I stopped my anti-psychotics and I can't handle it. I feel like I'm fucking insane, and I just can't stand it any longer. Little things affect me like they shouldn't, I fucked up my life beyond repair I think.... rather not my life, but my brain ( Read more... )

"When you sleep ( Read more... )

So yeah ( Read more... )

It feels like jesus on the cross ( Read more... )

So lately it feels like I've been taking two steps back for each step I've taken forward. Things have changed, but they are just bad in a new way then they were before ( Read more... )

I don't know how to explain it, but I'm randomly furious over nothing. It's almost like I found passion inside my life once more. For the longest time I had stopped caring about pretty much any issues relating to anything relevant. Now today I can't get my fucking mind off them, and everything around me just upsets me ( Read more... )

Alright, so I'm drunk at 7:30 on a Saturday night. I should be watching "the game" like my all peers, but honestly I don't care enough to ever do that. So instead I'm sitting alone, drinking and watching movies... which to me is a lot more productive.

I haven't posted in this journal in about 3 weeks, and it's been partly because I haven't had the ( Read more... )

The past week has been so confusing, disconcerting and alarming... I don't know where to begin. It feels like my mind is traveling on a foggy night. Sometimes the fog will lessen and there will be some visibility, but then my mind will hit another thick patch of fog and any existing visibility disappears. I don't know what's happening in my own ( Read more... )

Well, I have some extra time... and I haven't updated this in a week, so I might as well try to occupy my mind ( Read more... )

I went to my appointment with the psychologist today.

I was diagnosed with Dysthymia (recurrent) Depression, Major (clinical) Depression and General Anxiety Disorder.

What this means is that even in the best times I still am never actually happy or completely satisfied. I'm always somewhat hopeless and have bouts have sadness without reason. ( Read more... )