Glee Fic: Sam Evans vs. The Universe (3/3)
PART ONE | PART TWO
X2 BONUS
X2 BONUS
X2 BONUS
LEVEL 7: FOOTBALL FIELD
“Kurt!” Sam shouted, striding purposefully forward, right to the center of the field where he knew Kurt was. He immediately kneeled down and undid the tie around the other boy’s mouth. He was just reaching for Kurt’s hands when-
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
“Save it,” Sam shouted back, and untied the knots on Kurt’s hands in one fluid motion, before doing the same on the ones around Kurt’s feet. “Wake up, Kurt,” Sam said, lightly tapping the boy’s cheek; when Kurt’s eyes fluttered open, Sam helped him up, then looked him straight in the face.
“Kurt, I really, really want to date you,” Sam said, and Kurt blinked. “I’ll even fight a million deadly evil exes if I have to, ’cause I’m a little in love with you and nothing’s gonna change that. So, what do you say we kick this guy’s ass and then go get a pizza?”
Kurt hesitated a moment - but then his face split into a wide grin. “I’d say it’s about damn time.”
Sam smiled, and Kurt laughed. Beneath them, the words “2 PLAYER MODE” appeared in bright blue letters.
Sam pointed. “Behind you.”
Kurt spun around and lashed out with a kick; Karofsky, who had appeared behind him, was sent flying, straight through the goalpost at the end of the field. This earned the two of them “+3 EXTRA POINTS”, and Sam and Kurt high-fived.
“Blaine!” Sam called out, to Kurt’s confusion. “I know you’re out here. Toss me your wand for a second!”
There was no response for a moment; then the air in front of them parted, and Blaine stepped out from underneath his invisibility cloak and threw his wand toward Sam. Sam caught it, raised it, and grinned at Kurt.
“Accio Glee Club!”
With that, he tossed the wand back to Blaine, who caught it, smiling. “Sam Evans?”
“Much obliged,” said Sam, sticking his hand out, and Blaine shook it. The words “MULTIPLAYER MODE” appeared beneath them.
“Hey, dudes,” snarled a voice, and Sam whirled around. Karofsky was standing behind them. His shirt was dirty: Kurt had left a footprint sprawled across its center. “I thought Evans and me had a fight going on here!”
“You’ve got a fight,” Sam said, “but it’s not with just me.” Beside him, Kurt and Blaine nodded fiercely.
Abruptly, Sam was thrown backward again. Another sword was blossoming out of his chest, this one’s flames bright purple.
Sam Evans earned the power of teamwork!
Guts: +5
Heart: +6
Smarts: +7
Balls: +8
Sam pulled the sword out, the flames illuminating his face as he glared at Karofsky. Karofsky just smirked. “Wrong move, bud,” he growled, with a snap of his fingers.
But Sam was prepared this time: As the rest of the football team emerged from behind the bleachers again, somersaulting and flipping their way toward the center of the field, Sam glanced to Blaine, then Kurt. “I’ll take the ones on the left; Kurt, you take the ones on the right. Blaine, get anyone who’s left over. Got it?”
Kurt smiled and raised his fists. “Oh, have we got this.”
With matching battle cries, the three of them descended on the jocks.
SEVERAL COMPLETELY BADASS SECONDS LATER
Sam Evans: +2200
Kurt Hummel: +2500
Blaine [Last Name Unknown]: +2000
Karofsky blinked. In front of him, Sam twirled his sword, the purple flames around it dancing artfully; Kurt pulled an emery board out of his pocket and began inspecting his (only mildly scratched) fingernails; and Blaine lowered his wand, the end of which was glowing. All the while, coins drifted idly through the air surrounding the three of them. Karofsky narrowed his eyes and pulled out his hockey stick.
“Where was he keeping that?” Blaine asked Kurt, who shrugged.
“I’m gonna kill you homos!” Karofsky snarled as he surged forward, bringing his hockey stick up high above his head. “Eat shit and die, fags!”
“Oh, the cleverness of your insults,” Blaine deadpanned, flicking his wand. “Expelliarmus!” The hockey stick flew out of Karofsky’s hands; Blaine pointed at it with his wand as it soared through the air. “Finite Incantantem!”
The hockey stick exploded into fiery, twisted pieces of wood that rained down around the four of them. “+400” appeared above Blaine’s head. Karofsky barely had time to gape at it before Sam and Kurt were upon him.
WHAM!
A dozen deadly blows landed all over Karofsky in rapid sequence, delivered on opposing sides with Kurt on the left and Sam on the right. Karofsky was tossed back and forth between the two boys as punch after punch was thrown. Finally, Kurt lashed out with a kick that went directly into Karofsky’s stomach; when he doubled over and fell, Kurt grabbed his legs and kicked him him again. Karofsky flew over Sam’s head and Sam grabbed his ankle as it passed by and slammed him down into the dirt.
COMBO! +3000
Karofsky raised his head up; his face was streaked with dirt and he wobbled unsteadily as he struggled to his feet. “YOU,” he snarled, shoving past Sam and lunging for Kurt, hands outstretched. “This is all your fault, you fucking queer-”
“Ahem.”
Karofsky was tapped on the shoulder, and he spun around, confused.
“Get your damn hands AWAY FROM MY BOY,” Mercedes shouted, and she punched him in the face.
(AND IT WAS REALLY AWESOME)
Karofsky was sent reeling, back to the twenty-yard line, but Rachel was standing there, waiting for him. She looked down at Karofsky as he landed at her feet, unperturbed.
“While I normally don’t approve of violence, I do have to say that this was a very long time in coming,” she said, and brought her foot down on Karofsky’s stomach.
Wheezing, Karofsky sat up and doubled over, as Rachel ran over to Mercedes and the two of them bumped fists. Behind them, the rest of the Glee Club came spilling out onto the field. Puck cracked his knuckles; Mike and Matt exchanged glances and nodded briefly, obviously strategizing; Santana and Brittany, pinkies interlocked, looked ready to kill from sheer bitchface alone; Finn pushed Artie in his wheelchair while Artie got ready to power up the robot device again; and Tina did a handful of somersaults and cartwheels before landing in a spread-eagle split worthy of the Cheerios, fists raised and ready for a fight.
“Hi guys,” Kurt said, waving.
“You think you’ve won?” Karofsky shouted as he stood. There was a large scratch mark on his temple. “I can still take you!” he shouted, raising his fists. “I can take all of you!”
“I highly doubt that,” came a cool, perfectly collected voice, and everyone’s heads whipped to the bleachers to see Quinn leaping into a backflip. She twirled through the air and came down on Karofsky’s shoulders. Karofsky, hollering, attempted to throw her off, but Quinn held firm, raking her knuckles across his face and drawing blood - earning her a “+3000”. Quinn jumped; Sam caught her perfectly, locking eyes with her.
“Sam,” Quinn said, levelly.
“Quinn,” Sam acknowledged, putting her down without a word.
They looked at each other for a moment, the tension in the air palpable.
“I - thanks,” Sam muttered, eventually.
“I’m sorry,” Quinn said in response. “For - you know.”
Sam was spared from further awkwardness by Kurt, who tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to Karofsky. “Watch out.”
Karofsky was digging through his pockets frantically, pulling out a water bottle with +10 to healing; as he drank it, the gashes on his face closed up and healed over. Beneath him, a health bar appeared; slowly it moved from 25% to 50%.
“Oh, come on, that is totally cheating,” Santana said, letting go of Brittany’s pinky to cross her arms.
“Nah, it isn’t,” Karofsky grunted, tossing the water bottle behind him. “But this might be.”
With that, Karofsky jumped into the air and brought his fists down upon the football field, hitting the very center line with a yell. Sam and the rest of the club were sent flailing as the ground beneath them split, shifting and tilting with a thunderous cracking sound. Kurt grabbed onto Sam’s arm and Sam grasped his shoulder as the two of them slid, just managing to stay balanced. Sam heard the shrieked and panicked cries of the rest of the Glee club and hoped against hope that they’d be all right.
When their world finally stopped moving, Sam glanced around, taking stock of their surroundings. The football field had shifted and adjusted itself into a - well, the best Sam could describe it was a sort of rectangular pyramid, with every ten-yard line marking a new level upwards. There were five of these levels in total, and each was thinner than the one below it. Karofsky was at the very top and center, smirking down at them all.
Sam growled and tightened his grip on his sword. He looked down from his place on the fourth level, and noticed with dismay that Artie, at the very base of the pyramid, had fallen out of his wheelchair. Though he looked to be okay, the chair itself was bent and twisted and pretty much physically incapable of transformation. Finn scrambled to help Artie up.
LEVEL 8: POWER-UP PYRAMID
1st Story: Finn & Artie (left side); Santana & Brittany (right side)
2nd Story: Tina & Puck (left side); Mike & Matt (right side)
3rd Story: Rachel (left side); Mercedes (right side)
4th Story: Sam & Kurt (left side); Blaine (right side)
5th Story: Karofsky (center)
“Well, damn,” Puck said nonchalantly, glancing upwards.
“This looks like a giant wedding cake,” Brittany mused, as she examined the pyramid. “A green one.”
“How much do Kurt and Sam and Blaine have to own your ass before you’ll just stay down?!” Finn shouted angrily up at Karofsky.
“You can’t keep The Fury down, Hudson,” Karofsky retorted, cracking his knuckles.
“We’ll see about that!” Tina yelled, and jumped up toward Karofsky. “Let’s do this!”
Karofsky reached up and blocked her kick, but her words had spurred the other Glee Club members to action, and they too began climbing upwards to join the fight. Finn and Artie (who was sitting on Finn’s shoulders) exchanged several blows with Karofsky before they were punched backward, falling off the top of the pyramid; Mike and Matt attacked him from both sides, both getting some good blows in, before Karofsky lashed out with both fists and sent them flying as well. Puck was next: he growled and surged forward, grabbing Karofsky’s waist to body-slam him, but Karofsky did a flip over him and kicked Puck in the small of his back, sending him careening back to the second story of the pyramid.
Mercedes and Rachel were the next to climb up, and the two of them tried a different tactic: as Karofsky whirled around to face them, they both opened their mouths and let loose the highest, loudest note that Sam had ever heard in his life. Karofsky squealed like a pig and crouched down, clasping his hands over his ears. Rachel and Mercedes surged forward, still singing, and a bar appeared above their heads informing them that they were hitting a high C, and earning +200 points per second. Still they continued on; but Karofsky gritted his teeth, uncovered one of his ears, and punched Rachel in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her. Mercedes immediately stopped singing and caught Rachel as her knees buckled, and Karofsky threw them both off of the top of the pyramid.
He turned around and looked down, noting the other Glee Club members staring at him in utter disgust.
“What?” Karofsky asked nonchalantly. “The Fury’s not afraid to hit a girl.”
“Maybe The Fury should be,” growled Santana as she and Brittany reached the top, and she grabbed Karofsky from behind, twisting his arms behind his back and bending him over. Brittany took this opportunity to bite Karofsky’s knees, and Karofsky howled in pain. With a surge of effort, the football player bucked upward, throwing the both of them off the top as well. Blaine scrambled upward as they fell past him.
On the level beneath, Sam and Kurt exchanged glances. “It’s not working,” Kurt reported quietly. “As long as he’s at the top of the pyramid, he can keep picking us off one by one.”
“We’ve got to try,” Sam said determinedly. He raised his flaming sword high above his head and jumped.
“Sam, DON’T!” Kurt shouted, and Karofsky turned from where he’d just snatched Blaine’s wand away from him.
“Finite Incantantem!” Karofsky shouted, pointing the wand. The sword in Sam’s hands shattered and he sailed past Karofsky, right over the top of the pyramid, before he landed and tumbled bodily down its side. As Sam fell to the last level, his body began blinking red.
Karofsky turned: Kurt was climbing up to the top level, staring at him unblinkingly. Sam raised his head just in time to see Kurt - rather than attack Karofsky - put his arms around the other boy’s shoulders. Kurt’s smile was close-lipped and tight; as Sam watched, Kurt leaned in toward Karofsky’s face.
“That’s my man,” Karofsky grunted, grinning. “Knew I’d win you over with my moves.”
“I’m more of a man than you’ll ever be,” Kurt whispered sweetly in his ear, and kneed Karofsky in the balls.
CROTCH SHOT! +7000
Karofsky yelled in furious pain. As he doubled over, Blaine reached forward and grabbed his wand back. He raised it to cast a spell, but before he could, Karofsky straightened up, looked over to Blaine, and punched him in the face. Blaine flew backward, wand falling out of his hand and into Karofsky’s, and Karofsky broke it in half. Blaine landed next to Sam on the ground, and the two of them exchanged glances, then looked up and gasped in horror. Karofsky had turned and socked Kurt in the jaw; as blood flew out of Kurt’s mouth, a blinker appeared above him, exclaiming, “BAD!! BAD!! BAD!!”
But Karofsky didn’t stop. Kurt fell to the ground and Karofsky lashed out and kicked him in the side, hard. Kurt cried out as he tumbled down the side of the pyramid, body flashing red as well; Karofsky, enraged, leapt into the air after him.
He landed on the bottom level, next to where Kurt’s body had come to rest; as Kurt groaned and looked up, he found Karofsky’s foot inches from his face.
“Any last words, fairy?” Karofsky snarled.
Kurt coughed - and then, bizarrely, he smiled. “You’re on our level now, sweetheart.”
Karofsky barely had time to register what he’d said before the rest of the Glee Club was upon him from all sides. Karofsky was kicked and punched and thrown and bitten in every way there was, tossed around like a ragdoll amongst the thirteen enraged members of Glee.
TEAM EFFORT! +20,000
Finally, Sam grabbed Karofsky and forced him into a headlock; Karofsky struggled madly, but his health bar had reappeared beneath him and it was almost completely empty. He couldn’t break Sam’s grip.
The rest of Glee slowly stepped backward, until they were in a circle around Sam, Karofsky, and the fallen Kurt. Kurt struggled to his feet as in front of him, Karofsky begin to laugh lowly. “Who do you think you are, Hummel?” he snarled, face turning red from Sam’s headlock. “You think you’re better than me or something?”
“No,” Kurt said simply. “I know it. Now kiss this.”
And he lashed out with a kick that went above his own head, hitting Karofsky square in the face.
K.O.! +7,000,000,000
Karofsky dissolved into coins in Sam’s arms.
After the club had gathered up the money that had appeared after Karofsky's defeat (thereby guaranteeing their staying power with Figgins for a very, very long time) and finished celebrating, Sam and Kurt found themselves alone, the last to leave the choir room after everyone else.
“I’m surprised Karofsky didn’t regenerate here,” Kurt remarked lightly, surveying the empty room.
“He made the locker room his home base,” Sam explained, sitting down beside Kurt. “But since he sucked at it, there’s a time delay. He and the other football players won’t regenerate for a long time.”
“That’s good to know.” Kurt smiled.
Silence descended upon them for a few moments, but it was comfortable, familiar. “So,” Kurt said, eventually. “You’ve defeated the league of Seven Evil Ex-Boyfriends...”
“Exes,” Sam corrected. “Brittany, remember.”
“Ah. Right,” Kurt said, covering his face with one hand. “I’d almost managed to repress that.”
“Making out with her couldn’t have been that bad,” Sam teased.
“She asked me to kiss her armpits.”
Sam blinked. “I take it back.”
There was silence for another moment, then Kurt continued. “So you’ve defeated the League of Seven Evil Exes, and we’re now technically dating...”
“Yes?” Sam prompted.
“Does that mean we can make out now?” Kurt asked.
Sam laughed. “Thought you’d never ask,” he said.
They leaned in -
- and Sam woke up.
Dammit!
“Sam, are you gonna sleep all day?” came his sister’s voice, floating up from downstairs. “Just ’cause it’s Saturday doesn’t mean you have to, you know.”
“I’m getting up,” Sam finally called, voice hoarse, as he sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. A dream. It’d all been a deranged and incredibly fantastic dream. He glanced at his clock - 1:52 PM - as he tried to sort out the various memories.
It had all seemed so real. One thing was for certain: Dream-Sam had been remarkably forward. He hadn’t wasted any time in asking Kurt out, fighting for the right to date him, and even admitting that he was in love with the guy a little bit. Frowning, Sam considered it. Was he in love with Kurt? It certainly seemed possible - the dream was vivid enough - but this was the real world, where seven epic fights to the death in a row didn’t usually take place, and if they did, they weren’t crammed into the span of two days.
But Sam could definitely admit that he liked Kurt. That was why he’d been so worried about him last night, Sam realized - he genuinely cared about Kurt and wanted to see him happy. And from the few exchanges they’d had, the two of them had gotten along remarkably well.
Sam made his decision and, with a smile, picked up his phone.
“Hey, Kurt? Yeah, it’s Sam. Listen... do you wanna hang out?”
THE END
X2 BONUS
X2 BONUS
X2 BONUS
LEVEL 7: FOOTBALL FIELD
“Kurt!” Sam shouted, striding purposefully forward, right to the center of the field where he knew Kurt was. He immediately kneeled down and undid the tie around the other boy’s mouth. He was just reaching for Kurt’s hands when-
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
“Save it,” Sam shouted back, and untied the knots on Kurt’s hands in one fluid motion, before doing the same on the ones around Kurt’s feet. “Wake up, Kurt,” Sam said, lightly tapping the boy’s cheek; when Kurt’s eyes fluttered open, Sam helped him up, then looked him straight in the face.
“Kurt, I really, really want to date you,” Sam said, and Kurt blinked. “I’ll even fight a million deadly evil exes if I have to, ’cause I’m a little in love with you and nothing’s gonna change that. So, what do you say we kick this guy’s ass and then go get a pizza?”
Kurt hesitated a moment - but then his face split into a wide grin. “I’d say it’s about damn time.”
Sam smiled, and Kurt laughed. Beneath them, the words “2 PLAYER MODE” appeared in bright blue letters.
Sam pointed. “Behind you.”
Kurt spun around and lashed out with a kick; Karofsky, who had appeared behind him, was sent flying, straight through the goalpost at the end of the field. This earned the two of them “+3 EXTRA POINTS”, and Sam and Kurt high-fived.
“Blaine!” Sam called out, to Kurt’s confusion. “I know you’re out here. Toss me your wand for a second!”
There was no response for a moment; then the air in front of them parted, and Blaine stepped out from underneath his invisibility cloak and threw his wand toward Sam. Sam caught it, raised it, and grinned at Kurt.
“Accio Glee Club!”
With that, he tossed the wand back to Blaine, who caught it, smiling. “Sam Evans?”
“Much obliged,” said Sam, sticking his hand out, and Blaine shook it. The words “MULTIPLAYER MODE” appeared beneath them.
“Hey, dudes,” snarled a voice, and Sam whirled around. Karofsky was standing behind them. His shirt was dirty: Kurt had left a footprint sprawled across its center. “I thought Evans and me had a fight going on here!”
“You’ve got a fight,” Sam said, “but it’s not with just me.” Beside him, Kurt and Blaine nodded fiercely.
Abruptly, Sam was thrown backward again. Another sword was blossoming out of his chest, this one’s flames bright purple.
Sam Evans earned the power of teamwork!
Guts: +5
Heart: +6
Smarts: +7
Balls: +8
Sam pulled the sword out, the flames illuminating his face as he glared at Karofsky. Karofsky just smirked. “Wrong move, bud,” he growled, with a snap of his fingers.
But Sam was prepared this time: As the rest of the football team emerged from behind the bleachers again, somersaulting and flipping their way toward the center of the field, Sam glanced to Blaine, then Kurt. “I’ll take the ones on the left; Kurt, you take the ones on the right. Blaine, get anyone who’s left over. Got it?”
Kurt smiled and raised his fists. “Oh, have we got this.”
With matching battle cries, the three of them descended on the jocks.
SEVERAL COMPLETELY BADASS SECONDS LATER
Sam Evans: +2200
Kurt Hummel: +2500
Blaine [Last Name Unknown]: +2000
Karofsky blinked. In front of him, Sam twirled his sword, the purple flames around it dancing artfully; Kurt pulled an emery board out of his pocket and began inspecting his (only mildly scratched) fingernails; and Blaine lowered his wand, the end of which was glowing. All the while, coins drifted idly through the air surrounding the three of them. Karofsky narrowed his eyes and pulled out his hockey stick.
“Where was he keeping that?” Blaine asked Kurt, who shrugged.
“I’m gonna kill you homos!” Karofsky snarled as he surged forward, bringing his hockey stick up high above his head. “Eat shit and die, fags!”
“Oh, the cleverness of your insults,” Blaine deadpanned, flicking his wand. “Expelliarmus!” The hockey stick flew out of Karofsky’s hands; Blaine pointed at it with his wand as it soared through the air. “Finite Incantantem!”
The hockey stick exploded into fiery, twisted pieces of wood that rained down around the four of them. “+400” appeared above Blaine’s head. Karofsky barely had time to gape at it before Sam and Kurt were upon him.
WHAM!
A dozen deadly blows landed all over Karofsky in rapid sequence, delivered on opposing sides with Kurt on the left and Sam on the right. Karofsky was tossed back and forth between the two boys as punch after punch was thrown. Finally, Kurt lashed out with a kick that went directly into Karofsky’s stomach; when he doubled over and fell, Kurt grabbed his legs and kicked him him again. Karofsky flew over Sam’s head and Sam grabbed his ankle as it passed by and slammed him down into the dirt.
COMBO! +3000
Karofsky raised his head up; his face was streaked with dirt and he wobbled unsteadily as he struggled to his feet. “YOU,” he snarled, shoving past Sam and lunging for Kurt, hands outstretched. “This is all your fault, you fucking queer-”
“Ahem.”
Karofsky was tapped on the shoulder, and he spun around, confused.
“Get your damn hands AWAY FROM MY BOY,” Mercedes shouted, and she punched him in the face.
(AND IT WAS REALLY AWESOME)
Karofsky was sent reeling, back to the twenty-yard line, but Rachel was standing there, waiting for him. She looked down at Karofsky as he landed at her feet, unperturbed.
“While I normally don’t approve of violence, I do have to say that this was a very long time in coming,” she said, and brought her foot down on Karofsky’s stomach.
Wheezing, Karofsky sat up and doubled over, as Rachel ran over to Mercedes and the two of them bumped fists. Behind them, the rest of the Glee Club came spilling out onto the field. Puck cracked his knuckles; Mike and Matt exchanged glances and nodded briefly, obviously strategizing; Santana and Brittany, pinkies interlocked, looked ready to kill from sheer bitchface alone; Finn pushed Artie in his wheelchair while Artie got ready to power up the robot device again; and Tina did a handful of somersaults and cartwheels before landing in a spread-eagle split worthy of the Cheerios, fists raised and ready for a fight.
“Hi guys,” Kurt said, waving.
“You think you’ve won?” Karofsky shouted as he stood. There was a large scratch mark on his temple. “I can still take you!” he shouted, raising his fists. “I can take all of you!”
“I highly doubt that,” came a cool, perfectly collected voice, and everyone’s heads whipped to the bleachers to see Quinn leaping into a backflip. She twirled through the air and came down on Karofsky’s shoulders. Karofsky, hollering, attempted to throw her off, but Quinn held firm, raking her knuckles across his face and drawing blood - earning her a “+3000”. Quinn jumped; Sam caught her perfectly, locking eyes with her.
“Sam,” Quinn said, levelly.
“Quinn,” Sam acknowledged, putting her down without a word.
They looked at each other for a moment, the tension in the air palpable.
“I - thanks,” Sam muttered, eventually.
“I’m sorry,” Quinn said in response. “For - you know.”
Sam was spared from further awkwardness by Kurt, who tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to Karofsky. “Watch out.”
Karofsky was digging through his pockets frantically, pulling out a water bottle with +10 to healing; as he drank it, the gashes on his face closed up and healed over. Beneath him, a health bar appeared; slowly it moved from 25% to 50%.
“Oh, come on, that is totally cheating,” Santana said, letting go of Brittany’s pinky to cross her arms.
“Nah, it isn’t,” Karofsky grunted, tossing the water bottle behind him. “But this might be.”
With that, Karofsky jumped into the air and brought his fists down upon the football field, hitting the very center line with a yell. Sam and the rest of the club were sent flailing as the ground beneath them split, shifting and tilting with a thunderous cracking sound. Kurt grabbed onto Sam’s arm and Sam grasped his shoulder as the two of them slid, just managing to stay balanced. Sam heard the shrieked and panicked cries of the rest of the Glee club and hoped against hope that they’d be all right.
When their world finally stopped moving, Sam glanced around, taking stock of their surroundings. The football field had shifted and adjusted itself into a - well, the best Sam could describe it was a sort of rectangular pyramid, with every ten-yard line marking a new level upwards. There were five of these levels in total, and each was thinner than the one below it. Karofsky was at the very top and center, smirking down at them all.
Sam growled and tightened his grip on his sword. He looked down from his place on the fourth level, and noticed with dismay that Artie, at the very base of the pyramid, had fallen out of his wheelchair. Though he looked to be okay, the chair itself was bent and twisted and pretty much physically incapable of transformation. Finn scrambled to help Artie up.
LEVEL 8: POWER-UP PYRAMID
1st Story: Finn & Artie (left side); Santana & Brittany (right side)
2nd Story: Tina & Puck (left side); Mike & Matt (right side)
3rd Story: Rachel (left side); Mercedes (right side)
4th Story: Sam & Kurt (left side); Blaine (right side)
5th Story: Karofsky (center)
“Well, damn,” Puck said nonchalantly, glancing upwards.
“This looks like a giant wedding cake,” Brittany mused, as she examined the pyramid. “A green one.”
“How much do Kurt and Sam and Blaine have to own your ass before you’ll just stay down?!” Finn shouted angrily up at Karofsky.
“You can’t keep The Fury down, Hudson,” Karofsky retorted, cracking his knuckles.
“We’ll see about that!” Tina yelled, and jumped up toward Karofsky. “Let’s do this!”
Karofsky reached up and blocked her kick, but her words had spurred the other Glee Club members to action, and they too began climbing upwards to join the fight. Finn and Artie (who was sitting on Finn’s shoulders) exchanged several blows with Karofsky before they were punched backward, falling off the top of the pyramid; Mike and Matt attacked him from both sides, both getting some good blows in, before Karofsky lashed out with both fists and sent them flying as well. Puck was next: he growled and surged forward, grabbing Karofsky’s waist to body-slam him, but Karofsky did a flip over him and kicked Puck in the small of his back, sending him careening back to the second story of the pyramid.
Mercedes and Rachel were the next to climb up, and the two of them tried a different tactic: as Karofsky whirled around to face them, they both opened their mouths and let loose the highest, loudest note that Sam had ever heard in his life. Karofsky squealed like a pig and crouched down, clasping his hands over his ears. Rachel and Mercedes surged forward, still singing, and a bar appeared above their heads informing them that they were hitting a high C, and earning +200 points per second. Still they continued on; but Karofsky gritted his teeth, uncovered one of his ears, and punched Rachel in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her. Mercedes immediately stopped singing and caught Rachel as her knees buckled, and Karofsky threw them both off of the top of the pyramid.
He turned around and looked down, noting the other Glee Club members staring at him in utter disgust.
“What?” Karofsky asked nonchalantly. “The Fury’s not afraid to hit a girl.”
“Maybe The Fury should be,” growled Santana as she and Brittany reached the top, and she grabbed Karofsky from behind, twisting his arms behind his back and bending him over. Brittany took this opportunity to bite Karofsky’s knees, and Karofsky howled in pain. With a surge of effort, the football player bucked upward, throwing the both of them off the top as well. Blaine scrambled upward as they fell past him.
On the level beneath, Sam and Kurt exchanged glances. “It’s not working,” Kurt reported quietly. “As long as he’s at the top of the pyramid, he can keep picking us off one by one.”
“We’ve got to try,” Sam said determinedly. He raised his flaming sword high above his head and jumped.
“Sam, DON’T!” Kurt shouted, and Karofsky turned from where he’d just snatched Blaine’s wand away from him.
“Finite Incantantem!” Karofsky shouted, pointing the wand. The sword in Sam’s hands shattered and he sailed past Karofsky, right over the top of the pyramid, before he landed and tumbled bodily down its side. As Sam fell to the last level, his body began blinking red.
Karofsky turned: Kurt was climbing up to the top level, staring at him unblinkingly. Sam raised his head just in time to see Kurt - rather than attack Karofsky - put his arms around the other boy’s shoulders. Kurt’s smile was close-lipped and tight; as Sam watched, Kurt leaned in toward Karofsky’s face.
“That’s my man,” Karofsky grunted, grinning. “Knew I’d win you over with my moves.”
“I’m more of a man than you’ll ever be,” Kurt whispered sweetly in his ear, and kneed Karofsky in the balls.
CROTCH SHOT! +7000
Karofsky yelled in furious pain. As he doubled over, Blaine reached forward and grabbed his wand back. He raised it to cast a spell, but before he could, Karofsky straightened up, looked over to Blaine, and punched him in the face. Blaine flew backward, wand falling out of his hand and into Karofsky’s, and Karofsky broke it in half. Blaine landed next to Sam on the ground, and the two of them exchanged glances, then looked up and gasped in horror. Karofsky had turned and socked Kurt in the jaw; as blood flew out of Kurt’s mouth, a blinker appeared above him, exclaiming, “BAD!! BAD!! BAD!!”
But Karofsky didn’t stop. Kurt fell to the ground and Karofsky lashed out and kicked him in the side, hard. Kurt cried out as he tumbled down the side of the pyramid, body flashing red as well; Karofsky, enraged, leapt into the air after him.
He landed on the bottom level, next to where Kurt’s body had come to rest; as Kurt groaned and looked up, he found Karofsky’s foot inches from his face.
“Any last words, fairy?” Karofsky snarled.
Kurt coughed - and then, bizarrely, he smiled. “You’re on our level now, sweetheart.”
Karofsky barely had time to register what he’d said before the rest of the Glee Club was upon him from all sides. Karofsky was kicked and punched and thrown and bitten in every way there was, tossed around like a ragdoll amongst the thirteen enraged members of Glee.
TEAM EFFORT! +20,000
Finally, Sam grabbed Karofsky and forced him into a headlock; Karofsky struggled madly, but his health bar had reappeared beneath him and it was almost completely empty. He couldn’t break Sam’s grip.
The rest of Glee slowly stepped backward, until they were in a circle around Sam, Karofsky, and the fallen Kurt. Kurt struggled to his feet as in front of him, Karofsky begin to laugh lowly. “Who do you think you are, Hummel?” he snarled, face turning red from Sam’s headlock. “You think you’re better than me or something?”
“No,” Kurt said simply. “I know it. Now kiss this.”
And he lashed out with a kick that went above his own head, hitting Karofsky square in the face.
K.O.! +7,000,000,000
Karofsky dissolved into coins in Sam’s arms.
After the club had gathered up the money that had appeared after Karofsky's defeat (thereby guaranteeing their staying power with Figgins for a very, very long time) and finished celebrating, Sam and Kurt found themselves alone, the last to leave the choir room after everyone else.
“I’m surprised Karofsky didn’t regenerate here,” Kurt remarked lightly, surveying the empty room.
“He made the locker room his home base,” Sam explained, sitting down beside Kurt. “But since he sucked at it, there’s a time delay. He and the other football players won’t regenerate for a long time.”
“That’s good to know.” Kurt smiled.
Silence descended upon them for a few moments, but it was comfortable, familiar. “So,” Kurt said, eventually. “You’ve defeated the league of Seven Evil Ex-Boyfriends...”
“Exes,” Sam corrected. “Brittany, remember.”
“Ah. Right,” Kurt said, covering his face with one hand. “I’d almost managed to repress that.”
“Making out with her couldn’t have been that bad,” Sam teased.
“She asked me to kiss her armpits.”
Sam blinked. “I take it back.”
There was silence for another moment, then Kurt continued. “So you’ve defeated the League of Seven Evil Exes, and we’re now technically dating...”
“Yes?” Sam prompted.
“Does that mean we can make out now?” Kurt asked.
Sam laughed. “Thought you’d never ask,” he said.
They leaned in -
- and Sam woke up.
Dammit!
“Sam, are you gonna sleep all day?” came his sister’s voice, floating up from downstairs. “Just ’cause it’s Saturday doesn’t mean you have to, you know.”
“I’m getting up,” Sam finally called, voice hoarse, as he sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. A dream. It’d all been a deranged and incredibly fantastic dream. He glanced at his clock - 1:52 PM - as he tried to sort out the various memories.
It had all seemed so real. One thing was for certain: Dream-Sam had been remarkably forward. He hadn’t wasted any time in asking Kurt out, fighting for the right to date him, and even admitting that he was in love with the guy a little bit. Frowning, Sam considered it. Was he in love with Kurt? It certainly seemed possible - the dream was vivid enough - but this was the real world, where seven epic fights to the death in a row didn’t usually take place, and if they did, they weren’t crammed into the span of two days.
But Sam could definitely admit that he liked Kurt. That was why he’d been so worried about him last night, Sam realized - he genuinely cared about Kurt and wanted to see him happy. And from the few exchanges they’d had, the two of them had gotten along remarkably well.
Sam made his decision and, with a smile, picked up his phone.
“Hey, Kurt? Yeah, it’s Sam. Listen... do you wanna hang out?”
THE END