Arashi - Unconscious

[jelly_fic]

Title: Unconscious
Fandom: Arashi
Pairing: gen, some ohmiya
Rating: G
Word count: 568
Notes: This was an experiment in writing. I made a conscious decision to avoid stating exactly what Nino was thinking or feeling. I tried to get the point across some other way instead. I'm not sure if I succeeded. Er, I think I did?

Comments

[ant_power]

I think you succeeded, this is really awesome. You really get a sense of how Nino's feeling with how you describe the room, it really feels cold and empty, and I love how he instinctively knows where the rest of Arashi are. I really love the way you describe how Sho sleeps, in comparison with Aiba. And I especially love how he is warmed up by Ohno. <3 The last line ties it all together perfectly. I think this is great!!

[jelly_fic]

Yay, thank you! :D
I'm never quite sure how people take these experiments of mine...

[ant_power]

No problem! I think if this is the result, you should definitely keep experimenting!

[honeypuffed]

Wow, well this is different than I was expecting lol. I love the description used in this :D :D

[jelly_fic]

what were you expecting? XD
thanks~

[fluttering]

I love this style. It flows wonderfully, and the token ohmiya is precious ♥ ♥

[jelly_fic]

thaanks~ the flow is really important to me so I'm happy that you think so. ♥

[thefrug]

this was really written well. The slight mention of Ohmiya was the perfect amount and Nino is this fic seemed dead on. I really enjoyed it!!
<3
Shan

[jelly_fic]

Thank you!
heh, I can't seem to be able to leave ohmiya out of any of my fics. ;o;

[still_ciircee]

Can I just say that the image of Jun putting food on their plates for them is adorable? Oh, Jun, you are so squishy for your retarded bandmates. That said: there is a lovely mood to this piece, like it echoes around Nino. And it keeps that feeling until he joins his (awake) friends and you just know that Aiba is going to wake up and join them any minute. I really like it.

[starsystems]

I think I actually saw him do that once. Or maybe I dreamed it... x3
Thank you!