(no subject)
Title: Right Now
Rating: PG-13
By: Jenda Vis
Spoilers: Up through Broken Ties
Pairing: Sheppard/Dex
Genre: Angst, veering into AU
Warnings: Dubious unbetaed prose
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, don't take this too seriously.
Summary: Right now, things are a mess.
A/N: Just something I almost threw inside IATW that wouldn't leave me alone.
Right Now #1
John shoves Ronon out of the way, taps his radio on as he drops to his knees, checking her pulse. Gets through to the infirmary, does everything he's supposed to do, because he hadn't done anything he was supposed to the first time around. Like think this shit through.
So. Fucking. Stupid.
When he turns back he knows that Ronon's already gone, but the medics are already arriving, already preparing to take Ronon's mother- she's only unconscious- stunned, he's checked already- down to the infirmary.
---
Ronon's not in his quarters, he's not anywhere in the city. Sheppard has to grab a scanner, finds one life sign already out at the edge of the city, and he's not sure yet, but it's the most logical guess, so he begins to walk.
He scuffs his boots deliberately as he draws near, knowing that he's already blown Ronon's trust at least once today. And his mother's too. Nice work, John. Doesn't need to startle him twice. Makes sure his approach is heard, wondering just who it is he's trying to protect, here.
Ronon's got his back against the wall of the easternmost tower, but he's still standing. Arms crossed, he's glancing away from John already, starts to shake his head.
Ronon sighs, sounds annoyed. "What the hell was that?"
"That was your mother."
"My mother died a long time ago."
"As far as you know," John amends, tries to sound more certain than apologetic. "Sit down, I'll tell you about it."
---
"Lorne's team was back on Bavno again, you know. Helping with the Ancient translations the locals hadn't figured out yet. He's there with Doctor Shermer, you know, the linguist?"
"Yeah."
"Well, Shermer met this woman, a refugee from Sateda, and started asking some questions. Finds out her surname was Dex and that she lost her son about ten years ago. Shermer asked Lorne about it, because she wasn't sure she should say anything, and Lorne decided likewise, so he farmed it over to me."
"That was yesterday?"
"Yeah. I went out there today with some photos, managed to make her not freak out, and probably broke about seventeen quarantine protocols getting her here, but Woolsey's a softer touch than you'd think."
"What if it's. If she's a. You know."
"A wraithworshipper? She didn't sound like one. Asked around with her neighbors, checked her out before I talked to her. Made sure she wasn't a threat, even if she does share your sense of humor, and probably was the one to teach you how to hide knives all over the place."
---
Right now, Ronon's glaring out over the water like it's not supposed to be this bright during the day, because it's distracting. He just needs a minute to think.
Eventually, he cuts his eyes towards Sheppard. "You're serious." He's not asking anymore, but he's not hoping yet, either, like it still doesn't feel real.
"Yes."
He's straightening his spine now, steeling himself for the answer. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I just didn't want to get your hopes up." I knew it would fuck with you if it all fell through, a lot more than either of us are gonna say. "After that, I guess I just wanted to surprise you."
"Don't like surprises."
"No shit," John shrugs, wonders if he should tell him the rest, the things that've been lurking in his brain ever since he got back. This might make you leave, go away with her, because we're both too fucked right now for you to want to stay. He also doesn't say this was supposed to be the grand gesture that was going to fix everything, but now I'm not so sure. He does say, "I'm really fucking sorry," because he knows he means that, at least.
But he's not ready to hear Ronon's laughter, even as manic as it is. Finally laughs along and gives him this look like he's insane, the same one he's been wanting to shoot him for three weeks now.
"Sorry? You brought my mom back." Ronon shakes his head, and he's still grinning, because he's forgotten how messed things are. Just for a moment, he's trusting John again, who feels like it might stick this time, but he trails off again. He's lost in thought for a while.
"I never even looked for her," he admits at length, pursing his lips and shaking his head, casting his eyeroll up towards the sky like he knows exactly how badly he fucked up, and doesn't need John to remind him.
"You didn't know she was still there to be found."
"I should have looked anyway. She's my mother. She raised me better than this, you know," Ronon rubs his hand over his face. He's trying to clear his head of the admission.
"Think she raised you just fine," John shrugs, but he's pretty sure he understands enough.
"I shot her, John. That is fucked up, right?"
"Yes, but you only stunned her. Which is still fucked up. But you wouldn't have if I warned you about it."
"You shouldn't have had to."
"Well, fine. You shot your mom, and she's going to be pissed when she wakes up. But she is going to wake up. Probably pretty soon. We should get you down there."
Ronon stands up, scratches at his side. Reaches down to help John stand like he's forgotten about shying away. "Right."
Ronon leads the way back towards the city, but his steps slow once they're inside. Keller's on the radio, now, and she's telling Sheppard that Ms. Dex is awake, that she's being released to the guest quarters. John tries to step up their pace, but Ronon's hesitating again.
Now what? "What is it?"
"You know how you said it would be easier if you warned me?"
"Yeah?"
"It's not."
John pauses, like he has to consider his response. "Yeah, but hey." Waits for Ronon to look over to him, and just gives him this look because he's missing the damned point. "Ronon. Your mom's alive, and she's waiting to see you."
And Ronon's trying out that smile again, the one like he knows what Christmas tastes like, tries to carry it all the way to the transporter.
The news has already spread through the city, and John feels the eyes because Ronon can't, not at the moment, because there are a lot of things the guy just can't deal with right now. Wonders how many others are hanging their hopes on the door at the end of the hallway.
Ronon freezes, outside the door, of course he does, and he's not looking at John yet, and he's not asking, but John leans into him, a little so he doesn't have to.
"Want me to do it?"
"Yeah." It's all he can manage.
"Right." And John waves his hand up over the chime, figures he can press his luck enough to brush his arm against Ronon's as he brings it back down.
The door opens, and John wishes he'd taken a step back already, because he has no idea what Ronon's face looks like right now, how it compares to his mother's, and he wants to know that more than anything, but instead, he figures he should make introductions, just so someone starts talking.
"Ty Dex? Meet Ronon, ah. Dex. Ronon, meet Ty. Don't shoot her this time."
They're all frozen there, for a minute, and John steps back a little now, nudges Ronon forward a little, and that's all the push that the moment needed, because he's stepping into her arms and John can barely see her over his shoulder, just her arms wrapping tight around his back, and someone's starting to sob, so John looks away, checks the hall to make sure he's the only voyeur here.
He's not, he catches Banks ducking back into the lounge, looking smitten with life, and he's pretty sure he should never have to witness that, so he turns back, coughs, might mention something about moving this inside.
Ronon's giggling like he's lost his mind, and he's flushed and happy, but he can still follow orders when he's stupid, and he breaks away for a minute. Follows his mother into her room and spins when he feels John's not right there behind him like he's supposed to be.
"I've got to check in with Woolsey, do the debriefing, let you guys catch up. You'll be alright?"
"Yeah," Ronon says, frenetic and awkward, like he wasn't expecting to go in alone but he's not going to ask.
"You guys come find me when you want to grab dinner, how's that sound," John offers, because at least one of them should be able to come up with an out, and it's the only one he can think of that will get him out of here before he starts walking around with that idiotic look Banks is probably still wearing.
Ronon nods, schooling his features into a promise, and John turns away, realizing that he's grinning like a moron anyway.
Decides to go find McKay, because if he tells him first, he's just updating his teammate on important developments, and not gossiping like a fifteen year-old girl.
---
McKay's pissed, but John hasn't figured out if it's because he thinks he's the last to hear, or because John's wasting his time with this idiotic nonsense. Little of both, maybe, but McKay will reschedule his very important science for half an hour to come down there and make sure the rest of you idiots haven't been taken over by some alien brainwashing entity.
Teyla's on the mainland, and Sheppard's missing her, because by the time he's made it back to his office, he's heard one too many squeals and three too many questions that he himself wasn't planning on asking, let alone fielding.
They're all along the lines of do you think he'll stay here? Why would he? If it was your family…
He being an asshole for the third time in a day, he knows it, and right now, Teyla's pretty much the only one he could admit it to.
Loses himself in paperwork for a while, but he quits, decides that he's too useless for it, heads back to his room. Tries to read a five-issues-old Golf magazine, but he hasn't cared about the game in four months.
Stares at the wall a bit, pretends like he's not waiting for the door to chime.
---
The door doesn't chime, but his radio chirps, and he's online again, he's out the door, making his way to the mess.
Grabs his food, a bottle of water, because coffee would just get spilled all over the damned place. Pretends for nine seconds not to notice Ronon leaning over to listen to a woman who isn't Teyla, tracking his progress across the room.
Apart from the disbelief that hasn't yet made it out of Ronon's eyes, they've got the same damned smirk, but Ronon's kicking the chair out directly across the table from himself, and brushes his foot accidentally against John's when he sits down.
"John Sheppard," Ronon begins, with no hint of irony in his voice, but at least he's moved on past the yeahs from before. "Meet Ty Dex, my mother. Mother, this is John Sheppard. They shake hands here, too," he advises, sounds a little excited. Like he's never been able to explain Earth culture to anyone else before. Guess he hasn't. "Weird, huh?'
"Nice to meet you," John says, takes her hand across the table, and her grip's firm and this isn't as awkward as he's pretty sure it's supposed to be. "Again." It's worse.
"It is nice to meet you as well, John Sheppard,"
"Call me John." He can't stop studying her. She's not Ronon's height, but she's tall, and her hair used to be dark, but it's fading to white, and he spots a knife dangling behind her ear. Wants to ask how many Satedans injure themselves shrugging.
"And I am Ty," and her eyes are intense, returning John's scrutiny, but she's making an effort to get past it. "So, Ronon's told me how you all met. How you are the reason he is no longer a runner," she says, like she's still testing out the concept.
"Yeah. Took us hostage."
"You didn't tell me that," Ty spins on Ronon, who's sheepish, and it takes a minute to realize that parental humiliation might just be the only interplanetary credit card, and John just loses it.
"It's all right. He's apologized since. Saved our asses a few times since, so we're even."
"Good." Ty is distracted, and Ronon's gone from looking thrown to absolutely horrified, so John turns to follow their gaze to see McKay steamrolling through the mess towards them. Kicks Ronon a little under the table under the guise of making room, and sits back to wait for the next act to begin.
Right Now #3
Rating: PG-13
By: Jenda Vis
Spoilers: Up through Broken Ties
Pairing: Sheppard/Dex
Genre: Angst, veering into AU
Warnings: Dubious unbetaed prose
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, don't take this too seriously.
Summary: Right now, things are a mess.
A/N: Just something I almost threw inside IATW that wouldn't leave me alone.
Right Now #1
John shoves Ronon out of the way, taps his radio on as he drops to his knees, checking her pulse. Gets through to the infirmary, does everything he's supposed to do, because he hadn't done anything he was supposed to the first time around. Like think this shit through.
So. Fucking. Stupid.
When he turns back he knows that Ronon's already gone, but the medics are already arriving, already preparing to take Ronon's mother- she's only unconscious- stunned, he's checked already- down to the infirmary.
---
Ronon's not in his quarters, he's not anywhere in the city. Sheppard has to grab a scanner, finds one life sign already out at the edge of the city, and he's not sure yet, but it's the most logical guess, so he begins to walk.
He scuffs his boots deliberately as he draws near, knowing that he's already blown Ronon's trust at least once today. And his mother's too. Nice work, John. Doesn't need to startle him twice. Makes sure his approach is heard, wondering just who it is he's trying to protect, here.
Ronon's got his back against the wall of the easternmost tower, but he's still standing. Arms crossed, he's glancing away from John already, starts to shake his head.
Ronon sighs, sounds annoyed. "What the hell was that?"
"That was your mother."
"My mother died a long time ago."
"As far as you know," John amends, tries to sound more certain than apologetic. "Sit down, I'll tell you about it."
---
"Lorne's team was back on Bavno again, you know. Helping with the Ancient translations the locals hadn't figured out yet. He's there with Doctor Shermer, you know, the linguist?"
"Yeah."
"Well, Shermer met this woman, a refugee from Sateda, and started asking some questions. Finds out her surname was Dex and that she lost her son about ten years ago. Shermer asked Lorne about it, because she wasn't sure she should say anything, and Lorne decided likewise, so he farmed it over to me."
"That was yesterday?"
"Yeah. I went out there today with some photos, managed to make her not freak out, and probably broke about seventeen quarantine protocols getting her here, but Woolsey's a softer touch than you'd think."
"What if it's. If she's a. You know."
"A wraithworshipper? She didn't sound like one. Asked around with her neighbors, checked her out before I talked to her. Made sure she wasn't a threat, even if she does share your sense of humor, and probably was the one to teach you how to hide knives all over the place."
---
Right now, Ronon's glaring out over the water like it's not supposed to be this bright during the day, because it's distracting. He just needs a minute to think.
Eventually, he cuts his eyes towards Sheppard. "You're serious." He's not asking anymore, but he's not hoping yet, either, like it still doesn't feel real.
"Yes."
He's straightening his spine now, steeling himself for the answer. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I just didn't want to get your hopes up." I knew it would fuck with you if it all fell through, a lot more than either of us are gonna say. "After that, I guess I just wanted to surprise you."
"Don't like surprises."
"No shit," John shrugs, wonders if he should tell him the rest, the things that've been lurking in his brain ever since he got back. This might make you leave, go away with her, because we're both too fucked right now for you to want to stay. He also doesn't say this was supposed to be the grand gesture that was going to fix everything, but now I'm not so sure. He does say, "I'm really fucking sorry," because he knows he means that, at least.
But he's not ready to hear Ronon's laughter, even as manic as it is. Finally laughs along and gives him this look like he's insane, the same one he's been wanting to shoot him for three weeks now.
"Sorry? You brought my mom back." Ronon shakes his head, and he's still grinning, because he's forgotten how messed things are. Just for a moment, he's trusting John again, who feels like it might stick this time, but he trails off again. He's lost in thought for a while.
"I never even looked for her," he admits at length, pursing his lips and shaking his head, casting his eyeroll up towards the sky like he knows exactly how badly he fucked up, and doesn't need John to remind him.
"You didn't know she was still there to be found."
"I should have looked anyway. She's my mother. She raised me better than this, you know," Ronon rubs his hand over his face. He's trying to clear his head of the admission.
"Think she raised you just fine," John shrugs, but he's pretty sure he understands enough.
"I shot her, John. That is fucked up, right?"
"Yes, but you only stunned her. Which is still fucked up. But you wouldn't have if I warned you about it."
"You shouldn't have had to."
"Well, fine. You shot your mom, and she's going to be pissed when she wakes up. But she is going to wake up. Probably pretty soon. We should get you down there."
Ronon stands up, scratches at his side. Reaches down to help John stand like he's forgotten about shying away. "Right."
Ronon leads the way back towards the city, but his steps slow once they're inside. Keller's on the radio, now, and she's telling Sheppard that Ms. Dex is awake, that she's being released to the guest quarters. John tries to step up their pace, but Ronon's hesitating again.
Now what? "What is it?"
"You know how you said it would be easier if you warned me?"
"Yeah?"
"It's not."
John pauses, like he has to consider his response. "Yeah, but hey." Waits for Ronon to look over to him, and just gives him this look because he's missing the damned point. "Ronon. Your mom's alive, and she's waiting to see you."
And Ronon's trying out that smile again, the one like he knows what Christmas tastes like, tries to carry it all the way to the transporter.
The news has already spread through the city, and John feels the eyes because Ronon can't, not at the moment, because there are a lot of things the guy just can't deal with right now. Wonders how many others are hanging their hopes on the door at the end of the hallway.
Ronon freezes, outside the door, of course he does, and he's not looking at John yet, and he's not asking, but John leans into him, a little so he doesn't have to.
"Want me to do it?"
"Yeah." It's all he can manage.
"Right." And John waves his hand up over the chime, figures he can press his luck enough to brush his arm against Ronon's as he brings it back down.
The door opens, and John wishes he'd taken a step back already, because he has no idea what Ronon's face looks like right now, how it compares to his mother's, and he wants to know that more than anything, but instead, he figures he should make introductions, just so someone starts talking.
"Ty Dex? Meet Ronon, ah. Dex. Ronon, meet Ty. Don't shoot her this time."
They're all frozen there, for a minute, and John steps back a little now, nudges Ronon forward a little, and that's all the push that the moment needed, because he's stepping into her arms and John can barely see her over his shoulder, just her arms wrapping tight around his back, and someone's starting to sob, so John looks away, checks the hall to make sure he's the only voyeur here.
He's not, he catches Banks ducking back into the lounge, looking smitten with life, and he's pretty sure he should never have to witness that, so he turns back, coughs, might mention something about moving this inside.
Ronon's giggling like he's lost his mind, and he's flushed and happy, but he can still follow orders when he's stupid, and he breaks away for a minute. Follows his mother into her room and spins when he feels John's not right there behind him like he's supposed to be.
"I've got to check in with Woolsey, do the debriefing, let you guys catch up. You'll be alright?"
"Yeah," Ronon says, frenetic and awkward, like he wasn't expecting to go in alone but he's not going to ask.
"You guys come find me when you want to grab dinner, how's that sound," John offers, because at least one of them should be able to come up with an out, and it's the only one he can think of that will get him out of here before he starts walking around with that idiotic look Banks is probably still wearing.
Ronon nods, schooling his features into a promise, and John turns away, realizing that he's grinning like a moron anyway.
Decides to go find McKay, because if he tells him first, he's just updating his teammate on important developments, and not gossiping like a fifteen year-old girl.
---
McKay's pissed, but John hasn't figured out if it's because he thinks he's the last to hear, or because John's wasting his time with this idiotic nonsense. Little of both, maybe, but McKay will reschedule his very important science for half an hour to come down there and make sure the rest of you idiots haven't been taken over by some alien brainwashing entity.
Teyla's on the mainland, and Sheppard's missing her, because by the time he's made it back to his office, he's heard one too many squeals and three too many questions that he himself wasn't planning on asking, let alone fielding.
They're all along the lines of do you think he'll stay here? Why would he? If it was your family…
He being an asshole for the third time in a day, he knows it, and right now, Teyla's pretty much the only one he could admit it to.
Loses himself in paperwork for a while, but he quits, decides that he's too useless for it, heads back to his room. Tries to read a five-issues-old Golf magazine, but he hasn't cared about the game in four months.
Stares at the wall a bit, pretends like he's not waiting for the door to chime.
---
The door doesn't chime, but his radio chirps, and he's online again, he's out the door, making his way to the mess.
Grabs his food, a bottle of water, because coffee would just get spilled all over the damned place. Pretends for nine seconds not to notice Ronon leaning over to listen to a woman who isn't Teyla, tracking his progress across the room.
Apart from the disbelief that hasn't yet made it out of Ronon's eyes, they've got the same damned smirk, but Ronon's kicking the chair out directly across the table from himself, and brushes his foot accidentally against John's when he sits down.
"John Sheppard," Ronon begins, with no hint of irony in his voice, but at least he's moved on past the yeahs from before. "Meet Ty Dex, my mother. Mother, this is John Sheppard. They shake hands here, too," he advises, sounds a little excited. Like he's never been able to explain Earth culture to anyone else before. Guess he hasn't. "Weird, huh?'
"Nice to meet you," John says, takes her hand across the table, and her grip's firm and this isn't as awkward as he's pretty sure it's supposed to be. "Again." It's worse.
"It is nice to meet you as well, John Sheppard,"
"Call me John." He can't stop studying her. She's not Ronon's height, but she's tall, and her hair used to be dark, but it's fading to white, and he spots a knife dangling behind her ear. Wants to ask how many Satedans injure themselves shrugging.
"And I am Ty," and her eyes are intense, returning John's scrutiny, but she's making an effort to get past it. "So, Ronon's told me how you all met. How you are the reason he is no longer a runner," she says, like she's still testing out the concept.
"Yeah. Took us hostage."
"You didn't tell me that," Ty spins on Ronon, who's sheepish, and it takes a minute to realize that parental humiliation might just be the only interplanetary credit card, and John just loses it.
"It's all right. He's apologized since. Saved our asses a few times since, so we're even."
"Good." Ty is distracted, and Ronon's gone from looking thrown to absolutely horrified, so John turns to follow their gaze to see McKay steamrolling through the mess towards them. Kicks Ronon a little under the table under the guise of making room, and sits back to wait for the next act to begin.
Right Now #3