It has been an overly busy week. A 42 hour work week. My birthday. Dentist. Visiting Derek. Hanging out with Parker. Late nights. Not doing my homework. Hanging out with Cynthia on Sunday ( Read more... )

 Its my birthday. But I feel weird, like maybe it not. It's not the same as it has been.  I didn't wake up early, drive to school to hang out with all my HS friends. Or find out that my locker had been decorated. I didn't have like 5 birthday cakes made for me, and I didnt have the oppertunity to share them with the lunch bunch. And I know I wont ( Read more... )

Honestly I cannot wait for vacation. I'm glad it is coming soon too. I have one last test today in about 15 minutes that I'm kind of freaking out about but whatever. Then tomorrow I dont have to worry about anything and Friday I only have one more class.

I don't even care that I have to work over break. I'm looking forward to hikes, and biking, and ( Read more... )

It is incredibly nice outside, probably the nicest day this year so far, but I'm inside being sick. I want the snow to melt so I can lay outside on the grass. I'm glad this week will be easy though. Effective speaking is canceled all week, and I don't have managerial accounting on wednesday. I can't really complain. I just wish I would feel better.

( Read more... )

I'm feeling it this time from the inside out,
It's crawling on my skin, and I'm tearing myself apart
I'm not an overly emotional self-destructive wreck.
I can't be ignored and you're stares cut my intentions in half
I stutter over words just to spit them out
my mind is spinning backwards.
My nerves are on the edge of disaster.

I can't explain it any ( Read more... )

I think that things might be looking up in the near future. I've managed to convince myself to pursue a change in major... finally. I'm done hating my idiotic classes and the people in them. I hate tedious work and I'm done pretending that I like it.
I think that maybe I'm finally accepting who I really am. I know people say that where you grow up ( Read more... )

I'm really nervous. I have to give a presentation today for Effective Speaking for 15 minutes. Im not a good public speaker. I need to calm the fuck down.

I feel hopeless most days. And I do mean hopeless, not sad. Or depressed... just hopeless and forgotten maybe. Like maybe I didn't make a lasting impression on someone, or maybe they simply didnt like me. I'm always lost in thought and searching for some form of reassurance. It never comes.

Im lost back into my old ways, yet this isnt high school ( Read more... )

I feel like this week should be a lot better than last week.

Parker and I went to Berlin to get hair cuts. It was fun. He got me an early birthday present. So now I can play WoW for the next to months which was really sweet of him. We're gonna start new characters together too. Im excited.

I'm pretty bored right now though, because he's play Eve and ( Read more... )

I love the kind of weather when its easy to smell spring in the air. It's getting to the point where I cant wait to help my dad nail posts into the freshly turned soil in our garden. I can't wait for spring cleaning, to go swimming outside, and walking around barefoot. I want to go sailing for the first time. I want road trips and friends and ( Read more... )