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[jazz_trance]

Er, hello? Is there someone there? …Listen, Mr. Kidnapper, if you’re hearing this, whatever you’re trying to do, it’s not gonna work. When Howard Moon goes missing, things happen. People are up in arms. And it’s not just the mobs you’ll have to deal with, oh no. There’s me. Yeah, you just show your face, and I’ll come at you like a feral cat, like

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[numanstan]

... Howard?

[jazz_trance]

Vince? ...Don't tell me this was some prank of yours.

[numanstan]

No, it's nothin' like that... It's sorta hard to explain, but we've basically been kidnapped, along with a whole bunch of other people, and put in this well creepy '50s American town that's always tryin' to kill us.

[He pauses.]... You're really here... Howard, what's your address?

[jazz_trance]

Ha! I knew it was a kidnapping.

[He didn't really get the rest of that, but.]

Why, are you gonna send a cab? --Fine, I'll go check.

[A lengthy pause as he goes outside, and returns.]

The house number's 338, and the street's Brady Lane. So, er, could you explain exactly how I ended up here again?

[hourai_branch]

....gao!

[jazz_trance]

...Pardon me?

[hourai_branch]

Hmm...oh right. Roar!

[jazz_trance]

...Right. Um, could I ask who's on the line, please?

[not_oflegend]

Howard Moon?

You're not Vince's friend, are you?

[jazz_trance]

'Course I a--

Wait, Vince told you that, did he? Yeah, he got it backwards. I'm not "Vince's friend", he's "Howard Moon's friend". I let him hang around me, out of the goodness of my heart.

[not_oflegend]

Isn't friendship generally considered a two-way deal?

[jazz_trance]

Well, you know, when you're a respected man like I am, you don't have friends, really. Just followers.

[Sounding increasingly nervous here, 'cause he's talking to what sounds like a potentially attractive lady.]

[bbsatbyrobots]

...Howard?

[jazz_trance]

Er, yes? Hello? Who is this?

[bbsatbyrobots]

U-Um, I'm Flora! But...

Do...do you happen to know anyone named Vince?

[jazz_trance]

Vince Noir? Yeah, he's been known to tag along with me on occasion. You another one of his friends?

[limerenceloli]

[There's your pseudo-daughter waking up this morning and coming to the quick realization that something is different. It has to be because she's hearing voices from the adjacent bedroom which is a notable difference to her normal routine mornings.

After taking a few days to figure out the cycle of deaths and revivals in this strange town, Saya had made sure to schedule her slaughters exactly 24 hours after her previous 'parents' were killed... so that the moment her new 'parents' appeared and the corpses of the old drones disappeared, she would silence them before they could utter a "good morning, honey". Thus, an equilibrium was always maintained and Saya had to never actually put up with those... things

[jazz_trance]

[He's still jabbering away into the phone, not noticing her for a couple of seconds. He jumps a bit when he does, dropping the phone and backing up a few paces. Ah. Just a little girl... nothing to be afraid of.]

Oh, er, hello there. [Pause, and then:] Do you live here?

[limerenceloli]

... yes.

Do you live here, mister grandpa?

[jazz_trance]

Uh, no. I live in London.

[He tries to smile, but it just sort of fades. Oh god he has no idea how to act around kids.]

Yeah, um, sorry about breaking into your house. I mean, I didn't break in, I just woke up here. I'll get going just as soon as I phone for help. Okay?