left gym early today 12th period. went to see Mr. Carney again. I think I need to find a way to get to his office without passing my mom. It's just weird that she knows I talk to him so much. She always wanted me to and I was too stubborn and when I finally did shes like what could you possibly have to talk about so much. There's no pleasing her. ( Read more... )

Friday we had a game. after that I did nothing. Woke up at like 11 showered and straightened my hair and then waited for Paula to pick me up to go to the competition. Varsity did so well but they only got 3rd cuz they got ripped off. Pine Bush was miserable, I don't know how they got 2nd. New Ro got 1st cuz they're amazing. anyway, so I got home ( Read more... )

I'm sick to my stomach over this. Disgusted. I hate being lied to and this is the biggest load of bullshit ever. You mean nothing to me anymore. you don't deserve any single god damn thing. fuck you.

updating, yea. so today was pretty good, better than the last few. I've had nothing on my mind but that shit and it's better to have been back in school with plenty to distract me. I've come to the conclusion that I have no control and I can't do anything about it and I'm stuck here. I'm done with the games though. anyway, so 12th period I left ( Read more... )

2 years ago I was asked by one of my friends one thing I would wish for if I had the chance. I said the simplicity of innocence to stay. It was the first thing that came to mind but somehow I didn't really understand why it's what I thought of. Now I do. I don't get why people hafta complicate every little thing. Like it's not that hard to just let ( Read more... )

I didn't deserve this. I kept my mouth shut since last march for a reason. I never said anything cuz I knew it would end up like this and it's not fair. But when you came to me I thought ok, it might work out. maybe. and when you said you wanted it to work I really thought it would. well I don't know what changed that night but all of a sudden it ( Read more... )

well lemme start by saying my years started off horribly. I can't believe I feel like this again. it just never seems to end and I don't deserve it. You'll never know what this has done to me. you'll never know me the way you should. You'll never know.

disbelief. I just feel like everything that was said was nothing but an excuse. I hate that you think of yourself that way but I can't do anything to change that. curse me for having respect and pride in myself. I must be such a fool for being myself and not being like every other girl. well fuck that. I won't change for anyone ( Read more... )

I have no clue how to describe tonight. It started out really good then got bad. I dunno exactly. maybe tomorrow I'll be able to put it into words. this sucks for now.

so this morning I woke up at 12 cuz felecia called me. she wanted to know if I wanted to go to Marinas so I got up and got dressed and waited for her to be done. so we met at marinas and I had a slice and she had her usual. then my mom calls and starts screaming at me to get home cuz I left one of the candles on in my room. unbelieveable, like I ( Read more... )