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Me
After I delete everything from myself that you don't approve of, that you don't agree with, that is different from how you think I should be...I look down and see a little bit of nothing that is left, and I wonder, not for the first time, and I'm sure not for the last time...when will I just get to be me? and I begin to realize that the answer is ( Read more... ) -
Take 2
I ended up with a massive kidney infection and kidney stones after my last post so I am starting the modified version of the 21 day fix tomorrow...It will take me 78 days to get through the 21 days worth of workouts because I am only able to do about 10 minutes of exercise a day right now, so I will be doing the modified version of the workouts, ( Read more... ) -
Begin tomorrow
I finally got the 21 day fix in the mail. I completed the allergy test of the Shakeology. Tomorrow I take my measurements and before pictures and begin. I was going to wait because I have been sick, but in my new life sickness lasts forever so I figured I would just get started and hope for the best. My blood sugar levels have been low 91, 94, ( Read more... ) -
New Journey
So today is the day...I am going in a little bit to meet Robyn and try again to change my life. I have told her all about my health issues and my weight loss journey thus far (70 pounds down until I got sick and came to a halt) and she is coming up with a plan that she thinks will help me. I am going to document my journey here so that I can look ( Read more... ) -
UGH
The sound of my silent agony would be deafening...The inner turmoil I feel when she's away is unbearable :( -
Is this what Hell is like?
Emptiness...It consumes me...each breath I take just magnifies the feeling...heartache...loneliness...uncertainty...To be free of it...to be done...what a blessing that would be...but what if Hell is this unending ache...This utter nothingness? Without the cowardly escape plan...Just an eternity with this gaping whole in my chest? -
Changes
When things are changing all around you and You realize that you no longer know where you stand with people in your life...and then you think about it and realize that you really don't care ( Read more... ) -
Faith it till you make it
When I am going through hard times...especially with my health issues and depression...my mom always says fake it till you make it...I always hated that saying...it felt like a lie, It didn't make sense to me...I like this though...Faith it till you make it...I can get behind that...It makes sense...There are going to be hard times...lots of them ( Read more... ) -
2222015
sleepless again tonight...and again you're on my mind...The last few songs that you've sung are so filled with emotion that I can't stop listening to them, and I can't stop crying at my story falling from your lips! I love you so much! You can stop being so amazing any time! What do I do? You've taken up residency inside my brain and you won't ( Read more... )