The fear is gone. Falling hard and fast and with no care as to the destination. He speaks so easily of glorious futures, simple, but gloious none the less, of babies and front porches or fire escapes. And he means it. And christ, I believe him. And I'm drawn into this perfect picture he paints - well, perfect with expected but quirky variations. No ( Read more... )

and i am finally seeing why i was the one worth leaving. i'm so sorry. so. sorry.

At the age of 20 time is infinite. No, not literally. We understand this. We can cognitively comprehend the concept of tomorrow, of 1000 tomorrows. Ingelligently and with a level mind, we can contemplate our numbered days. But the numbers don't really have bearings. not really. We can spout 'carpe diem' and 'no day but today' as rallying ( Read more... )

so be it i'm your crowbar ( Read more... )

The other day I saw a fruitfly in the elevator. The two of us were alone, and I just stared at it, watching it struggle and thought, "Jesus Christ, you've completely missed it. This is not what it's all about at all for you. You're not even close to where you're supposed to be, doing what you're supposed to be doing." Then I realized I was ( Read more... )

So, here we are, one week of classes painfully and effortly put away. And, I must say that it was superb. I'm meeting so many new and amazing people, all of whom I have the highest intentions of actually becoming friends with and not just facebook friends. We shall see though. So, just to let the world know ( Read more... )

So, I'm not going to lie. I haven't even tried to quit. But, I don't necessarily consider that a bad thing. For instance, I have made friends with the vast majority of the smokers in my building. Including Katie, David and Ben who are all fucking amazing. AND, it's a good way to kill time, quell frustration and to hit on guys. Let's face it ( Read more... )

It's almost 2:30. don't judge me. this isn't going to be eloquent poetry or possibly even coherent thoughts. I've been up for 18 hours and I'm leaving in six more. i just reread my entry from this time last year. it feels like seven million lifetimes ago. well, seven million and four. hurricane katrina is on my tv. heh. kat, there's a ( Read more... )

"When poor single mothers had the option of remaining out of the labor force on welfare, the middle and upper middle class tended to view them with a certain impatience, if not disgust. The welfare poor were excoriated for their laziness, their persistence in reproducing in unfavorable circumstances, their presumed addictions, and above all, for ( Read more... )

Five steps away from falling in love with you ( Read more... )