The kids are playing with clay.

GWEN:  I'm making sushi. This is my sushi restaurant. What kind of shop do you have, Spencer?

SPENCER:  A clay shop.

Gwen's birthday party theme this year:

None.  She wants nothing matching.

Puppy-dog balloon, Pikachu pinata
Brown & burgundy streamers
Black & white plates, gold forks
Black balloons, turquoise balloons
Black frosting on cake, sprinkled with candy bats

GWEN:  My teacher told us not to tell our parents what the project is that we're working on for Open House.
ME:  Oh, it's supposed to be a surprise?
GWEN:  That's what I inferred.
ME:  !  Nice word!
GWEN:  What? She taught us how to infer stuff.

Spencer was kicking a teddy bear along the floor.

ME:  Why are you kicking your teddy bear?
SPENCER:  What, he's always mean to people.
ME:  Really?
SPENCER:  Yeah.  He's a bully.
ME:  Oh.
SPENCER:  So you can do whatever you want to him. Just don't be nice.

The kids captured a snail over the weekend and named it Cheeseball Frank Hozman.

Spencer should never be a spokesperson for Long John Silver restaurants.

He says, "Why do they even call it that? That's not a good name for a food place. It doesn't sound like they'd give you very good food. It sounds like they'd give you a person to eat. Person meat."

Case Study:  Two separate children, two separate visits to the doctor's office for a flu shot ( Read more... )

Gwen's conversation with another kid online at Moshi Monsters:

KID:  your monster is cooler

GWEN: NOOOOOO!

KID:  ok than

GWEN:  You spelled "then" wrong

KID:  oh ok

She has dark purple hair all over!

Put care into mixing the potion.

His chair is alive!

Someone's shaving all the fur off that bear!

Where did my pet boa constricter go?

Spencer's crazy sense of humor: "Mom, Vesta's mean. She just punched me."