Do prostitutes give a "nice face discount" to attractive men?
Cause it wouldn't be right to charge Brad Pitt and Horatio Sanz the same amount, unless she had a fetish for bad actors who play annoying characters...anyway, this is on my mind, and i'll feel better once we have a pow-wow over it.

When I started work almost a month ago I posted an inspirational line on my message board to give courage to myself and those around me; it was a little saying many of us are very familiar with, but only appreciate just how poignant and true it is until we set foot inside a coorporate office as an employee. It reads: I BELIEVE YOU HAVE MY STAPLER ( Read more... )

Ok, kids, to wash away some of that negative energy that was quite literally LEAKING out of my last post, I'm going to let you all in on this top secret game i created that i play when I'm bored and it has never failed to entertain me and make me happy, check this out ( Read more... )

Fuck.
That is all.

More awkwardness at the office today. I had a moment with an attractive employee, i think she's in the accounting department (but i don't know, also for that matter, i don't know her name, so for the sake of this entry lets call her Attractive Employee, AE) and it left me feeling, well, like the social putz that i am. The scene: I'm walking down ( Read more... )

There are times in our lives when we have to step back and take a good hard look at ourselves in the mirror and accept that this just wasn't meant to be. It is indeed a sobering experience for those of us who believe we are invincible, that there is no mountain to steep, no jump to far, no obstacle that cannot be overcome, and no amount of booze ( Read more... )

Ok, every one shut the fuck up, this is important ( Read more... )

As some of you know, I'm a big fan of capital punishment. The problem with capital punishment is that it's gone stale. That's why i've concocted this new idea to put the spice back into it. What it is, rather than a new idea, it's a modification of an old idea for the 21st century. Lets take the old classic death method--stoning- and bring it ( Read more... )

I'd like to welcome to my LJ family Stefani. Stefani, welcome. I suggest you get tested for HIV and before reading making sure you dont have any open wounds on your fingers or eyes- it's just a safety precaution ( Read more... )

Fellow colleagues i have a new theory. Before i present it in all its magnificence, allow me to relate the sequence of events that led this this epiphany ( Read more... )