i feel like i'm never going to be good enough for anyone. i feel like i wont ever be able to please anyone. i'll never live up to my expectations, yet i refuse to lower my standards because that shows weakness. i know that i am successful, i know that i am far beyond my peers, and i know that i have accomplished incredible things thus far. yet ( Read more... )

i sit at a desk for almost 9 hours straight on mondays and wednesdays. sometimes i actually do work, but most of the time i have to keep myself occupied somehow. lately i have been catching up on current events/news, doing some personal research, but mostly i just aimlessly go to the same 5 pages over and over and over. today i have decided to ( Read more... )

i saw this headline on msn.com this morning talking about how people may have unclaimed money from insurance companies, stocks, tax refunds, and other things. they gave website that can be used to search by state and a persons name. i was looking around and found none for my family (boo) but I think I might have found some people that you guys ( Read more... )

i just had an amazingly fun weekend. i went up with some girls from phoenix to play in a mini tournament in flagstaff. i didnt play to well in our two games against the other girls team. after that we watched the phoenix men's tea play a few games. the last game some of us girls joined the men's team and played some more. i totally rocked in ( Read more... )

you know what i hate most about life? how easy and fun it is to gain weight, yet how hard and horrible it is to lose it. how it takes less effort to gain weight and it takes months to lose that weight. i also hate how gaining 5 lbs makes my shirts and jeans no longer fit. 5 lbs really isnt that much but when you're only 5'3 that fat doesnt have ( Read more... )

this weekend was so much fun. friday was wes' bday. i cooked him dinner here and i think he liked it. then we went out with dragan, chris, and gerry to a pool hall. none of us were really that good, but it was still tons of fun. after that we went to mill for a bit and then to mcduffy's. on saturday, wes called in sick to work and i spent the ( Read more... )

i told myself this time would be different. this would be the last time, and i promised not to cry.

i really dont understand anything that is going on in my life right now. i think this is the first time in a very, very long time that i have not had complete and ordered control over my life. it seems like i'm going through my days in some sort of fast moving bubble. the only constants are the times i wake up and go to bed and my summer class ( Read more... )

yesterday I was driving up to wes' house and i could see this huge smoke cloud and lots of smoke rising from the mountains north east of the valley. i figured there must be another wildfire. we went to wes' dad's house for dinner. they got a puppy, a big fat goat, and 3 bunnies now. keesha (his grandpa's dog) kept chasing the bunnies, haha. we ( Read more... )

if you wanna go TUBING on sunday the 26th let me know!