There's a commitment I have made for myself that I am going to post here.
"No matter what situation I am in, I am not going to think about or worry about the easiest way through. I am only going to worry about the right way."
So I figured out that all I need right now is just the ability to relax.
Which will be hard to find with a garden, and a 13 month old baby that always wants attention (love her but still makes it hard to relax). But I'm fine right now- and I will be alright.