*bweep*
Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.
If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want; stay on the line and we'll trace your call.
If you're delusional, press
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