I find myself in a situation I never expected to be in. I know it will all eventually be ok, but this next week, and forseable future, are going to be stressful and hectic.

By the gods do I love you. I want to scream it at the top of my lungs and shout it to the world. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would meet anyone like you, feel this way about anyone, want to be with anyone the way I want to be with you. It hurts to not be with you. Whenever we have to part I feel a real, physical pain. I have been ( Read more... )

I love you.

We've done our 2020 fuck up. Never thought I'd be doing what I am doing, but I can't find it in me to regret or stop.

I want to do something stupid. Something big and potentially life ruining. Perhaps even life endingly? Will it be worth it? Who knows! I don't know what it is I want to do, but I know it's going to be stupid and have unpleasant consequences

Its been 16 years since I made this journal, and sometimes I still feel like the depressed, emo teenager who first made this account. So much yet so little has changed since I was 17. Nights like tonight I get hit with an overwhelming sense of sadness that feels so old. Honestly, it feels almost like I'm homesick, but for nowhere and everywhere. ( Read more... )

I usually don't set a resolution or goal at the New Year because I think it's dumb. Why wait till the start of the year to make changes? I started making some changes to my life in July, however I have made a list of things I would like to accomplish in 2020. Mostly just a continuation of what I am already doing, but maybe making a list will make ( Read more... )

So I haven't been to the gym in two weeks. First it was because I spent two days crazy sick. I gave myself a day after feeling better just to be safe. Then I went to the doctor and was told I has overdoing it at the gym, losing too much weight * too fast and was putting too much stress on my body. I have spent the last ten days being incredibly ( Read more... )

I will not be making my 500 mile goal by the end of the year. I went to my doctor the other day and was actually told to cut back on my working out. I have been pushing myself too hard and have been stressing my body out, in addition to losing too much weight while not adding muscle. This is part of why I have been getting sick so easy and so bady ( Read more... )

I only have 130 miles left to meet my goal. While I should really go out and hit the gym today I need a break. My last two nights at the gym I upped the ante and did 10.17 and 8.01 miles. The most I usually do is 7, so I'm a little sore right now.