1. Maryse waits at the bus stop in a downpouor. She holds her camera bag close under the umbrella's protection. Her secret she holds closer. What will she do now? Everything that she brought to life with her camera, she has returned to their original place. Now her loneliness is winning. She wants to keep just this one. . .person.
2. Maryse leaves her camera home and walks to the park. She sits in the grass overlooking the river, then lies down and studies the sky. Each white fluffy cloud scares her. The blue of the sky that she has loved makes her hands shake. Everything makes her think of the power she holds in her hands when she brings her camera with her.
Great starts! Now try going back to each and describing some of the sensations each scene would elicit. The rain on her skin: Is it cold? Warm? Stinging? Does it slip inside her coat? Is her hair wet? Does she care? The grass: What does is smell like? Is it freshly mown? Is it wet? Warm? Comforting? How can each of these details reflect what your character is _really_ feeling and thinking about?
Great prompt, Jo. This got me thinking about a scene in my WIP. Here's a quick bit where my main character, Jessie, gets to eat ice cream...
And just like that I was eating a strawberry ice cream cone with a bunch of goofy teenage boys. I did my best impression of a normal girl. Giggly, loud, happy. We talked about celebrities we’d date, favorite songs on the radio, and overbearing parents. It was perfect. I wanted the moment to last forever and eat my ice cream as slowly as possible, but pink creamy rivers melted down my arm. By the time I bit off the tip of my sugar cone, everyone was checking their cell phones. Except for me. I made up a story about dropping an iphone in the tub, and they all bought it. The sweet strawberries lingered in my mouth, but the bitter reality of my life was overpowering.
Crying at a Paradeext_3216517July 20 2015, 13:27:43 UTC
Jo - Another great prompt! This is really helping me to discover this character (who I've been living with for a year now). My finger is shaking as I push "Enter," but here goes: ______________________________________
( ... )
Hi - I don't have a WIP so I just made up a character for this. As with so many of the lessons, this would be fun to use in the classroom. Thanks so much.
Elizabeth and her friends have been at the amusement park since it opened. It’s a hot humid day and she is going through the motions. As they approach the fastest roller coaster in the park, everyone gets in line. It’s finally their turn and Elizabeth steps in the roller coaster. All of her friends have nervous smiles, so she tries to do the same. As the roller coaster takes off at breathtaking speed, Elizabeth let’s it all go. The twists and turns, climbs and drops let her melt into the seat. When the ride ends she is done pretending and exits her seat slumped with sad eyes and thoughts. Her friends are so energized, she wonders if they will notice.
I really like the idea of pairing the roller coaster with a sad feeling. I wonder if there is a way to bring that out more as she's getting in. I know how she's pretending to feel, but maybe a hint about how she's really feeling as she gets in would make this even stronger.
Great start! I agree with Andrea that I'd love to actually go on the ride with her and feel what's going on inside as she experiences the dips and dives. What's on her mind? What does each feeling remind her of? How does she respond when her friend scream or laugh? There's a lot here!
Eating Spaghetti - Holding a secret
anonymous
July 20 2015, 15:17:45 UTC
Frankie sat twirling the spaghetti on his fork. He watched it wind round and round getting tighter and tighter. That’s how his insides felt. The secret he held, that one mistake he’d made was twisting him up. He knew Jacob felt the same way. He looked over at Jacob as he put the fork in his mouth, the sauce almost as acidic as the look Jacob gave him.
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2. Maryse leaves her camera home and walks to the park. She sits in the grass overlooking the river, then lies down and studies the sky. Each white fluffy cloud scares her. The blue of the sky that she has loved makes her hands shake. Everything makes her think of the power she holds in her hands when she brings her camera with her.
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And just like that I was eating a strawberry ice cream cone with a bunch of goofy teenage boys. I did my best impression of a normal girl. Giggly, loud, happy. We talked about celebrities we’d date, favorite songs on the radio, and overbearing parents. It was perfect.
I wanted the moment to last forever and eat my ice cream as slowly as possible, but pink creamy rivers melted down my arm. By the time I bit off the tip of my sugar cone, everyone was checking their cell phones. Except for me. I made up a story about dropping an iphone in the tub, and they all bought it.
The sweet strawberries lingered in my mouth, but the bitter reality of my life was overpowering.
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Elizabeth and her friends have been at the amusement park since it opened. It’s a hot humid day and she is going through the motions. As they approach the fastest roller coaster in the park, everyone gets in line. It’s finally their turn and Elizabeth steps in the roller coaster. All of her friends have nervous smiles, so she tries to do the same. As the roller coaster takes off at breathtaking speed, Elizabeth let’s it all go. The twists and turns, climbs and drops let her melt into the seat. When the ride ends she is done pretending and exits her seat slumped with sad eyes and thoughts. Her friends are so energized, she wonders if they will notice.
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