Climb onto your neighbour's roof and dangle a fish on a bit of string in front of his windows. He'll think his house is underwater.
Girls. Too old to go on an 18 to 30 holiday? Simply get pissed, lie in a pit in your garden and shag every bloke who looks at you over the fence.

Buy a television set exactly like your neighbours. Then annoy them by ( Read more... )

stephen fry just quoted viz top tips on QI!!!!
has anybody else got this book?

the dictionary definition of JAY (according to mac):

In terms of the bird: has a harsh screech

or on its own: a person who chatters impertinantly...

hahahaha

also has anyone elses phone lost signal? cause mines dissapeared, but its normally fine in my house. hmmmmm.

xxx

you start working.
you know you're working.
you're concentrating hard.

then you realise, despite whatever difficult task you thought you were doing, you have in fact managed to stray from the appropriate window and are in fact expending alot of time and energy reading the belle and sebastien website and drawing funny faces on a piece of paper.

i just got an opticians reminder for specsavers... i have never got my eyes tested at specsavers! how confusing.

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my mum and sister sold ALL my beanie babies for £5!!!!!!!!!

( Read more... )

jay: At age 92, you will refuse to give a quarter to a beggar. Immediately afterwards you will be hit by a bus.

http://evil.berzerker.net/death_predictions.php

hm, better keep an eye on my instant karma...