Can't seem to balance myself between the edges of doom and a realistic point of view. i don't even bother to guess anymore, it never lands on yes or no, i just feel like i'm dying forever, can't find a footing between the next step and where i last fell ( Read more... )

I just talked to mike it totally cheered me up!!!!
You rock mike!!!
Seriously, it was such a silly conversation, it was just what I needed.
I can’t wait to hang out with/harrass mike when I get back to the bay area ;)

Everything feels like it falling down the drain. I feel the angst reflect itself back on me from the shine of the dishes. Frozen at the sink, the only place where I feel like my life is moving. All the pieces are coming together, but the problem this time is the pieces are wrong, there are too many. This puzzle will never be solved, but it’s ( Read more... )

Alright, so I spent like an hour writing a journal entry last night, but I lost it right while I was finishing it up… so I’ll try to sum stuff up and elaborate later.Vi ( Read more... )

ok, not feeling so hurty-hurty in the head and heart not so breaky-breaky. vocabulary could use some refreshing. hmm 3:11am. talked with mel on the phone a good 2 hours while gradually drinking a glass of wine (well, drank it from the bottle, not a glass. yes, very classy...) Not gonna attempt to summarize that convo, as if that's even possible ( Read more... )

i don't even know what to do. too much to do, don't know where to start, IF i should start (will i ever finish? will i go mad before i finish? will i only wear myself out and not even get anything out of it?...the panic-stricken questions go on ( Read more... )

fortune cookie says: "good to begin well, better to end well." well...this *semester* certainly hasn't followed that pattern. grrr. in fact, holy shit the first couple weeks were fucking torture, even worse than this shit ( Read more... )

it's that time of year again ( Read more... )

i think i'm already PMSing again... yeah, that'd make sense since it's been like 28 days since last time. i hate crying. and even more than that i hate *myself* when i'm crying. it just makes me wanna beat myself up. at least in highschool when i got all sad and stuff i just really really wanted someone to hold me. but now, i feel so alone, ( Read more... )

i have so much work to do this week and no time to breath until the weekend. i have no idea who i'm saying goodbye to this week, if anyone at all... cristina, mel, kevin, people from my house... i feel like things will probably end painfully...and i know i won't be lonely when i go back to california, cause i can't wait to see jonathan and mac ( Read more... )