Sooooo... feeling a little overwhelmed today.. have had the same feeling of intensity for the last 4-5 days.. helpless... confused.. desperate... frustrated..... ugh.. just one big tangle of emotions.. and not sure which way to turn, how much to give, how much to risk.....
very cryptic i know, but such is the joys of LJ :)

Life is full of choices... every single day we are faced with decisions to make; big ones, little ones, ones that are life changing, ones that haunt you forever.... Well, here i sit, at 30 years old, constantly afraid that im never going to be able to have any kids. I did get pregnant twice, in the span of 10 months when i was 20-21 and I was too ( Read more... )

SO here we are one year later;) For once in my life i can say i have come full circle and i don't see any chance of going back to where i was at. On march 23rd i celebrated my 1 year 'birthday' of being clean:) Yes, i love saying that. Its such a good feeling to know that I have been on a path of self discovery and personal growth for the last year ( Read more... )

ALright-
Haven't posted on here for awhile again- but  i just wanted to share a positive video i did:) I'm not feeling too positive today, so its probably a good time to watch it lol..
Let me know what you think:)
hope everyone had a good weekend!

www.youtube.com/watch

So its the last of the month.... which means that finally i can give back my keys to the silvercreek apartment today... I would like to thank everyone who gave me a hand in finishing it up- from removing stuff when i first left the bastard to cleaning to patching up the holes to throwing stuff away while I was at work.. I do not know what I would ( Read more... )

How to live with this Dual diagnosis?

an addict dealing with some type of psychosis/

anything from anxiety to schizophrenia

throw in some booze, powder, pills- im telling ya

its enough to make you get caught up in the cycle

everyone’s the judge n jury- you’re always on trial

but no ones more judgemental than u on yourself

is that the drugs or the illness ( Read more... )

Well lately ive just been putting up things i've written like poems and freestyles: well i guess its not a freestyle if i write it down, but whatev.. lol But ya, i figured its time to update this thing for real.. The last reall update was AGES ago, i think around the time i got fired from Sigma- so we're going back a couple of years.. lets just say ( Read more... )

At one point you just need to walk away

Turn your back and hope it all fades away

As the dust settles, the inner storm ceases

You wonder who’s gonna help you pick up the pieces

Is it gonna be those that you turned your back on?

The same ones that you used to lean on?

Or is it the peeps who have just entered your space

Who have no idea of how much of a ( Read more... )

every day’s seen as a struggle/just tryin to hold on

to my sanity, wondering /where is it that i belong

could it be here with you /or is it there with them?

either way i just feel /like i have to pretend

to be someone other than /who i want me to be

always conforming to the rules /of secret societies

adjust your attitude, behaviours /not to mention ( Read more... )

i wish i could stop your hurt- take away this pain ( Read more... )