Comments | jamellalee: The shifting winds of an empath

jamellalee

The shifting winds of an empath

Oct 31, 2009 14:14

Im sitting here on my bed looking out the window. the sky is grey. that kind of grey that says snow is on its way. other than the people on second floor stomping around and the cars driving past all is quiet. lately i havent been able to deal with such silence. but as i am writing this i feel as though a calming wave is washing over me. i can ( Read more... )

Comments 15

08_04_05 December 8 2009, 13:22:47 UTC

ive been thinking alot about you lately. and i tried to get a hold of you a couple weeks back and havent been able to. i kinda need you now. i need to talk to you. so if you get this, i dont care what time of day it is, or what day of the week, please please call me. if i dont answer its cause im at work, but ill get back to you asap. please kate, im begging you.

08_04_05 December 13 2009, 12:58:03 UTC

this isnt right you know? let me just let you in for a minute and tell you what the past 2 weeks or so have been like for me.first off... you remember when i was 16, and you asked me out? we dated til i was almost 17 and you left me. remember?? i waited...i was 18 before i even thought about being with anyone. cause i loved you. you were my entire fucking world. and my world was sooo beautiful then. 2 1/2 years after you left, i gave up and moved on. found someone who filled that void in me. you still didnt come back. we were friends, kinda. it was hard for us to speak, someone always got hurt when we did. so most the time you just didnt bother to call. finally, you came back. but i wasnt ready anymore. my life had changed and i was on a different road. you waited another 2 1/2 years is what you waited for me. and at the end of october, about when you wrote this, you stopped calling me. and i couldnt get ahold of you. can you even imagine what these past few weeks have done??? i tried so hard to get to you. i came back...i was ready. ( ... )

08_04_05 January 13 2010, 13:45:01 UTC

i miss you.

08_04_05 January 26 2010, 16:57:03 UTC

...my birthdays is 4 days. ill be 21. i bet you would say you couldnt believe that. and that you couldnt believe that in 11 days you would be 24. i know because we said the same thing at everyone of our birthdays haha. but, we had plans for this time...i miss you kate. i have been thinking about you alot. and i find that i dont post to my journal anymore, i post to this. but i smelled you yesterday. not sure what that means, but, i swear i smelled you. i read all ur old emails today. i cried. not because its bad, but i laughed. and it made me miss you alot. all your movie quotes. mainly from ones like shrek. lol. and so so many songs. its realy crazy, its been almost 2 months since you've been gone. i wish i could call you. i have found myself trying to do that a few times. like today, im home alone, with nothing to do and you were always good at filling up my spare time. i miss you lots, love you tiger.

08_04_05 February 3 2010, 01:35:42 UTC

here i am again. writing to you because im alone. the past couple days have been hard. lifes been hitting me from angles im not used to. my bday was pretty cool, but everything around me seems to be falling apart. my dads getting worse. he lost his job, so he has no more insurance. which means he cant afford his treatments, and they found another tumor and cancer in his lympnodes or something. idk. he spent a few days in chicago at a specialist but theres not much they can do for him. his kidneys are starting to fail. guess it seems he is getting worse. idk .i still wanna call you, thinking your gonna pick up and tell me its all gonna be alright. its always something isnt it? i miss you. horribly.