romantic or otherwise, with non-friends. Which isn't to say that the screenplay isn't grounded in gender stereotypes.

[ibnfirnas]

You win.

[snazzysnaffy]

Ditto. A little sexual tension is healthy and flattering.

[cacahuate]

I think it underestimates men and relies on really tired gender stereotypes.

[ibnfirnas]

...I was going to say something pithy, but I only have like two guy friends left. Ow. And a couple of those bad friend-breakups had to do with said guys not handling their attraction well

[linettasky]

Much of this, plus a double-helping of my bizarre opinions about monogamy and very liberal opinions about gender.

I started actually writing out that double-helping of opinions, but it's a little too complicated to explain in great detail. So I'll just say: I think that monogamy the way we do it in our society leads to a lot of fuckedupedness around the issues of sex, and who's allowed to sleep with whom when. I also think that gender, the way our society tends to treat it, also leads to a lot of fuckedupedness around those same issues.

And as much as I try to argue that those things can be overcome, and as much as I work towards changing them...the men I've known who wanted to sleep with me and couldn't aren't really my friends anymore.

[phthoggos]

well, it includes the assumption that "be friends with" requires "stop wanting to have sex with."

[maiden_rising]

Also very true.