Love Is

[jemauvais]

Was talking to a friend on MSN tonight and he made a quip about the essence of love which I have not realised before.  He simply said:

"Love is giving someone the power to hurt you."
And it is rather true, if you think about it.

Comments

[marianne]

love = vulnerability

[tomatojuice]

such a cynical view of love!

[mappleleaf]

This is a very one-sided view. Love is certainly about opening up, which allows someone to find something to love you for in the first place. But love is also about a million other things, which one can't compress into a simple sentence without doing it grave injustice...

[frimframsauce]

Bullcrap.

If you accept that that is an aspect of "love", then that is what you're gonna get. Remember we once talked about the dysfunction of codependency in relationships - as in, if you NEED her to be/say/do something to MAKE you feel happy/loved, or vice versa, then it is not Love.

Consider it infatuation. Because if you love someone you'd be happy for her if she was happy, even if she rejects you and finds happiness elsewhere. Anything else is just needy infatuation.

Know that you have everything you need within yourself to be happy, fulfilled and complete.

[jemauvais]

I'm so glad to hear from you again; whenever I'm down or troubled you always seem to provide a more sensible opinion that offers a different perspective. :)

I agree with your two points, but the thing is, it's not that you will need someone to be or say or do something to make you feel happy, rather it is that someone has the ability to do or be or say something that will make you feel terrible and broken up.

After all, there has to be some form of dependency in love-if you detach yourself to the point where everything you are on your own will suffice, and nothing anyone else does can affect you, then that's not really love, is it?

[frimframsauce]

Well , to use your words, everything you are on your own will suffice. It's true. However you can still, by choice, let people affect you. But it's a proactive decision. For example, you can choose to let people inspire you. At the same time, you choose not to let people get you down with their own issues. (Actually in that way you can help them more than if you were "affected" by them, if you want to.) This creates empowering relationships. There is still compassion, patience, endurance but not much anguish/angst.

Not like reactive "love", where you can't help but be high on cloud 9, or, feel like crap. So reactive, so disempowring. You sure this is healthy? Or even wise?

Read this. a classic example of how proactive (instead of reactive) one can be in a relationship. (taught me what's possible, man!!)

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/fashion/02love.html?_r=3&em

have you heard of the phrase " She is just not that into you" ?

[jemauvais]

Well it's not in reference to unrequited love per se; if you think about it, she might be really into you, but passion is a very unpredictable thing, and people have been known to hurt those they love for unfathomable reasons.

Heh, I'll go take a look at that NYT article. :P