Famous Last Words # 6
Title: Famous Last Words
Fandom/ Pairing The Losers (comic 'verse, with some help from the movie), eventual Jensen/Cougar
Rating: R overall
Summary: Cougar was bleeding all over the bomb in his lap, the last time Jensen saw him. But that was then.
Link to Master List & Previous Chapters
Five more days, and Cougar would be on his way to Chicago. Another day or so after that, he'd see Jensen again, and they'd be moving in to take action.
Cougar had never gotten the hang of Tokyo the way Roque or Jensen had, and it still made him tense. It was just the usual threats, with the usual local variations, but now included stores selling Hello Kitty crap by the ton.
Looking back on it now, Cougar knew he would've gotten shot on that job, either way, but the kitten bandages they'd found for him had been a bit much, and the "Hello Cougar" jokes had definitely been.
It was easier to get Sashimi in the middle of the ocean than it was to get it on the end of his chopsticks, and but practicing gave him something to concentrate on other than the fact that Aisha hadn't shown.
There was no way to know if he'd shaken her too well, or if she'd been recalled. Maybe Borodin, whoever the hell he was, had taken her seriously and they were meeting in an office somewhere, coming up with a new strategy.
Maybe he could go home, soon. At least start figuring out where the hell that was supposed to be. Juarez, maybe. Austin had been long enough ago that it wouldn't matter. Maybe Jensen would call him, soon, to say that the danger was gone, that it was all some big misunderstanding, and that Toronto was lovely, this time of year.
No diga sandeces.
By the time, later on, that he would've stopped to think about the coincidence, it would be only in terms that there was no such thing. It didn't stop him from jumping in his seat, startled by the vibration of the phone in his pocket. Jensen's name was on the caller ID.
---
The relief he felt seeing that Jensen was calling was quickly squashed by the fact that Jensen was calling. Something was wrong.
"Qué pasa?" Cougar asked, wondering if this was how they'd always talk, now.
"Hey, man, ah. Look. I'm really sorry, but. It's your family." Cougar probably would've evaporated if he didn't need so badly to hear what came next. "Your grandmother, Hector, Marisa and Carlos. Somebody went after them three days ago. You got eyes on Aisha?" Jensen stopped himself, Cougar could feel him taking a breath on the other end of the line and wondered when his own body would remember to do likewise. Jensen, though, kept talking. "Fuck, That came out really badly. I mean. I'm sorry."
Cougar forced the air into his lungs and back out again. He was on mission, everything else had to wait a minute. Esto primero. "Haven't seen her in a week, either I lost her, or she gave up."
"I'll see what I can search out." Jensen's next words sounded even worse, answering the question Cougar hadn't yet had time to consider. "And, ah... I mean, I'm really fucking sorry, but. It looks like the funeral's tomorrow, and-."
Cougar closed his eyes, momentarily blocking out another pack giggling girls walking past, outside the window. "It's probably a trap," he realized, trying to keep Jensen on track. "Your sister's safe?"
"Yeah. Told her to go get groceries anyway. Calling Pooch and Jolene next," he said, leaving Cougar to supply the code for himself. GeT FOOD. Get The Fuck Out Of Dodge.
He nodded into the phone, biting down on the fucked up anger at hearing that they were safe while he'd just lost everything. Finally. For good. "Is there anything else?"
"Ah. No. Stegler's going in to feel out a new inside man at Goliath, and I'm just sitting here spreading bad news." When Cougar didn't answer, he continued. "Look, man. I know we've got to be careful, and that I'll be seeing you next week, but if you want to talk, or whatever-"
Cougar wasn't sure, moments later, why he'd hung up then, cutting Jensen off mid-stream, but he didn't call him back, either.
---
Wow. You fucked up.
Jensen was a big enough man to admit that he was kind of an asshole, even if he was taken aback when Cougar hung up on him.
Smooth moves, Ex-Lax.
And the funny thing? He'd mostly called because he'd thought it would've sounded better coming from a friend. He'd rehearsed it in his head when he called his sister in a panic, telling her to go get groceries. Practiced it some more in the minute before he dialed Cougar's number.
Not enough, jackass. Again.
Because that was the thing, wasn't it? All this bullshit, wasting time on scrounged crumbs in hopes that at some point, they might just figure out what the fuck Aisha was up to? Hell, even if she'd been sitting across the table from him, having a perfectly civil conversation over tea and crumpets, there'd be no telling what was going on in her head.
If they'd waited it out, just sat on their asses in Antigua, she would've come back. Probably would've killed them. Which, yeah, obviously, would've sucked, but…
There weren't too many people Jensen would die for. His sister and niece, obviously, and if the bullets started flying, who the hell knew, maybe Cougar, too It wasn't something he was going out of his way to test out, but the way things were going, Jensen wouldn't be that surprised if it happened.
He had no idea if Cougar kept a similar list under that hat of his, he'd never asked. But if he did, though, Jensen was sure that his family would've been on it.
Damn it, why couldn't that bitch have left the kid?
The worst part, though? As fucked up as he himself felt, he knew Cougar was feeling worse. Jensen hadn't pulled any triggers, but if he hadn't told him to lead Aisha on a wild goose chase, she wouldn't have had to get so fucking creative. Things would probably be looking a whole lot different.
---
Stegler hadn't called him in, but Jensen went over to the office anyway, found him asleep on a stack of files at the table in the middle of the office.
"Hey, look. I don't know if it means anything, but. You remember Carlos Alvarez?"
Wearing an expression on his face something had died in his mouth, Stegler stretched. "Yeah, he was on your team, right?"
Jensen nodded, feeling a little shitty. He could see Stegler's confusion, but bringing up Cougar meant bringing up a whole lot of things Stegler didn't need to get caught up in. It would probably have to happen at some point- and yeah, that was gonna be a hoot- but not yet.
"His family, down in Juarez, they were all murdered. I contacted my sister and sent her and her kid into hiding, and I'm going to see what I can do about finding Pooch again, warning him, but he went deep. I don't want to drag wolves to his door, you know?"
"You think it's connected?"
Shrugging, Jensen tried on another hundred justifications for not telling Stegler. "I don't know. I mean. If she was going to come after the families of everyone who was on the team, then, yeah. Cougar's would've been the easiest to find. I don't think there's anything more to it than that, 'cause by the time she came along, he'd cut most of those ties, like the rest of us, but."
Rubbing a hand over his tired face, dragging at the skin, Stegler stared at the table, giving it some thought. "She left that ear at your door in Antigua. If she can't find yours, she'd go for your friends. If she can't find your friends, she might. I don't know. It's a stretch. You sure it was her?"
"The timing's interesting. Just happened the other day."
"How'd you hear about it?"
"I was looking them up," Jensen explained. "I mean, Cougar was a friend, and. Towards the end, there, he was talking about them. Wanted me to check up, make sure they were okay. I've. Ah. Been a little remiss in that department, I guess."
Jensen was a crappy actor, it wasn't a state secret, but between that and the fact that the lie was so plausible, under the circumstances, Stegler bought it. Besides. Now that he thought about it, it was probably something he should've taken care of a long time ago.
And, just in case he didn't feel shitty enough already, Jensen asked Stegler for a favor.
There were several good reasons for having Stegler be the one to track down Pooch. The burner line was only safe if it didn't get used too much. Stegler wouldn't be as likely to totally over-share. Pooch had made it out, he was still out there, still sane. Jensen had tried, with his own family, but Pooch had actually managed it. But he'd come running, if Jensen asked. It wasn't right, going in and fucking it all up.
And besides, he'd already given Cougar the worst news left in the world to give. Being the one to blow off the last good friend the guy had, on top of that?
No fucking thanks.
---
There was no telling how the woman had died, and nothing but the shoes that identified her as being a woman in the first place. She'd been there, curled around the base of a tree, for a long while. Years, for all Cougar knew, but not as long as the skull he'd found half a mile back.
Aokigahara was the suicide forest at the base of Mount Fuji, and it was as good a place to mourn as any. He'd passed the signs on his way in, heard the tourists talking about them. Something about convincing people that they had a lot to live for, telling them not to kill themselves. Apparently the government had placed them in hopes that adequate signage could fend off death.
They didn't seem to be working.
There were hundreds of bodies scattered throughout the trees, their deaths lonelier and more useless than his own had been. Cougar spread himself thin, there, when he'd first arrived, and had learned where all the bodies were hiding among the leaves and branches.
He hadn't lasted long, though, it was all too much. He pulled himself back in until he was just a ghost wandering through the trees. He was the only one there, all through the night.
These others, they hadn't gotten a reprieve, nothing had saved them at the last minute. But he didn't know if they would've wanted one, anyway.
Estulto. You know nothing of these people.
You knew nothing of your own family, either.
You should have talked to Hector. Could've shown yourself, at least.
It wouldn't have made it worth it, but he'd had a shot, hadn't taken it it.
He was deep into the woods, now, he'd been walking for hours, now, more than a day. Across the clearing, a man's body still hung from a tree, his face so weathered and rotten that there were no features left. One moment, it was a stranger, the next, Hector. When he blinked again, it turned into Jensen, and Cougar's hand went to his phone.
There was no signal, here, anyway.
Jensen was fine. He needed to talk to him, apologize, maybe, but this, here, right now? Imagination, not omens.
Coming here had been a terrible idea, it was just making him more numb, depressed, and pissed off.
Mierda, it was awful, here.
On his way back towards the edge of the trees, he pulled himself together a little bit more, made himself solid to gain speed. Praying was easier this way, anyhow, being able to mouth the words, quiet as they were.
If Aisha would've caught up, right then, he wouldn't have honestly cared. Might have even welcomed it. In his head, he could hear the gunshot. Imagined not evading the bullet.
Making his way out of the woods, he took note of the bodies he found. Found a map at the park office and marked it with the locations of their remains.
He had no idea if anyone would notice, or if they would come looking, but right now, on the other side of the planet, there were bodies being lowered into the ground, probably by strangers. He couldn't do right by his own family, but he could do right by someone else's.
Leaving the forest, Cougar didn't stop walking until he reached the ocean, and thought about walking in. The waves crashing against the rocky shore were fierce, wild, but beyond that was just water. Uncaring, calm and forever moving.
Not moving fast enough, though. In four days, he needed to be in Chicago. In five, he'd be meeting up with Jensen. By the sixth, he decided, he'd be asking Aisha why she'd done it, and by the seventh, he'd start killing her.
He'd finish on the eighth.
---
Chapter 7
But hey, before you go: here's a soundtrack that I made! Track listing and notes over here.
Fandom/ Pairing The Losers (comic 'verse, with some help from the movie), eventual Jensen/Cougar
Rating: R overall
Summary: Cougar was bleeding all over the bomb in his lap, the last time Jensen saw him. But that was then.
Link to Master List & Previous Chapters
Five more days, and Cougar would be on his way to Chicago. Another day or so after that, he'd see Jensen again, and they'd be moving in to take action.
Cougar had never gotten the hang of Tokyo the way Roque or Jensen had, and it still made him tense. It was just the usual threats, with the usual local variations, but now included stores selling Hello Kitty crap by the ton.
Looking back on it now, Cougar knew he would've gotten shot on that job, either way, but the kitten bandages they'd found for him had been a bit much, and the "Hello Cougar" jokes had definitely been.
It was easier to get Sashimi in the middle of the ocean than it was to get it on the end of his chopsticks, and but practicing gave him something to concentrate on other than the fact that Aisha hadn't shown.
There was no way to know if he'd shaken her too well, or if she'd been recalled. Maybe Borodin, whoever the hell he was, had taken her seriously and they were meeting in an office somewhere, coming up with a new strategy.
Maybe he could go home, soon. At least start figuring out where the hell that was supposed to be. Juarez, maybe. Austin had been long enough ago that it wouldn't matter. Maybe Jensen would call him, soon, to say that the danger was gone, that it was all some big misunderstanding, and that Toronto was lovely, this time of year.
No diga sandeces.
By the time, later on, that he would've stopped to think about the coincidence, it would be only in terms that there was no such thing. It didn't stop him from jumping in his seat, startled by the vibration of the phone in his pocket. Jensen's name was on the caller ID.
---
The relief he felt seeing that Jensen was calling was quickly squashed by the fact that Jensen was calling. Something was wrong.
"Qué pasa?" Cougar asked, wondering if this was how they'd always talk, now.
"Hey, man, ah. Look. I'm really sorry, but. It's your family." Cougar probably would've evaporated if he didn't need so badly to hear what came next. "Your grandmother, Hector, Marisa and Carlos. Somebody went after them three days ago. You got eyes on Aisha?" Jensen stopped himself, Cougar could feel him taking a breath on the other end of the line and wondered when his own body would remember to do likewise. Jensen, though, kept talking. "Fuck, That came out really badly. I mean. I'm sorry."
Cougar forced the air into his lungs and back out again. He was on mission, everything else had to wait a minute. Esto primero. "Haven't seen her in a week, either I lost her, or she gave up."
"I'll see what I can search out." Jensen's next words sounded even worse, answering the question Cougar hadn't yet had time to consider. "And, ah... I mean, I'm really fucking sorry, but. It looks like the funeral's tomorrow, and-."
Cougar closed his eyes, momentarily blocking out another pack giggling girls walking past, outside the window. "It's probably a trap," he realized, trying to keep Jensen on track. "Your sister's safe?"
"Yeah. Told her to go get groceries anyway. Calling Pooch and Jolene next," he said, leaving Cougar to supply the code for himself. GeT FOOD. Get The Fuck Out Of Dodge.
He nodded into the phone, biting down on the fucked up anger at hearing that they were safe while he'd just lost everything. Finally. For good. "Is there anything else?"
"Ah. No. Stegler's going in to feel out a new inside man at Goliath, and I'm just sitting here spreading bad news." When Cougar didn't answer, he continued. "Look, man. I know we've got to be careful, and that I'll be seeing you next week, but if you want to talk, or whatever-"
Cougar wasn't sure, moments later, why he'd hung up then, cutting Jensen off mid-stream, but he didn't call him back, either.
---
Wow. You fucked up.
Jensen was a big enough man to admit that he was kind of an asshole, even if he was taken aback when Cougar hung up on him.
Smooth moves, Ex-Lax.
And the funny thing? He'd mostly called because he'd thought it would've sounded better coming from a friend. He'd rehearsed it in his head when he called his sister in a panic, telling her to go get groceries. Practiced it some more in the minute before he dialed Cougar's number.
Not enough, jackass. Again.
Because that was the thing, wasn't it? All this bullshit, wasting time on scrounged crumbs in hopes that at some point, they might just figure out what the fuck Aisha was up to? Hell, even if she'd been sitting across the table from him, having a perfectly civil conversation over tea and crumpets, there'd be no telling what was going on in her head.
If they'd waited it out, just sat on their asses in Antigua, she would've come back. Probably would've killed them. Which, yeah, obviously, would've sucked, but…
There weren't too many people Jensen would die for. His sister and niece, obviously, and if the bullets started flying, who the hell knew, maybe Cougar, too It wasn't something he was going out of his way to test out, but the way things were going, Jensen wouldn't be that surprised if it happened.
He had no idea if Cougar kept a similar list under that hat of his, he'd never asked. But if he did, though, Jensen was sure that his family would've been on it.
Damn it, why couldn't that bitch have left the kid?
The worst part, though? As fucked up as he himself felt, he knew Cougar was feeling worse. Jensen hadn't pulled any triggers, but if he hadn't told him to lead Aisha on a wild goose chase, she wouldn't have had to get so fucking creative. Things would probably be looking a whole lot different.
---
Stegler hadn't called him in, but Jensen went over to the office anyway, found him asleep on a stack of files at the table in the middle of the office.
"Hey, look. I don't know if it means anything, but. You remember Carlos Alvarez?"
Wearing an expression on his face something had died in his mouth, Stegler stretched. "Yeah, he was on your team, right?"
Jensen nodded, feeling a little shitty. He could see Stegler's confusion, but bringing up Cougar meant bringing up a whole lot of things Stegler didn't need to get caught up in. It would probably have to happen at some point- and yeah, that was gonna be a hoot- but not yet.
"His family, down in Juarez, they were all murdered. I contacted my sister and sent her and her kid into hiding, and I'm going to see what I can do about finding Pooch again, warning him, but he went deep. I don't want to drag wolves to his door, you know?"
"You think it's connected?"
Shrugging, Jensen tried on another hundred justifications for not telling Stegler. "I don't know. I mean. If she was going to come after the families of everyone who was on the team, then, yeah. Cougar's would've been the easiest to find. I don't think there's anything more to it than that, 'cause by the time she came along, he'd cut most of those ties, like the rest of us, but."
Rubbing a hand over his tired face, dragging at the skin, Stegler stared at the table, giving it some thought. "She left that ear at your door in Antigua. If she can't find yours, she'd go for your friends. If she can't find your friends, she might. I don't know. It's a stretch. You sure it was her?"
"The timing's interesting. Just happened the other day."
"How'd you hear about it?"
"I was looking them up," Jensen explained. "I mean, Cougar was a friend, and. Towards the end, there, he was talking about them. Wanted me to check up, make sure they were okay. I've. Ah. Been a little remiss in that department, I guess."
Jensen was a crappy actor, it wasn't a state secret, but between that and the fact that the lie was so plausible, under the circumstances, Stegler bought it. Besides. Now that he thought about it, it was probably something he should've taken care of a long time ago.
And, just in case he didn't feel shitty enough already, Jensen asked Stegler for a favor.
There were several good reasons for having Stegler be the one to track down Pooch. The burner line was only safe if it didn't get used too much. Stegler wouldn't be as likely to totally over-share. Pooch had made it out, he was still out there, still sane. Jensen had tried, with his own family, but Pooch had actually managed it. But he'd come running, if Jensen asked. It wasn't right, going in and fucking it all up.
And besides, he'd already given Cougar the worst news left in the world to give. Being the one to blow off the last good friend the guy had, on top of that?
No fucking thanks.
---
There was no telling how the woman had died, and nothing but the shoes that identified her as being a woman in the first place. She'd been there, curled around the base of a tree, for a long while. Years, for all Cougar knew, but not as long as the skull he'd found half a mile back.
Aokigahara was the suicide forest at the base of Mount Fuji, and it was as good a place to mourn as any. He'd passed the signs on his way in, heard the tourists talking about them. Something about convincing people that they had a lot to live for, telling them not to kill themselves. Apparently the government had placed them in hopes that adequate signage could fend off death.
They didn't seem to be working.
There were hundreds of bodies scattered throughout the trees, their deaths lonelier and more useless than his own had been. Cougar spread himself thin, there, when he'd first arrived, and had learned where all the bodies were hiding among the leaves and branches.
He hadn't lasted long, though, it was all too much. He pulled himself back in until he was just a ghost wandering through the trees. He was the only one there, all through the night.
These others, they hadn't gotten a reprieve, nothing had saved them at the last minute. But he didn't know if they would've wanted one, anyway.
Estulto. You know nothing of these people.
You knew nothing of your own family, either.
You should have talked to Hector. Could've shown yourself, at least.
It wouldn't have made it worth it, but he'd had a shot, hadn't taken it it.
He was deep into the woods, now, he'd been walking for hours, now, more than a day. Across the clearing, a man's body still hung from a tree, his face so weathered and rotten that there were no features left. One moment, it was a stranger, the next, Hector. When he blinked again, it turned into Jensen, and Cougar's hand went to his phone.
There was no signal, here, anyway.
Jensen was fine. He needed to talk to him, apologize, maybe, but this, here, right now? Imagination, not omens.
Coming here had been a terrible idea, it was just making him more numb, depressed, and pissed off.
Mierda, it was awful, here.
On his way back towards the edge of the trees, he pulled himself together a little bit more, made himself solid to gain speed. Praying was easier this way, anyhow, being able to mouth the words, quiet as they were.
If Aisha would've caught up, right then, he wouldn't have honestly cared. Might have even welcomed it. In his head, he could hear the gunshot. Imagined not evading the bullet.
Making his way out of the woods, he took note of the bodies he found. Found a map at the park office and marked it with the locations of their remains.
He had no idea if anyone would notice, or if they would come looking, but right now, on the other side of the planet, there were bodies being lowered into the ground, probably by strangers. He couldn't do right by his own family, but he could do right by someone else's.
Leaving the forest, Cougar didn't stop walking until he reached the ocean, and thought about walking in. The waves crashing against the rocky shore were fierce, wild, but beyond that was just water. Uncaring, calm and forever moving.
Not moving fast enough, though. In four days, he needed to be in Chicago. In five, he'd be meeting up with Jensen. By the sixth, he decided, he'd be asking Aisha why she'd done it, and by the seventh, he'd start killing her.
He'd finish on the eighth.
---
Chapter 7
But hey, before you go: here's a soundtrack that I made! Track listing and notes over here.