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it dawned on me today that I've got no one looking out for me. Everyone expects facebook updates or Instagram, but no one is concerning themselves if/when I go missing. I'm not sure what's worse, that no one is worried when things take me out of commission, or that I'm not hurt by it. It's just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes
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Desderata
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy
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Battles
September 26, 2008. I need this surgery. I'm going to bleed to death. how am I getting up every day and going to work. and school. how am I holding my head up. walking and talking. breathing? I did it then, 10 fibroids. 10 tumors that came up so fast. that marvel docs because, i'm just so young. that caused so much pain, trauma, isolation. i was ( Read more... ) -
Memoriam
I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never got to see you, talk to you, or hold you close. I think about you today, your day, and every day of the year. I miss you. I love you. Happy birthday.
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My journal
where I keep the things I could say to no one; the things no one wanted to hear -
It's cute and all, and very noble, for me to (still) think that just because in willing to go to certain lengths for people and things, that the same mentality is reciprocate. Because the actual mentality is to take what I give, and keep it moving. But I get looked at like a selfish spaz if I opt to take their approach to life ( Read more... )
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I wonder
1) what life would be like if I had grown up with my mom's side of the family instead of my dad's ( Read more... ) -
Butterfly Effect
If I could go back and change one bloody thing. Just one. I'd change the answer on that marriage proposal. And if that butterfly effect turned out wrong. I'd go back and take that trip with Aunt Cheryl. Now that one...I don't think I'd ever look back
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December
If I'm grateful for nothing else this year, I'm grateful for Steven. With him I've learned what it is to genuinely care for someone. I didn't realize what misery I had gotten myself into with the....utter ridiculousness that was the last decade. My perception of beauty and kindness and appreciation and desire and respect and camaraderie and loyalty ( Read more... )