dont get me wrong. i love my friends dearly, and always want to help them in any way i can. but i really should've let my friend know that she was rite to assume that her confession was too much for me to handle. i went shopping witha gf of mine that i dont chill with too often these days, and while we did we got a glass of wine and she told me of ( Read more... )

so i'm finally getting over my b.s. never goin out old lady hump. i dragged my sorry as out at 10 to mag's then to martin jacks, or some irsish pub- whichw as hilarious bc there we were in this college bar in the middle of haight st. out of nowhere this girl starts chatting us up about dirty martinis. i'm lookinga round liek -where am i? rememberin ( Read more... )

jacob told me the other day that a sign of depression, or at least morose- is becoming nostalgic. thinking of moments of the past to escape into and make urself feel good. i've ben doing a lot of that these days. lately it seems like all i've been doing this past year is coping. coping withe the move, the loss of community, the complete bafflement ( Read more... )

mmmm gooble day ( Read more... )

So my birthday ended up being really chill. i went ice skating with kubbie, then bowling, then to thristy bear and cuddled with him when i got home. i suied teh yoga mat and bag he gave me tonight and they were both amazing. totally an encouragement to keep practicing. i went to therapy today thought and explained that iw as still really pissed. my ( Read more... )

so yesterday was my birthday
i pampered myself
got a weird haircut n now i look like a hipster -boo
learned u never get haircuts on ur bday
n got drunk n went ice skating and bowling- woot woot!
now i am so tired
n hung over
n
at work
some one come rescue me now i wanna go home

When i was about 17, i started reflecting on the eve of my birthday. since then i've used every night before my upcoming birthdays to think about what i had accomplished, what i had learned, what i had given up, or was given to deal with that year. i 've always felt like birthdays are a big deal becuase they're a new year for you to do things right ( Read more... )

lately i've been contemplating going home to the east coast. i've been in CA for over a year now, done pretty well and started to figure myself out all over againb. it's been hard bc i'm only now really making friends, only now find jobs thaqt i really want to work, only now getting to know the rest of cali or even what sf is about. when i gave ( Read more... )

why does it always feel like just when we want to take a great leap, we start freaking out an flailing mid-air? one day i feel confident, the next day i dont want to leave the house, and the day after that im terrfied of staying inside? sometime i wonder if i will ever be happy. maybe that gvuy in magnolia was right - 'being happy is easy' but ( Read more... )

yowsa its been a while. i guess i should just startf rom the beginning. i was fishing around online trying to gather up remnants and remainders of my sordid past and came across lj. gotta give them credit, who else will keep ur account active after about a year of inactivity ( Read more... )